"Let me show you, baby." Stefan murmured, drawing Brian closer. "Let me love you." Brian bit his lip and fluttered his eyes as Stefan pulled him to his chest. It was as if the entire world had slowed down and gone silent for a moment. He could see the flashing of the screen from behind him. He could see the languid movements of the people sitting on either side of them. But over all of that, he could see Stefan's gleaming eyes. Brian swallowed.
"Ok." He whispered. Everything resumed its normal speed, and the noise from the screen seemed much too loud for Brian. The grin that spread across Stefan's lips nearly stopped Brian's heart. He leaned forward to kiss Brian just as someone rudely tapped the boy in his lap on the shoulder.
******
"I can't believe we got kicked out of the movie theatre!" Brian giggled, hanging onto Stefan's arm as they walked out into the cool night air. Stefan laughed.
"They probably wouldn't have kicked us out, if you hadn't started swearing at them, Brian." He pointed out, steering Brian towards the car. They passed under a street lamp, and paused next to a row of benches that sat across from the bus stop. Brian gave Stefan a mock pout and turned in towards him, resting his palms on his chest.
"Well, I probably wouldn't have sworn at them, if they hadn't interrupted us." He said, gazing up at the tall Swede. Stefan's lips twitched.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, that's so." Stefan leaned down and then paused.
"You're much too short." He said, wrinkling his nose. Brian frowned.
"What?"
"You're too short. I can't kiss you while I'm standing."
"Oh." Brian wasn't quite sure how to respond. "That was a decidedly unromantic way of telling me you were going to kiss me." He said after a minute. Stefan ignored him and placed his hands on Brian's waist. "Um---Stef, what are you doing?" He asked nervously when Stefan's grip suddenly tightened. Brian squealed as Stefan lifted him up off the ground and set him on the bench.
"Much better." Stefan said grinning. Brian laughed and put his hands on his hips, gazing down at Stefan.
"Yes, but now I'm taller than you." Brian pointed out. Stefan eyed him.
"Not by much."
"By at least a head." He observed.
"Honey, if that's the size of your head, give me some now!" Brian stuck his tongue out. "Unless you're going to put that tongue on my head Miss, I suggest you stop that." Stefan said sternly. Brian raised his eyebrows.
"And just what are you going to do about it, Sir?" Stefan moved closer and slid his hands inside Brian's jeans. Brian inhaled sharply, and his eyes fluttered shut.
"I'm very good at punishing naughty little school girls." He murmured seductively, his nails scratching across Brian's inner thigh.
"What--what are you doing Stefan? We're in public--" He gasped, attempting to keep his legs from giving out.
"This is payback from the theatre." Stefan whispered, placing his cheek against Brian's chest, and wrapping his other arm around Brian's small ass.
"I thought--you--liked--that." Brian rasped out as Stefan's fingers crept up beneath the lace underwear.
"Of course I liked it." Stefan laughed, tilting his head to gaze up at Brian. "But tonight, you don't get to be in control." Stefan's hand grazed Brian's cock, and the small boy let out a gasp, gripping Stefan's shoulders.
"God." He coughed. Stefan laughed again.
"No, I'm Stefan. But God works too."
"You're very presumptuous--mmfgh!" Brian's eyes snapped shut as Stefan started massaging him with his thumb.
"Ssh." Stefan commanded. Brian's legs were becoming weak--they were going to give out on him--
"Stef--" Brian pleaded. "Stef, I don't think I can stand up for much longer." Stefan smiled to himself. Thirty seconds contact, and Brian was his, melting into a puddle.
"Alright, baby. Shall we find somewhere a bit more private?"
"Please!" Stefan removed his hand and Brian lurched forward into his arms. Stefan caught him and let him down gently.
*******
"Are you sure they're not coming home tonight?" Brian whispered nervously as Stefan unlocked his door.
"Positive--and besides they wouldn't bother me, because I told them I had a date. Do you know how happy my parents are? They've always encouraged me to go out, and to get a girlfriend, so I think they'd be ecstatic to walk in on me and a girl."
"But I'm not a girl, Stefan." Brian said in confusion.
