In reality, those who deny that character traits may be changed have confused changing traits with removing them. What is not possible is the second. If one sought to completely remove all traces of anger and passion, it would not be possible. However, it is possible to control and direct them through spiritual struggle and discipline, which we have been commanded to do, and these are the means of our salvation and the path to reach Allah. At the same time, dispositions vary. Some are quick to change, others slow.
How can it be desirable to uproot passion and anger completely when without anger, jihad would not be possible? How could that be a goal if the Prophets (Allah bless them and give them peace) were characterized by them? For our Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “I am a human, and I get angry as humans do.” Similarly, if someone spoke in his presence about a disliked matter, he would get angry until his cheeks were red. However, he would not speak other than the truth, so his anger would not make him leave the truth. Allah Most High said, “Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good.” (Qur’an, 3: 134) Allah did not say, “Those bereft of anger.” Anger and passion are to be returned to a balanced state, such that they neither overcome nor master the intellect. Rather, the Sacred Law and intellect are to be the standards and masters over anger and passion. This is clearly possible, and is what is meant by changing character traits, so understand [o reader].[1]
How to Achieve Balance
This balanced state is reached in two ways: firstly, by divine generosity and sound natural predisposition, such that one is born with a high intellect and good character, and with their passion and anger in balance. This is the case of the Prophets (Allah bless them and give them peace)…
The other way to attain these noble traits is by spiritual struggle and discipline, namely, to make oneself perform the actions that a desired trait entails. These traits are then gradually acquired by becoming used to those actions, as well as by keeping the company of those who already posses these traits.
One who wishes to become generous, for example, should force himself (yatakallaf) to act as a generous person would, by spending money. Then one consistently struggles with one’s self by giving until it becomes naturally easy to give, and one becomes generous by nature. Likewise, one who wishes to become characterized by humility (tawadu`) after arrogance (kibr) was preponderant, should force himself to perform the actions of the humble for a while, struggling with his lower self, until it becomes a character trait, and these actions become easy. All traits that are praiseworthy in the Sacred Law may be attained by this means.
Keeping the company of perfected spiritual guides and avoiding the company of those with blameworthy traits has a strong effect, for dispositions (tiba`) can acquire good traits through company as it can acquire bad traits.[2] Moreover, for many people a Shaykh’s reminders and reprimands may achieve what mere determination and spiritual may not. It may be that a student may leave the mire of lowly traits by the reminders and reprimands of his Shaykh far more quickly than by his determination and spiritual will alone.[3]
If the self finds pleasure from habit and its habitual company in the worthless and inclines to them, then how can it not find pleasure in the worthwhile if it is returned to it for a period and made to remain attached to it while mixing with the righteous and keeping their company, while avoiding worthless company? In reality, the self’s inclination towards despicable things is contrary to its natural disposition and akin to an inclination to eat mud. As for its inclining to wisdom, the love and knowledge of Allah and His worship, it is like its inclination to food and drink. It is a result of the natural disposition of the heart, for the heart is a lordly matter.[4] Thus, the self’s inclining to its passions is alien to it, and foreign to its disposition.
The food of hearts is wisdom, knowledge of Allah, and love of Him. Its turning away from its natural disposition is the result of sicknesses that afflict it, as when a sickness afflicts a person’s stomach, causing him not to desire food or drink though they are the means for his survival. Thus, every heart that inclines to love of other than Allah has a sickness to the extent of its inclining. The only excThe one who wants to become a legal scholar of deep understanding (faqih al-nafs) needs to undertake the works of such scholars, namely repeated study of legal texts and keeping the company of jurists, until he is characterized by legal understanding, and thus becomes such a jurist. Likewise, the one who seeks to purify his self, perfect it and adorn it with noble traits and good works has no way to achieve this except in the same manner. Just as the student of law cannot become a jurist by a night’s study or reading, the one seeking to purify his self cannot achieve it by a night’s worship or be debarred from it by a day’s disobedience. However, a day’s remissness could lead to another until, little by little, the self becomes accustomed to remissness and leaves its striving.eption is if it loved that thing as a means to the love of Allah and His religion. This is subtle, however, and only known by those of spiritual insight. The opinion of the one afflicted is of little consequence in this, unless confirmed by his spiritual guide.
It has become clear, then, that it is certainly possible to acquire good character traits by spiritual discipline, which is forcing oneself to perform certain actions until they become a habit. This is a result of the wondrous relationship between the heart and limbs, the self and the body. Every attribute that appears in the heart leaves traces on the limbs, until they do not move except in accordance with it. And every action of the limbs can leave traces in the heart, so the relationship is circular.