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Emma's Page
Chutney, cheese aubergines and more....

woof woof bark
Keith Haring Rocks
like an igneous one!

woof woof bark
Hazard:dangerous site for the weak minded!

Cheese with wheels!! ya hooooo hum! tasty, but not as tasty as catfish! If you like cheese click the cheese!

Bout me
Im a beautiful lady with long golden hair and huge breasts. I can go all night if you want me to. come. come aboard the love train. if you want some chutney e-mail me on chuftey@hotmail.com

nothing better than home-grown nan's chutney!!!

B.F.G's
important people in my life who i have lost

Name: ?
Age:17
Why: He was my secret lover, unlike any other. Lets just say i got too carried away on the slide...yum!

Name: Sam K
Age::17
Why: she was the love of my life then left. Mmm..will remember the ruler forever...

Name: Vir Ginity
Age: 18
Why: She got lost and is yet to be found.

Name:Katie V B
Age 17
Why: me and katie had a rather exciting experience with a cucumber.

If you ever get bored. All you need is:
1- one rather large aubergine
2- a pair of scissors
3- some KY jelly (for necessary lubricative purposes)
4- and your head
Then you can make yourself one of these wonderful aubergine masks. Then all you have to do is sit in the fridge and wait to pounce on unsuspecting family members! Mwahahahahaaa!!!

fridge camouflage
(For when you're raidin the fridge and you dont want anyone to know you are there)

Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got til its gone!
Thanx Edd for the constant support through my herpes. Since i was diagnosed you have been a tower of strength

Welcome to...

SOME INTERESTING FACTS

DAYS OF THE WEEK

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday (sunday is actually the first day of the week, how bizarre!)

MONTHS OF THE YEAR

January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
(There used to be only 10 months in the year, now theres 12! How facinating)

COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW

Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Indigo
Violet
(Aubergienes my fav colour! How absurd!)

Mmm...lesbianism...what a treat....

Im not discusting im sensible...boys are full of disease and can give you rashes...of bacon...he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he....goodness me i gotta stop laughing or i will pee myself...dun that before...forgot...and got scabbies...so not a good idea....!

Leave me a message go on...you know you want to....

23rd of January 200 and 4
Dear Life,

Me is writing on the computer at this very moment in time...well actually by the time you be reading this then i most probably no longer writing!!! Unless by some fluke of nature then i am actually writing...but tis most most most unlikely! I am writing this letter to you life because i have something very important to tell you. The most important thing i have to tell you is that no matter how much i try i can't bring myself to eat EGGS. Its so strange, they smell nice but...sometimes they smell a bit discusting.the fried ones smell fabulous.

Well as you can tell i still no be able to talk about what i really wanna, mwahahahahahaha....you know what i mean! But hey well, never mind blah blah blah......

thank you for listening....you are indeed an angel!

Yours Faithfully,

Emma x we love you sanjay x

What an attractive looking cat! I feel sorry for it, it looks like it has been doused in some sort of acid...poor thing...yum yum...would be nice on toast!!! like cheese....mmm... i like cabbage!

This is a picture of me...but its not really because if i could write on a computer and i was a cabbage i would be worth more than a million pound....if i had a million pounds i could buy plenty cabbages!!!! and some aubergenes...and what a treat that would be. If me had loadsa money i would buy you exactly what you wanted...not you...yes you! So if you want some pictures of the gorgeous me...then all you have to do is hope for a miracle, because pictures of me never seem to be gorgeous...more freaky like the one on the left. I always look like a desperate cabbage!!!! But no im not a deperate cabbage...im more of a fesisty firey red pepper...and honestly peppers are no nice...BEWARE...PLENY OF PEOPLE ON INTERNET ARE FREAKS...ME INCLUDED. But i no elope with old men...mainly because im a lezzzza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahaha. Sorry lads!

Yes yes...Jodie Foster. If you know me you will be well aware of my slight admiration...love and lust for Miss J foster....Mwahahahahahaha...But i have to admit that just lately Angilena Jolie has over taken her on the polls of complete sexiness...because she is WELL sexy....mwahahahahahha...i will be the next tomb raider....!!! Mmm...well i just hoping that i can have the next tomb raider...heh heh! Come aboard the love train Ms Jolie...ya know ya want to...oh yeah! oh...yes how i would like to bounce up and down on them 'lasticy things with you...mmm....

love

Zena (with a Z) Warrior Princess!!!!!

x mwah x

And loads of my love goes to you super girl.....

you winking at me??????

Feeling...
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot hot hot

hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

FEELING....

Dear you,
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
Its all for you ill take you there.
love you (all of you)
Emz x

xXx