"Yeah, but they wouldn't know that." Stefan winked. Brian swallowed nervously. Stefan swung the door open and stepped back to allow Brian to go in ahead of him. Brian shuffled inside, gripping his jacket around him, and feeling very much the insecure teenage virgin. Stefan shut the door behind them, and peeled off his jacket, tossing it onto the table that sat across the hall. Brian shivered and glanced around. Even though he had been to Stefan's house the week before, everything seemed slightly different. Slightly more foreign--Stefan locked the door, and then turned to Brian, a small smile playing on his lips.
"You're nervous." He stated. Brian nodded, feeling too embarrassed to meet Stefan's gaze. "It's ok, Bri." Stefan said gently, putting his hand on Brian's cheek. "I swear I'll be gentle--and I promise to stop if you want me to." Brian swallowed and looked up.
"Don't worry." He managed, astounded that he sounded nonchalant. "I'll be ok." Stefan grinned.
"You want some wine?" A relieved smile spread across Brian's face.
"Yes please!" Stefan laughed.
"All right. You go on upstairs, and I'll bring you some--red or white?"
"Red, please."
"K." Brian watched Stefan turn and disappear into the kitchen, before starting slowly up the darkened staircase, letting his fingers trail across the smooth wood of the banister. He was so completely out of his element, that he didn't know what to do. Usually he was the slut--the one that knew everything there was to know about lovemaking. More than a handful of girls at his school could claim to have lost their virginity to the famous, or infamous, as the case might be, Brian Molko. But now, he was the virgin so to speak. Totally unsure, and not a little scared. Not of the actual sex, but of how foolish he would seem. What if he was completely inept? What if Stefan laughed at him? Brian pushed Stefan's door open and flicked the light on. His eyes widened, and his heart sped slightly.
Apparently, Stefan had anticipated his visit--the previous time Brian had been in Stefan's room there had been laundry everywhere. Everything had been one huge mess, with the impression that things might begin to moulder at any moment. Now however, everything was spotless. The floor had been vacuumed, the desk organized, and the bed made with noticeable care. Several candles had been arranged and lit on the edge of the desk, next to the bed, giving off a faint scent of cinnamon. But it was the object on the bed that made Brian's heart flutter and his cheeks flush. Resting on Stefan's pillow was a bouquet of crimson roses. Biting his lip and smiling, Brian removed his jacket and laid it over the back of the desk chair, before crossing to the bed and sitting down on the edge. Tentatively, he reached out and brushed the silken petals with his shaking fingers.
"Do you like them?" Brian felt the small smile on his face grow at the anxiety in Stefan's voice.
"They're beautiful."
"I wasn't sure if you'd want red roses, or pink--or if you'd want roses at all..." Stefan trailed off nervously. Brian hid his smile.
"They're perfect." Stefan moved into the room and stopped next to Brian, holding out the glass of wine. "Thank you." Brian said, touching Stefan's arm shyly. "For all of this. I--I don't think anyone's ever been this sincere before..." He trailed off, and Stefan grinned sheepishly. Brian took a sip of his wine as Stefan sat down next to him. They were quiet a minute, drinking their wine until Stefan broke the silence.
"How did you know?" He queried. "How did you know you were bisexual?" Brian cocked his head to one side.
"How did I know I liked boys, you mean?" Stefan nodded. Brian took another drink, thinking about the question. "I don't know. I just started noticing things--at first I thought it was normal, you know? Because I noticed both guys and girls--the way they walked, their mannerisms. Small things--the random, fleeting thought when I was in the shower after gym." Brian giggled. "I thought it was natural curiosity, but apparently not. I thought everyone felt like that, it didn't occur to me that I was one of few." He shrugged. "I mean, it just--kind of happened. It started when I was fourteen and I lost my virginity to a nineteen-year-old girl and--" Stefan raised his eyebrows.
"Nineteen?" Brian nodded proudly.
"Yep. German--couldn't understand a fucking word she was saying! She knew what she wanted, but I didn't. I thought she was asking for directions, and the next thing I knew, she was banging me in the loo." Stefan stifled a laugh. "I was hooked on girls after that, but it kind of spiralled off to guys too--I started wondering what it would be like, and then I just fell in love with them. What can I say?" He shrugged smiling coyly. "What about you? When did you lose your virginity?" Stefan scratched his nose, looking slightly uncomfortable and took a rather large swig of his nearly gone wine. "It wasn't with a girl was it?" Stefan made a face.
