His father would have left for work by now, so there would be no problem from that quarter--Stefan somehow managed to open the door with his elbow before staggering inside and nearly dropping Brian. Stefan winced as Brian let out a whimper of pain. "Almost there." He panted. Brian clutched at the taller boy's shoulders as Stefan started up the stairs. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Stefan's foot found the landing. Sighing in relief, Stefan carried Brian the last few feet into his room, before carefully setting him down on his bed where Brian immediately curled up in a ball hiding his face.
Stefan stood still for a minute running his hand through his hair, not quite sure what to do. What would his mother do? "Right." He said awkwardly after a minute. "Um--stay here, I'll see what meds I can find." Brian twitched in response but didn't say anything. Stefan turned back around and frowned at the disgustingly messy state of his room. Kicking aside his dirty laundry, he made his way back to the hall. His mother had been into the bathroom to clean, so for once, Stefan didn't have any trouble finding what he needed. He grabbed the rubbing alcohol, rolls of gauze bandaging, several washcloths, and the bottle of pain pills his father was so fond of, tucking them under his arm. He then grabbed a pitcher that was sitting on the edge of the tub and filled it with lukewarm water. Biting his lip, Stefan trudged back to his room. He hesitated a minute before sitting down on the edge of the bed. He cleared his throat. "Erm--Brian?" The boy didn't move. "Brian, look at me." Brian brought his arm up to cover his face in response. "C'mon Brian." Stefan sighed. "Let me clean you up--please?" He waited a second. Slowly, Brian moved his arm away, turning his head slightly so Stefan could see his face, though he kept his own eyes averted. Stefan's breath caught in his throat but he forced a brave smile.
Stefan dipped the washcloth in the warm water. "Alright--um--this might hurt..." Brian didn't move. His heart beating slightly faster, Stefan began to wipe the blood off of the smaller boy's face. He watched Brian's mouth open as if to cry out, but he made no sound, his eyes clenched shut. As the blood came away, Stefan could see the skin already blue and swollen around Brian's temple. Pausing, Stefan dipped the cloth back in the water, watching as the water turned red. He picked up the rubbing alcohol and the gauze before looking at Brian. "You ready?" Brian nodded, still avoiding his gaze.
******
Somehow, Stefan didn't know how, Brian had managed to stay silent, as he had cleaned all of the cuts with the burning alcohol. Stefan knew how much it had to have hurt--Stefan put the rubbing alcohol back on the shelf and closed the cabinet. How did he keep the pain from spilling out? He'd never seen Brian cry, Stefan realized. He came back out of the bathroom and stopped at the sounds coming from his room. Well he was crying now. Stefan's first impulse was to go back into the bathroom, sit down, and turn the water on so he couldn't hear the moans of pain and the hiccups--Stefan swore softly and padded back into his room. Brian had once more curled into a ball, his hands covering his head as if he expected to get hit with something any minute. But now he was sobbing, shaking violently. He looked for all the world like a tiny child. Stefan slid onto the bed, and wrapped his arms around Brian. Brian seized up at first, but then relaxed into Stefan's embrace. He buried his face in Stefan's shoulder, clutching at his t-shirt in a death grip.
"Shhh." Stefan soothed awkwardly. "It's okay."
"St-Stefan!" Brian choked. "I'm so sorry!" Stefan swallowed.
"It's okay Brian--I--I forgive you." If he had expected this to calm Brian down, he was sorely mistaken. Instead, Brian started to cry even harder. Stefan shifted his weight, sliding his left leg around to the other side of Brian, so Brian was settled between his legs leaning against his chest. Closing his eyes, Stefan lowered his head on top of Brian's, feeling the boy's soft hair as it brushed against his cheek. He smelled faintly of citrus oddly mixed with the scent of sweat and blood. Stefan felt his hands move on their own accord--coming up to stroke Brian's hair; then moving down to caress his cheek. His shirt was soaked from Brian's tears but Stefan didn't mind. Brian sniffed and leaned into Stefan's touch as if he was starved for affection of any kind and not caring that it came from an enemy. Stefan pulled Brian even closer, letting his hands slide down to Brian's neck, tracing patterns against his white skin. He started in surprise as Brian's hands slid up under his shirt and then taking the initiative, planted a feathery kiss on the back of Brian's neck.
