LOCATION: Winnipeg, Manitoba
ARENA: Winnipeg Arena
DATE: Wednesday, December 11, 2002
  • 16 wrestlers needed.
"THE Official Jumpoff"

Fireworks explode and the Winnipegers go ballistic for the official Jump Off of UWA Survivor 2)

Jimmy: Oh my! Baby! Baby! It has begun!!! Welcome everyone to the second-ever UWA Survivor 2 here in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Rudolph: This is amazing! It’s so loud in here that I can’t even here myself think.
Jimmy: This is our second jump off ever in the history of the Ultimate Wrestling Alliance and tonight our entire roster will be broken up into four distinct teams of four.
Rudolph: There’s a lot riding tonight. This is who you are going to be teamed up with four the next 3 months! Your teammates are going to be like brothers and you never know if your brother is there to help or stab you in the back!

(A limousine pulls up in the front of the Winnipeg arena as the driver opens the door for its passenger. Cliff Knight with wildly spiked-up greenish yellow hair exits the vehicle with a cocky smirk on his face.)

Jimmy: (The fans cheer from a distance) Last years number one wrestler in the e-fed World, Cliff Knight. He is THE best wrestler in the World and he proved that last year winning UWA Survivor

(A familiar looking vehicle “the Hardcore Hooligan Tour Bus” comes to an abrupt stop as “Hardcore Hooligan” Johnny Damage swings the sliding door and exits the vehicle.)

Rudolph: Last years runner-up, Johnny Damage bringing his own brand to the UWA!

(Cliff Knight stops at the door and almost as if he can smell Johnny Damage from a mile away he looks back towards last years’ nemesis. Damage smirks while shaking his head.)

(Without a word spoken, Cliff Knight kisses the first UWA Survivor Ring that he boldly wears on his ring finger. He stretches his arm out showing what Johnny Damage came so close to winning last year)

(Damage, mad at Knight’s cockiness, goes back into his vehicle re-arranging a few objects in his tour bus. He bottles up his anger. Cliff Knight, cockily smiles and enters Winnipeg Arena with a swarm of fans around him)

(The scene cut shots to a glove with the fingers cut off the ends. The camera zooms back out and for the very surprise of the fans, it’s Chris Copeland!)

Jimmy: WOW! It’s Chris Copeland! Last years fourth place comer!
Rudolph: Did you know that he was going to be here?

(Chris Copeland is down on his knees with alcohol and cigarette buts beside him. A loud and disgusting noise is heard when Chris Copeland barfs the leftover McDonalds he found in the BFI bin.)

Rudolph: OH MY. What happened to him?
Jimmy: He’s not looking very good, Rudy.

(Chris Copeland turns his head towards the camera as barf trickles down his chin. He tries to mutter a few words but Copeland drops his head in the puddle of vomit, alcohol and cigarette butts.)

Jimmy: What happened to Copeland?

(Jay Styles hops out of a cab and looks over to Copeland who is staggering around like a drunken bum. Styles walks over and Copeland sways towards him. Styles easily sidesteps Copeland’s stagger and grabs him by the scruff of his torn shirt and drags him towards the entrance doors.)

Styles: You okay? You look pretty rough.
Copeland: The name’s Copeland. Chris Copeland. I’m in this tournament.
Styles: (Look of surprise)Really? Good god man. I hope I’m not on your team.
Copeland: You want to start something?

(With that Copeland puts up his dukes and drunkenly falls into a pile of garbage. Styles just laughs and enters the building.)

(In the hallway, a silhouette of a man holding a chair in his right hand. The cameraman runs quickly to the intimidating man and notices it to be Pain Express- a UWA legend. He has a paper in his left hand with the locker room number on it “245”.)

Pain Express: Anyone here?

(He opens the door and sees Chainsaw Massaca panting for a breath of air. Chainsaw Massaca, a 6’3” 260 pound man charges up and runs at a football tackling pad like a maniac on the loose. He pushes it forward and then lets it go. Chainsaw Massaca again is panting for breath as he notices Pain Express at the door.)

Pain Express: Hey buddy. I think that you have the wrong locker room. This is 245 and my paper says 245.

Chainsaw Massaca: (breathing heavily he nods his head and points at the football tackling machine)

Pain Express: What you want me to tackle that thing?