"God no!" Brian laughed. "It was with the captain of the basketball team two years back." It was now Brian's turn to raise his eyebrows.
"Well I guess I know how you got that position." Stefan smacked him playfully on the leg.
"It wasn't like that! At the time, I was really confused. I couldn't understand why the girls failed to turn me on, and why I could only wank successfully to guys..." Stefan blushed as Brian was overcome with laughter. "Anyway, Jack--that was his name--"
"Seems appropriate." Brian observed. Stefan flicked his unprotected thigh, and Brian scooted away. "Hey!" He protested.
"Jack had always kind of seemed like an older brother to me. He was always really nice, and took me under his wing." Stefan was quiet a minute. "One day, he asked me if I liked boys or girls, and I told him I didn't know." Brian cocked his head to one side, intrigued. "Then he asked me if I wanted to find out." The blush returned. "And that was that."
"Hm. Sounds an awful lot like a paedophile to me." Brian teased. Stefan glowered at him.
"Don't make fun of him. He was the first person I ever loved!"
"Oh." Brian went quiet, thinking this through.
"Haven't you ever known someone--someone that you would have given up everything for?" Stefan asked softly. "Someone that you loved so much that you would do anything for them?" He glanced away. "Well that was how I felt about Jack. But in the end--it all fell apart."
"What happened?"
"He graduated and moved away. We wrote to each other for a couple months, but then I realized he had moved on when he started talking about someone else he had met." Stefan shrugged.
"Well that wasn't an exciting 'how I lost my virginity' story." Brian complained. "That was a soap opera!" Stefan laughed slightly.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't able to live up to your expectations." Brian gave a loud mock sigh.
"I suppose I can forgive you." He said teasingly.
"Well if you don't, you don't get any of this." Stefan said smugly, gesturing to himself. Brian pouted.
"Well that seems unfair, doesn't it?" Stefan thought about it a minute.
"No."
"Well, why do you get to decide?" Brian whined.
"Because I'm God, remember?" Stefan grinned and pulled Brian towards him.
"No I'm afraid I don't--you'll have to refresh my memory." Brian murmured seductively.
"My pleasure." Stefan took Brian's glass from his grip and set it on the edge of the desk, before putting his hand on Brian's cheek and kissing him. Brian moved even closer, pressing himself up against Stefan's chest, and dragging his fingers through the tall boy's short hair. "Refreshed, yet?" Stefan asked, pulling back briefly.
"Not on your life." Brian said fiercely, diving back onto Stefan's lip with fervour. Brian's fingers crept up Stefan's shirt, pushing it up until Stefan was forced to rip it off. He caught Stefan's lower lip with his, sucking on it gently, before allowing Stefan to slip his tongue into his mouth. The sensation of Stefan's tongue moving around Brian?s mouth was overwhelming. Brian entwined his tongue with Stefan's, closing his eyes in ecstasy. Keeping up the motion of his tongue, the ex-Basketball captain, began to remove Brian's sandals with one hand. He grunted as the strap of the second got caught, but eventually ripped the shoe from Brian's small foot, throwing it away from the bed. Stefan slid his now free hands under Brian's ass and hoisted him into his lap. Brian giggled, but somehow managed to not break the kiss. His giggles however, dissipated and turned to a sharp inhale as Stefan's hands brushed against his inner thigh, delicately tattooing angel soft patterns into his skin. He moaned into Stefan's mouth, and wrapped his liberated legs around Stefan's back, while Stefan's hands crept higher at a snail's pace--much too slowly for Brian's liking.
He nipped at Stefan's tongue with his teeth to show his disapproval, and felt Stefan smile against his lips. "Patience!" He commanded, breaking the kiss briefly.
"I don't want to be pa--" Brian whimpered as Stefan abruptly grabbed his cock.
"Better?" Stefan asked smugly. Brian nodded pitifully.
"Yes!" Stefan smirked to himself and began to run his fingers gently up and down Brian's cock.