*****
Stefan couldn't take his eyes away from the back of Brian's thigh--somehow he had managed to get Brian's jeans off without hurting him, planting kisses down his stomach, and relishing the feel of Brian's hands entwined in his hair. But when he looked back up as his hands slid up between his legs, Brian had fallen asleep. Not willing to admit that he was disappointed, Stefan tried to pull the blanket out from under Brian. In the end, he had to carefully roll Brian on his side to get to the blanket, and it was then that he saw the scar. His mouth quivering, Stefan reached out with trembling fingers to touch the word 'fag' crudely tattooed in Brian's skin. The scar was slightly pinker than Brian's snowy thigh, so it stood out with sickening clarity. Stefan brought one hand to his mouth as if to stifle a gag. "Fuck." He choked. He remembered the day it had happened. Remembered it so well, it might as well have been happening at that very moment in time.
Brian had emerged from the shower, dripping wet, with only a towel clutched around his waist. Stefan remembered the way he had avoided looking at any of the guys, knowing that it could start a fight. He might have been flamboyantly gay, but Brian had always been intelligent enough to know to not flirt with guys in the shower. In his mind's eye, Stefan watched Brian cross to his locker but stumbled to a halt as a tall figure stepped in front of him. He could still see the look of surprise in Brian's eyes as he looked up at him--and was that fear? Brian had pulled his towel more tightly around himself and attempted to edge around Stefan, but Stefan had grabbed him roughly and shoved him up against the hard tile, causing Brian to squeak in surprise and what Stefan could only imagine was terror. Stefan could feel Brian shaking, and the way he flinched violently as Stefan yanked the towel away from his slim body. He had struggled feebly, his face pressed up against the freezing wall, but Stefan had held him down relentlessly, feeling the curves of his body. And then Marcus had come up laughing gleefully, holding the exacto-knife. The entire class had crowded around hooting and yelling, while Brian shouted and squirmed in panic.
He had twisted slightly and spotted the knife, his eyes going terribly wide. "What the fuck are you doing?" He had screamed, thrashing wildly. "Let go of me!" But then as soon as the knife sliced through his leg, he went deadly silent. Stefan had kept crushing him against the wall watching the blood ooze down Brian's leg. And then when Marcus had stepped back victoriously, Stefan had released Brian and he had slumped to the ground to the uproar of the crowd on onlookers--Stefan jerked his hand back from Brian's scar as if it had burned him. He was breathing heavily and his heart was racing. "Fuck." He whispered.
Everything was soft and cosy. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt safe like this...He was wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth, quite content--until he attempted to stretch, that is. Pain zigzagged down from his temple, to his ribs, and then to his shins. Brian's eyes snapped open, and he found himself lying in a strange bed, in a strange room, with strange arms around him. For a second, Brian was overcome with panic. Where the fuck was he? He could feel the strange person's hands wrapped protectively around his stomach, resting where the waistband of his jeans should have been--Brian twitched, his mind racing in terror, and then fire constricted his chest again. Brian jerked, overcome with a violent bout of coughing. The stranger stirred, his hands sliding up Brian's stomach as he stretched.
"Brian?" Stefan? Brian sighed in relief as everything came flooding back to him. He relaxed back into Stefan's arms. "Brian, are you okay?" Stefan murmured groggily.
"It hurts a lot." He admitted meekly. "But other than that, I couldn't be better." Stefan scoffed softly.
"Yeah right. There's a bottle of pain meds on the table next to the bed. I gave you some a while ago, but that's been..." Stefan shifted slightly, moving to see the clock, and then he swore. "Oh shit!" He said suddenly. Brian jumped.
"What is it?" He squeaked.
"It's nearly nine--my parent's will be home any minute!" Brian felt his heart sinking rapidly.
"Oh God! Ad my mom'll be freaking out by now!" Brian said. "I have to go!" He tried to sit up, but fell back stricken, with a groan. A second later, Stefan's face appeared over him.