Chainsaw Massaca: (nods his head up and down still gasping for air) Yes

(Pain Express pulls off his leather coat with the words “Indiana Terminator” written on the back and like a rabid bull he stares at the tackling machine. Chainsaw Massaca and Pain Express size up close to the same in muscular build as well as their undeniable strength.)

(Pain Express, screeches his shoes as if they were tires, and he rams the tackling machine with so much power that it gets slanted and pokes a hole in the wall)

(Pain Express lets go of the tackling machine and Chainsaw Massaca is surprised at Pain Expresses power. Pain Express is in the other room covered in dust. Chainsaw Massaca looks at the hole in the wall and then helps Pain Express up and dusts him off)

Chainsaw Massaca: You just poked a hole in the wall!
Pain Express: Yea… You just got to get all that rage you have within you for one big attack. And when you can concentrate all that anger, use it to your advantage.

(Pain Express and Chainsaw Massaca continue to bond as the camera cutshots to Cliff Knight with eyes of fire walking to the ring)

(“Insane” Lou Carbo is giving the Village Idiot a back massage and Carbo is rubbing his 2X4 like it was a woman. Jason Ross opens the door and has a seat next to his two chums.)

Ross: Hey Chums. Ready to smash our way to victory?

(Village Idiot smiles and nods. Lou Carbo licks his wood as if it were a woman. Ross just shakes his head as his two friends quiver about. Ross begins taping his hands and a hole gets punctured through the wall. “Sorry!” can be heard from the next room as Ross settles back and continues to tape his hands.)

Carbo: Hey Boss, I mean Ross. I hope we get to be on the same team.
Ross: Yeah, that would be great chap. Hey Idiot, I mean Village, I want you to go walk around and scout out our competition.

(Like a bat out of hell, Idiot runs to the door. Smashes into it, then opens the door and disappears into the hallway.)

(Drexxler is pacing in his dressing room and Paul Duffy walks in. The two share a hearty handshake and they begin to talk.)

Duffy: Hey Evan, tough break. I heard the presidents are making you fight against your will.
Drexxler: Duffy my man. I just want to teach. Little Myron is depending on me. Well, the contract is binding, so I guess I have three more months of fighting ahead of me. Are you nervous.?
Duffy: Pff, are you kidding? I got this in the bag. No offence.
Drexxler: Don’t get too cocky, I’ve seen people made and broken here in the UWA.
Duffy: I guess so. I hope we’re on the same team. That way we’ll have a voting advantage over the other two in our group if we have any weak links.
Drexxler: Yeah, well. Let’s just hope the groups are evenly matched.

(The camera cuts to Hardcore Hogan and Bryan Deverot. They are sitting around eating BBQ chicken. Deverot gulps back his glass of water then tosses the glass against the wall. Hogan is looking like he is in excellent condition, while Deverot seems to have gotten a bit chubbier if that is possible to imagine.)

Hogan: Listen brah. We made the UWA what it is today and now we’re back on the payroll. I can’t believe my agent got me back in the UWA after all this time. How was prison?
Deverot: Well Terry, I mean Hulk, I mean Sven. It was a tough time for the “Big Show”. Many tried to make me their big ho. I tried to be a good boy Hogan, I really did. But I killed me a man in prison. (Whispers)>I got away with it. Shhhhh.
Hogan: Alright dude, we have three months to make a big payday. With any luck, It will be a golden oldie final with Hogan and Deverot headlining the card. THINK ABOUT IT DUDE! BIG SHOW AND HARDCORE HOGAN DOING THE BACKSTROKE AS HARDCORE HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON THESE YOUNG GUNS IN THE U-DUBYA-A BROTHER.
Deverot: Alright, just calm down a little bit. Your making my head spin. I heard that Klyde Kooger Klancey is back. What if we’re on the same team? I don’t want to go to jail for murder again.
Hogan: Listen brah, we’ll burn that bridge when we get there.
Deverot: I haven’t snapped in a while. I’m learning to control my anger.
Hogan: (Gives a thick thumbs up.)That’s good brah. Hey listen dude, ----

(The door busts open and Triple K also known as Klyde Kooger Klancey charges in and eye gouges Deverot. The evil “N” word is shouted and a brawl begins. Hogan just starts flexing, ignoring the pandemonium around him as security surges in and separates the two giants. Deverot is thrashing like a jelly fish stung him and Klancey spits in Deverot’s pink, sweat soaked shirt.

