Ive decided to maintain a certain amount of anonymity, mainly because Im worried about what my family/friends would think if they stumbled across this site! I will however, disclose some non-incriminating personal details, just because I want to and I know myself when Ive been reading ana/mia/SI sites Ive been curious to know something of the person who has written them so here goes:
My life with Eds began in late 2001. I had been overeating for a long while and didnt care about my appearance, I was 15 and 130lbs. Then one time I had eaten a lot and felt very ill, I had heard about making yourself sick to lose weight and I was feeling very uncomfortable so I thought I would try it. I discovered I liked losing weight and in the summer of 2002 I was 5 feet 3 and 98lbs and b/p ing up to 5 times a day. I was thin but still unhappy with my weight, but sick of mia, it was controlling my life, so my best friend helped me get over my mia. She helped me a lot. However I continued to binge but without the purging and consequently I went back up to 130lbs. At first I was distraught at this new weight I had put on, it was a big shock. I remember sitting on my bed with a razor panicking, wanting to cut my thigh fat off with the razor that was in my hand. Thats when my SI started. Eventually I stopped over eating and got down to a healthy size-around 125lbs. Then in the summer of 2003 I began overeating again and purged on a few occasions. In around October 2003 I made a vow to myself that I would become ana, I needed to lose the weight, I wanted to be back to 98lbs. Sadly mia took over again after a while! Now I am ana/mia but mostly mia. I dont want to be mia but I have a definite lack of self-control.
Right now I am 112lbs and 5 feet 3. My goal is 100lbs. |