"Maybe you should stay I don't think you could make it." He said concernedly.
"My dad'll kill me when I don't show up, though." Brian moaned.
"What if you called them to tell them you were staying over to work on a school project or something?" Stefan offered hopefully. Brian bit his lip, staring at Stefan for a minute.
"Alright then." He said finally. He shifted and winced. "Where's your phone?" Stefan rolled off the bed, stood up, and grabbed the phone from its perch on his desk.
"Here." He handed it to Brian and then froze as he heard the front door. "Shit. Um--I have to go tell my mom you're here before she freaks." Brian nodded and Stefan dashed from his room. Brian merely stared at the phone a minute, before taking a deep breath and dialling his number. It rang once--twice--three times--and then it was picked up hastily.
"Yes?" His mother's voice, thick with a Scottish accent, was laced with worry.
"Mum?"
"Brian!" He could hear both the relief and the anger in her voice. "Where are you? Where have you been all day? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? I had no idea where you were, and Gypsum came by asking about you..."
"I'm sorry, Mum." Brian sighed. "I--I got caught up with--um some stuff I had to do..."His mother went quiet.
"Brian what happened?" Fuck. He had never been a good liar.
"Nothing mum. I just realized I had to work on a--um--school project with a--erm--mate."
"What mate?" His mother demanded. Brian closed his eyes in exasperation.
"Stefan Olsdal."
"Brian--isn't he one of the bullies at school?" Brian mentally kicked himself.
"Well he was, but--um--I'm staying the night at his house tonight--"
"Brian, tell me what happened this instant! I know something's wrong. You always tell me where you're going right after school." She paused. And then in a pained voice, "Honey, why don't you want to come home?" Brian sighed. Somehow his mother always knew. Maybe all mothers were like that.
"I--um--I got in a--a fight." He said quietly after a minute. He heard the gasp from the other side of the line.
"Oh Baby! They beat you up didn't they?" Brian would've hit his head on the wall if he hadn't known that it would hurt. "How bad is it?"
"It's--it's not too bad..." Brian lied, wincing even as he spoke. "But you know how dad gets...I--I just didn't want to--disappoint him." Another lie. Brian couldn't care less about disappointing his father. But he did care about the state of his body, and he was quite certain he couldn't deal with another beating.
"Al-alright honey." He could tell his mother was fighting tears. "You rest alright? And I'll--I'll tell your father that you're studying." A wave of relief flushed Brian's cheeks.
"Thanks mum."
"I love you Brian."
"I love you too mum."
*******
Stefan leapt off the last step just as his mother stepped in through the door. She looked up in surprise. "Are you feeling better then, Stef?" She asked.
"Uh--yeah." Stefan glanced around the room. "Um mom, I've got a friend over--remember Brian from this morning?" His mother nodded brightly. "Well he's gonna stay the night. We're working on a school project."
"Oh alright. Have the two of you eaten yet?"
"No..."
"Wonderful! I'll cook you up some penne, shall I?"
"Yeah, I'm sure Brian would love that." His mother smiled.
"Alright honey."
"Thanks, mom." Stefan bounded back up the stairs. He swung the door open and found Brian wiping several tears from his cheeks. "You okay?" He asked somewhat awkwardly. Brian nodded, wiping more ferociously.
"Yeah. It's just my mum--" Stefan frowned.
"She's not mad?" Brian shook his head ruefully.
"No. But she guessed what happened." Stefan raised his eyebrows.
"Man, either your mom's psychic, or you're a fucking terrible liar." Brian laughed and then winced.
"Ouch--I think it's a bit of both..." He trailed off. There was an awkward silence.
"Um--are you hungry?" Stefan asked, running a hand through his hair. Brian shrugged. "Well my mom's making pasta." Stefan said gesturing to the door. Brian nodded and then hesitated.
"To be honest, I don't think I could even make it to the stairs."
"I--I could bring you some up?" Stefan offered. Brian smiled shyly.
"That'd be nice." Stefan scratched his head.