(The scene cuts to the Village Idiot, who is wandering around the arena until he notices a tall man in a mask- the only masked man in the tournament Dark Avenger. Village Idiot notices a ladder and climbs up. The tall man looks around and Village Idiot stops his climbing. Dark Avenger is quietly worshiping the devil as Village Idiot reaches to the top of the ladder. Avenger finally notices the Village Idiot and wobbles the ladder. The ladder falls and Village Idiot falls to the ground rolling in pain. Avenger covers Village Idiot and yells in his face)


(Village Idiot tries to run but Dark Avenger wraps his beefy arm around the Village Idiot)


(Dark Avenger hands the Village Idiot a tattered Cole’s Notepad with “Satan’s Worship” on the cover. Village Idiot panics and scurries away from the scary man.)


(Cliff Knight is standing in the doorway of his dressing room as a cameraman walks by.)

Knight: Hey you, come here. I have an announcement for the competitors of the UWA. Cliff Knight went the distance solo in the first Survivor, and now he has to fill his “works well with others” criteria for his resume. Hooligan, you are good. But not good enough. If we end up on the same team, I got your back, if you’re another team, I’ll be forced to bury you.

(Dynamite Newton appears as if out of nowhere and nuzzles up next to Knight.)

Newton: Hey Little Miss! I’ve been training for ya. Getting strong for ya Little Miss. I got a whole bag of man spice and you just don’t get any of it.
Knight: You do realize who you are talking to!? Did you call me Little Miss? I went through 15 men to become the first winner and you want to burn my bridge now!? You are a damned fool-- Whoever you are.
Newton: I’m Dynamite Newton Little Miss. Pure TNT.
Knight: Fuck you. I’ll bury you the first chance I get. Please god let me have you first round in the tournament. You need to learn some manners… Little Bitch.
Newton: Don’t get all defensive Little Miss. I guess I’ll see you around.
Knight: Yeah… Fuck Yeah.

(Village Idiot, like a true spy, continues his mission despite earlier set-backs. Now, fully regrouped, Village Idiot sees Johnny Damage walking out of the bathroom. Village Idiot quickly looks to the right and enters the first door that he sees. The first door just so happens to be “Hardcore Hooligan” Johnny Damage’s locker room. The Village Idiot squeals when he realizes his mistake and jumps into a large locker.)

Johnny Damage: AHHH, That’s Betta!

(Johnny Damage finds his lit-up cigarette and inhales greedily. Quiet squeals are emerging from a locker and Damage investigates. Damage looks at the camera and smiles with his Singapore Cane. He flings the door open and starts poppin’ away! Village Idiot raises his hands to defend himself but the onslaught is too much.)

Village Idiot: It hurts me!

(Damage spits his lit cigarette onto Village Idiot and like a rabbit he escapes the pain of Johnny Damage)

(Jason Ross is sipping tea when Village Idiot busts into the room. He is battered and he falls to the knees.)

Ross: So, what’s the word Idiot?
Idiot: DARK AVENGER… Crazy… Hooligan… Nasty… Very Hardcore nasty.

Ross: Hmmm, it wasn’t a very productive mission.. But good job.
Carbo: Hey Ross, look what Village Idiot can do!

(Carbo holds out his hand and Village Idiot begins licking it! Ross looks a little shocked.)

Carbo: (Laughing)It makes my hand soft! And it tickles.

(A staff member pops in and grimaces.)

Staff member: umm, The presidents are about to announce the teams…..

(The UWA squad, consisting of; Gary Coleman, President Pondababa, President Kingsly, Jimmy Valentine, Rudolph Wittacher, Creighton Duke, Ashleigh Engels and Simmy Upchul all walk to the podium as a unit. The fans begin to cheer as the UWA staff take their spots. Rudolph and Jimmy take their places in a commentating booth, Creighton Duke and Ashleigh Engels stay to the ring, and Simmy Upchul, Gary Coleman, President Kingsly and Pondababa take center stage. There is a hat with all the 16-competitors names in it and Kingsly starts quivering his fingers.)

President Kingsly: Who will be number 1?

(Kingsly pulls out “Pain Express” from the hat.)

(The scene cut-shots to Pain Express in the back who is holding his finger like number one)

President Kingsly: Number Two!

