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UWA SURVIVOR II AWAKENS!!! We're looking for 15 victims and 1 survivor

Gary Coleman: Here we go again. When you wake up in the morning with three bottles of whisky and two girls by your side- you know it's time to put yourself back together for anotha UWA Survivor. I've been to the bottom, now to the top. For sheezy, when Kingsly called me up for this thing I started dancin! And I couldn't stop. From a to z, for sheezy, it's my time to shine again in the UWA Survivor II. I am the official spokesman, yal. I make the impossible look easy, believe me, for sheezy. I have money coming out of my ears, yal! My pockets can't even hold this green, yal. Thanks to UWA Survivor I dropping bombs with talent like: "THE Premier Athlete" Cliff Knight, "Hardcore Hooligan" Johnny Damage, "The Lonewolf" Evan Drexxler, Chris Copeland, Uluz, and that CRACKER Zang and oh so many more great names! We've got something here you can move to... something you can groove to... with the eyes on the prize we're searching... The UWA Survivor II is searching for stables consisting of four wrestlers. We are going to change things up a bit with this one. Ponda and Kingsly have new tricks up their sleeves in this one, yo. So get you big head on the floor, especially when I come knockin at yo door. Get in or get out. I'll break it down for ya. If you don't sign up in this one, you are a gutless, self-proclaimed cracker... CRACKER! For Sheezy!

Let the mysteries unfold again... it's time for UWA Survivor II to detonate in your "mind-pipes". UWA Survivor II travels from Canada, to the United States, to England, to India, to Africa, to China and to the "Shuriken" in Tokyo, Japan. How far can you survive? Creighton Duke and Ashleigh Engel's have been rehired for this extravaganza. Simmy Upchul is still a fugitive on the run in Las Vegas; and he's back with the odds-on favourites. So, Here's comes the BOOM. In beautiful British Columbia, Canada, we begin with our classic specialty six-teen man unethical tournament. Unlike the usual winners advance style type of tournaments you are used to, the sixteen man unethical tournament has three unique characteristics about it. 1) Losers Advance- if you lose your first match, your name continues up on the brackets until you win. When you win, your name will be taken off the brackets. So the finalists will actually be the two wrestlers that lost all their matches. It's a reverse-tournament. Losers continue fighting until they win! Make sense? It's really easy to understand. 2) Quick and the Dead style- this basically means that the wrestlers make their choices who they want to fight against in the brackets. There is no declining anybody's challenge. 3) The Fisherman's Wharf- if you are the two finalists (meaning that you lost all your matches), you have to fight in a fisherman's wharf along the Pacific Ocean.

"The Premier Athlete" Cliff Knight takes the first-ever UWA Survivor ring

He's still hiding from the loan sharks! It's Simmy Upchul! The heavy-drinkin' money-losin' man from Vegas is here to let everyone know who the odds on favorite is. He's BACK...JACK!
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