Brian moaned softly, pushing his hips further into Stefan's grasp. Stefan swivelled the two of them around, pushing Brian out of his lap and onto his back so that his head was resting on the pillow next to the roses. Brian's arm fell next to his head, and his dark hair fell in a halo across the pillow. "My angelic whore." Stefan teased. Breathing heavily, he unzipped the jeans and helped Brian wriggle out of them before letting his fingers trail along the lace of Brian's underwear. Brian gazed up at Stefan with heavy trusting eyes, his chest rising and falling delicately. Stefan continued the movement of his hand, absorbing the heat that was seeping through the thin lace. Brian arched slightly before biting his lip and falling back on the bed. "Off they come." Stefan whispered, receiving a half strangled giggle from Brian. Stefan's long nimble fingers slid the panties first down around Brian's hips, and then all the way to his ankles. Brian flicked his feet, sending the discarded undergarment twirling onto the floor. "Much better." Stefan grinned. He paused a second, merely gazing at Brian's semi-hard cock.
"What--what's wrong?" Brian asked nervously, his eyes opening. Stefan smiled slightly.
"Nothing, baby." He said, placing his hands tenderly on Brian's hips. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are." Brian blushed before moving his fingers over Stefan's jeans and attempting to unsnap them. Stefan moved his own hands over Brian's and plucked at the snap. After a minute, the two managed to undo it, and push the jeans down. They snagged at Stefan's hips for a moment, before Stefan was able to kick them off entirely. Stefan lowered himself slowly, licking down Brian's stomach, and coming to rest with his head between Brian's legs. His hands gently gripped the pale and fragile hips. He felt Brian spasm as he very slowly took his cock between his lips. Stefan took him in farther and gently, teasingly, ran his tongue up and down the length.
"Mmmfffffhhhh." Brian moaned. Stefan paused a moment to let Brian recover, before deep-throating him. Brian's hands found Stefan's shoulders and gripped them tightly. Stefan shuddered in pleasure, as Brian's nails dug into his tanned skin, consequently turning Brian on even more. He trailed one hand down across Brian's hip, tracing the jutting bone before moving his hand to caress Brian's balls. Brian arched his back, his nails digging farther into Stef's shoulders, breaking the skin. Stef moved his tongue faster in time with the movement of his fingers, relishing the sounds issuing from Brian's mouth and the way his chest was rising and falling rapidly. "Jesus Christ!" Brian moaned, the mere heat of Stefan's mouth threatening to send him over the edge. Too soon Stefan pulled his head away, causing Brian to whimper in protest. Stefan smiled evilly.
"Calm down, sweetheart." He said, sliding up for a kiss. Wrapping his arms around Stefan's shoulders, Brian pulled him down on top of him. Stefan slid his hands up under Brian's shirt, and then lifted it up around his head, tossing it aside carelessly. Brian shivered, slightly self-conscious, now completely naked. Stefan planted soft feathery kisses across Brian's collarbone, and down his chest.
"Oooh." Brian moaned as Stefan licked across his nipple, his teeth grazing the pink flesh. Brian's lips parted but no sound emerged. Stefan slid himself down further again, and gently pressed one finger against Brian's opening, watching the pale boy's face for his reaction. Predictably, Brian swallowed hard and tensed up. Stefan waited for him to relax before pushing his finger all the way inside. He waited for Brian to adjust, before slipping in a second finger. Brian winced a bit, but then Stefan began to move his fingers further inside, stroking him, and a hot swoop of pleasure rocked Brian's body.
"How're you holding up, baby?" Stefan asked.
"Fuck!" Brian yelled. Stefan stilled his fingers, and Brian bucked frantically against him urgently. "Don't stop, you sadistic bastard!" Stefan chuckled.
"Alright hang on." He gently pulled his fingers out and then rolled over, reaching under the bed. He rummaged around a bit, crushing Brian's lungs before re-emerging a second later, with a condom and a tube of lube. Kissing Brian, Stefan ripped it open, and began to roll the condom over his erection, before allowing Brian to massage him with the lube. Stefan's eyes flickered shut, at Brian's touch. He was in danger of losing himself for a minute, before Brian's giggle brought him back to his senses. "Hey, enough of that." Stefan said, slapping Brian's hand away. Brian stuck his tongue out. Stefan's tongue flicked out to meet Brian's for a fraction of a second, before he lowered himself down on the frail boy. He ground his hips against Brian's creating a delicious friction, and causing Brian to groan much louder than before. He thrust his hips up towards Stefan's needing to feel him closer against him. Stefan lowered his hand once more to Brian's opening, pushing his lubed finger inside, and then a second, and finally a third. Brian bit back a cry as the third entered, and Stefan had to pause to allow Brian to regain his composure. For several minutes, Stefan stroked Brian's insides, before withdrawing, and pressing his erection against the opening.