(Kingsly takes out “Cliff Knight” as the second choice)

President Kingsly: Number Three!

(Kingsly pulls out “The Foundation of Sensation” Paul Duffy from the hat)

President Kingsly: And the last member of the first team is

(Kingsly pulls out “Village Idiot”)

President Kingsly: The Village Idiot! We have completed the first team of: Pain Express, Cliff Knight, Paul Duffy and the Village Idiot!
Rudolph: This is a pretty solid team. We have two UWA legends: Pain Express and Cliff Knight. Knight has come back for a second UWA Survivor ring for his other hand. Paul Duffy is an accomplished wrestler in his own right. And we have yet to see the power the Village Idiot possesses.

(Kingsly starts quivering his fingers)

President Kingsly: And number one for our second team!

(President Kingsly yanks out Hardcore Hogan)

President Kingsly: HARDCORE HOGAN!

(The scene cutshots to Hardcore Hogan in his locker room posing his 24-inch pythons. Deverot is patting him on his back and pointing at the UWA legend.)

(Kingsly pulls out the second wrestler)

President Kingsly: Jay “The Reaper” Styles!

(President Kingsly draws the third wrestler)

President Kingsly: “Hardcore Hooligan” Johnny Damage

(President Kingsly picks the final member of the second group)

President Kingsly: Jason Ross!

Jimmy: Hardcore Hooligan and Hardcore Hogan are both the masters of the hardcore match. Hooligan was the runner-up last year while Hogan has been Missing in Action for last little while. Jason Ross is on his own with neither Lou Carbo nor the Village Idiot on his team. And the ever-cocky Jay Styles looking to ply his trade.

(Kingsly is having a barrel of fun as he yanks out the first name for the third group)

President Kingsly: And the first wrestler is: Evan Drexxler!

(The scene cut-shots to Drexxler in the back with his hands on his hips. He shakes his head left to right in anger)

President Kingsly: And the second wrestler is: Dynamite Newton!

(The scene cut-shots to Dynamite Newton in Drexxler’s locker room. Dynamite Newton joyfully starts shaking Drexxler and saying “we’re together Drex”

President Kingsly: And the third wrestler for the third group is: Well, it’s the “Big Show”, Bryan Deverot!

(The scene cut-shots to Bryan Deverot in the back with his face buried in a bucket of BBQ chicken. Hogan pats him on the back and gives the camera a thick thumbs-up)

President Kingsly: And the fourth and final member of the third group is… “Insane” Lou Carbo!

Rudolph: Evan Drexxler was third-place for last years survivor and is here against his own free will. Luckily, he has his friend Dynamite Newton backing him up. We have “Big Show” Bryan Deverot, he is notorious for withstanding even the most powerful finishers. And “Insane” Lou Carbo, the man with the 2 x 4 who is friends with Jason Ross and the Village Idiot. They are all on separate teams. How will this factor in?

President Kingsly: And the first name picked for the fourth team is…

(Kingsly pulls out a piece of a paper from the hat)

President Kingsly: Triple K, Klyde Kooger Klancey!

(The scene cut-shots to Klyde Kooger Klancey)
Klyde Kooger Klancey: I am here to teach everyone in the UWA that the South shall rise again! Especially that N-

(Cut shot back to Kingsly)

President Kingsly: (shakes his head left and right) That was unexpected. But yet somehow I expected Klyde to say the N-word.

Jimmy: Logic will state that the final three are as follows: Chris Copeland, Dark Avenger and Chainsaw Massaca! Klyde Kooger Klancey is as volatile as they come. Chris Copeland looks to be as rough shape as he’s ever been. Dark Avenger worships Satan! And Chainsaw Massaca is looking to unload his rage at anything that gets in his path. This is quite a dysfunctional group Rudolph.
Rudolph: You’re tellin’ me!
Jimmy: The presidents are going to take a short recess as they put together the first round of the unethical tournament.

Team One: Pain Express
Cliff Knight
Paul Duffy
Village Idiot

Team Two: Hardcore Hogan
Jay Styles
Johnny Damage
Jason Ross

Team Three: Evan Drexxler
Dynamite Newton
Bryan Deverot
Lou Carbo

Team Four: Klyde Kooger Klancey
Chris Copeland
Dark Avenger
Chainsaw Massaca

OOC: Tune into the roleplay board for the matches as they are created.