"Yeah..." He glanced around and then spotted the pills. "Do you--um--need some of those pills? They really help I think--they put you out pretty quickly." Brian blinked in surprise.
"What do you mean?" Stefan flushed slightly, remembering the feel of Brian"s fingers entwined in his hair. Didn't he remember?
"Nothing. I gave you the pills, and you fell asleep about fifteen minutes later." Brian wrinkled his nose and opened his mouth, only to falter a second later.
"Um Stefan?"
"Yeah?"
"How come my jeans are off?" Stefan's mouth opened to form a small 'o'. Brian looked embarrassed now. "I didn't--I didn't try to do anything to you, did I?" Now it was Stefan's turn to blink in confusion.
"What? No!"
"Good--sometimes when I don't remember something, it usually means I was doing something stupid..." Brian blushed.
"No you didn't." Stefan swallowed. "I--I took them off." Brian's eyebrows shot up.
"Really?" Stefan nodded. "How come?" Stefan averted his gaze, and Brian's eyebrows disappeared behind his side swept fringe. "Stef?" Stefan gazed at the ceiling. "Stefan?"
"I'm sorry Brian." Stefan said. "I--I just..." He trailed off. "You were so upset, and then I was holding you and you were crying, and somehow--somehow the next thing I knew, I was kissing you, and you had your hands down my pants..." Brian's lips parted.
"Fuck!" Mentally, Stefan kicked himself.
"I'm really sorry, Brian. I didn't mean for this to happen..." Stefan said desperately, but Brian was ignoring him.
"The best fucking event of my life, and I don't even remember it!"
"I--wait what?" Brian blushed again.
"C'mon Stef--I know it's obvious. I mean you've known for ages."
"Yeah, I guess...but don't you hate me?" Brian shook his head perplexed. "I mean you have to hate me!"
"I don't hate you, Stefan."
"Fuck, Brian! Why not?" Brian blinked at Stefan's sudden burst of anger. "Why don't you hate me?"
"I--I can't hate you, Stefan." Brian said laughing slightly at the absurdity of it all. I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable--I just can't help the way I feel..."
"No, Brian." Stefan said in exasperation. "After everything I've done to you, why don't you hate me?"
"Don't listen to Gyp." Brian said quietly.
"I'm serious Brian! I saw--I saw the scar." For a second, Brian merely looked bemused, but then realization dawned on him.
"Oh." He said softly.
"Brian, I'm so sorry!" Stefan blurted out. "I mean--I can't believe I did that..."
"You didn't, Marcus did." Brian pointed out.
"But I held you down--I let him!" Stefan sank down on the edge of the bed, hiding his face in his hands. "I held you--felt you shaking and struggling--but you never--you never once cried." Stefan shook his head. "You never screamed." Brian looked down at his hands.
"Sometimes you have to learn to internalise your pain." He managed. "Stefan I don't hate you. Maybe I should--but I don't. I can't." He hesitated a minute, and then slid closer to Stefan, putting his hand tentatively on his shoulder. "Besides, I think you've made up for it today." Stefan looked up. "Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't shown up? You saved me Stefan." A sliver of a smile spread across Stefan's face.
"You're resilient--you would have bounced back." He teased eventually. Brian grinned.
"Damn straight."
*******
Gypsum knocked ferociously on the door, every inch of her revving for a fight. If that prick had touched Brian...Gyp drew her hand back quickly as the door swung open, revealing a rather bemused woman holding a dishrag in her hands. "Yes?" Gyp blushed slightly. She hadn't expected the fuck-wit's mother...
"Um yes, I'm a friend of Stefan's--is--is he home?"
"Oh sure." The woman stepped back and pointed to the stairs, closing the door behind Gyp. "If you go straight up, you'll see the door right ahead of you. Door say's Stefan actually." She beamed. "He made the sign in wood shop." She said proudly. Gyp merely blinked.
"Ah right--thanks."
"Of course, honey." With that, Stefan's mom turned and bustled back off to the kitchen. Muttering to herself about crazy people, Gyp marched inside and up the stairs. The door did indeed boast a sign, reading 'Stefan' in block letters etched in some plaque of wood. Steeling herself for attack mode, Gyp pounded on the door. After a second, the door opened, and Gyp was face to face with Stefan Olsdal.