"Anytime you want me to stop, just say so." He reminded Brian gently. Brian shook his head, his forehead covered in sweat, urging him on. Stefan eased into Brian, stopping half way in, as Brian's eyes clenched shut as the pain forcibly made its-self present.
"Oh God!" He cried out, gripping the bed cover. "Oh God, it hurts!" He wheezed. Stefan smoothed back Brian's damp hair, laying kisses on every inch of Brian's skin he could reach.
"I know it hurts, but you need to relax for me. Go ahead and scream. There's no one here." Brian took him on his word and screamed bloody murder. "Feel better?" Stefan asked amused. Brian nodded, panting. "Good." Stefan pressed himself further inside and then stopped, letting Brian adjust fully. Tears seeped out from under Brian's eyelids. "K, here we go." Stefan pulled out an inch or so, and then slid back in ever so gently. And then again. Out. In. Out. Shock waves of pleasure began to build in Brian, and he gasped out a different kind of sound.
"Jesus, Stefan!" Brian moaned, and this time it wasn't from pain. Stefan grinned, letting his worry seep away. He pulled out and then thrust back in, Brian driving his hips violently upwards to meet him. Assured that Brian was enjoying it, Stefan gave himself over to the pleasure. Closing his eyes, he pressed himself down lower onto Brian and took the smaller boy's forgotten erection in hand. Brian shivered and then moaned loudly, as Stefan moved inside him at a faster pace, and began to jerk Brian off in the same rhythm. "Faster, Stef!" Brian cried. "Please! Go faster." He sure bounced back, Stefan grinned and increased his speed yet again. Brian thrust into his hand, thrusting up to meet him again and again, forcing Stefan into him at a ruthless rate. Brian's eyes were closed sweat glistening on his skin. Stefan felt the blinding pleasure building up, as his thrusts became shorter and more sporadic. "I think I'm cumming, Stef!" Brian gasped. "Oh God!" A second later, Brian shuddered, sending a stream of liquid across Stefan's hand. Stefan thrust into him, biting his lip. His growl became a howl as he followed Brian, and the orgasm ripped through him.
Stefan collapsed onto Brian and rolled off him, pulling him close. Their breathing harsh, Stefan pressed a shaky kiss on Brian's forehead. Brian's eyes flickered shut. "Fuck me, that was amazing!" He rasped.
"Why thank you." Stefan laughed, shivering. He reached down and pulled the blanket up, covering the two of them. "It was pretty amazing, if I do say so myself." Brian squirmed around until he was lying on his side facing Stefan.
"So I wasn't too terrible?" He asked nervously, resting his head on his elbow. Stefan grinned.
"Of course not. You were brilliant." Brian beamed. "Most guys take longer to adjust, but not you." Brian blushed. He dropped back onto the pillow, and cuddled up against Stefan. "You know for someone who doesn't believe in God, you sure talk to him a lot." Brian smacked Stefan playfully.
"Well, that was your fault." They were silent for several minutes, and Stefan was just drifting off to sleep, when he felt something wet against his arm. Blinking blearily in surprise, Stefan looked down to see tears falling silently down Brian's cheeks. Oh God! What had he done?
"Brian?" Stefan asked urgently. "Brian did I hurt you?" Brian sniffed and shook his head.
"No--no it's not you Stefan." He whispered. "It's just--who am I fooling? I graduate in a month, and I'm never going to see you again." Stefan frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm leaving Luxembourg right after graduation. I'm going to London for school. For a minute I was able to fool myself, tell myself that we might have something together--that we could have something." He hid his face in Stefan's chest.
"Brian, it doesn't have to end." Stefan said, trying to relieve Brian's crying, but Brian shook his head.
"Don't mess with me Stefan. Long distance relationships never work, and you know it. You said so yourself. With you and Jack--We'll graduate, and move on, meet new people, and never see each other again." Brian shuddered with unshed emotion. Stefan didn't know how to respond.
"Brian--"
"Don't Stefan. Just--just hold me, and let me pretend, ok?" Stefan pulled Brian closer to him and nodded.
"Ok Brian."
*****