"What--?" He demanded before seeing her face. "Oh."
"Where the fuck is Brian?" Gyp demanded. "I swear if you've touched him, I'll kill you!" She didn't wait for Stefan to answer. "I know you did something to him--just to save face you selfish, fucking, buggering, bastard of an ass whole..." Gyp spluttered to a halt as Stefan stepped back to reveal Brian sitting on the bed. "Brian!"
"Gyp?" Gyp shoved her way past Stefan and was nearly ready to throw herself on Brian when Stefan grabbed her arm.
"Whoa, hold it!" Gyp turned furiously, attempting to wrench her arm from Stefan's grasp.
"Let go of me, you stupid--"
"You wanna kill him?" Stefan demanded. Gyp turned to look back at Brian and finally noticed the bruises, and the way Brian was propped up against several pillows.
"Brian!" Gyp squealed. "Baby, are you okay?" Brian hunkered down, half afraid that Gyp was going to launch her self at him.
"I'm fine, Gyp." Gyp whirled around to face Stefan.
"What did you do to him?" Stefan rolled his eyes.
"Gyp, leave him alone."
"Shut up, Brian!" Brian's jaw dropped.
"Why would he be in my house, if I had hurt him?" Stefan asked.
"Because he's an easy shag, even after you've nearly killed him." Gyp said angrily, putting her hands on her hips.
"Hey!" Brian said indignantly. Stefan threw his hands in the air.
"You're fucking nuts. Marcus and the rest got to him, and I carried him back to my house, because he was a fucking mess. Is that good enough for you? Or are you going to continue to glare and rant at me?" Gyp decided on glaring.
"Gyp, he didn't touch me!" Brian chimed in. "He really did carry me back from the school. You know how far that is? I couldn't make it, and Stef he..." Brian trailed off. Gyp turned to Brian, now deciding that ignoring Stefan was the best option.
"Are you okay, baby? Do you need to go to the hospital? We need to tell someone about Marcus and them..." Brian shook his head.
"No, Gyp. It'll just get worse."
"Brian you can't just let them get away with this--"
"Gyp, my entire body is on fire. I really don't care to repeat this experience."
"But Brian it might happen again if we don't tell anyone." Gyp pressed.
"Well then you'll just have to watch out for me then won't you?" Brian said with fake cheerfulness.
"Look Gypsum," Stefan said cutting in. "Brian needs to sleep, and you're aggravating him. He's not going to be able to recover if he doesn't get sleep." Gyp glowered at Stefan.
"What the hell do you know, Olsdal?" She spat. Stefan flushed.
"I took several Sports Medicine courses." He said. "I know how to deal with physical injuries. And right now, Molko needs rest. You also happen to be in my house." Gyp's mouth dropped open.
"You're kicking me out?" She gasped. Stefan rolled his eyes.
"I will if you don't shut up!" Gyp's mouth immediately snapped shut.
"Fine." She said after a minute. "I won't talk anymore." She turned back to Brian. "Go to sleep." She commanded. Brian looked from Gyp to Stefan and back.
"But I'm not tired!" He whined.
"Too bad."
"You can't tell me what to do--"
"The hell I can't!" Brian cowered under Gypsum's powerful glare.
"Ok fine! Jeeze!" Brian said settling back against the pillows.
"Brian where the hell are your pants?" Gyp demanded suddenly. Stefan rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"I thought you said you weren't going to talk?" He said sarcastically.
"That was before I realized he wasn't wearing any pants!" Gyp said furiously.
"They were too tight." Brian lied, lifting his chin. "I couldn't breath in them." Gyp glowered.
"You're lying, Brian."
"Yup. But I did just take a crap load of pain pills, so if you don't mind, I think I'm going to pass out now." Gyp blinked, and thirty-five seconds later, Brian had indeed passed out.
"Fuck, Olsdal! What did you give him?" Stefan shrugged.
"No idea. Hungry?"
