Luke had pulled the covers over them. They were both on their side, holding each other to fit on the bed. Alexis stared at his peaceful expression, then at his chest, rising gently with every breath. She tried to extricate herself from his arms without waking him up. He mumbled something incomprehensible as she slid under his embrace. She stopped moving, listening carefully to his breathing which hadn't changed. That blasted bed brought the house down as she slowly brought herself to a sitting position. She was reaching down to find her clothes when she felt Luke grab her arm.
"Don't go," he mumbled.
"I'm just going to the bathroom," she lied.
Luke's hand did not leave her arm.
"Bull. You were looking for your clothes. You're not going anywhere in the middle of the night."
"You left."
Luke drew in a sharp breath. "And what is this? Payback?" he said, sounding almost fully alert.
"I just thought you'd want your space," she said lamely, grateful that the dark was hiding his hurt expression. "Especially in that tiny bed," she added with a smile lost in the darkness.
He relaxed his grip on her arm. He wouldn't beg. He had his limits.
I didn't think you'd give up so easily, she thought ruefully.
Luke's hand moved to her bare back. She sighed as his fingers trailed down her spine applying light pressure. She had never thought him capable of such a gentle touch. The bed whimpered as Luke sat up to use both hands on her silky skin. Alexis melted like butter as his fingers untied every knot and warmed her chilly skin until there was no logical choice but for her to let go of the clothes she had picked up and surrender herself to him. She allowed Luke to gather her in his arms while he shifted carefully until he could be more or less sure they'd both stay on the bed. Her hair tickled Luke's chin but he ignored the minor discomfort overwhelmed by how wonderful it was to feel her warm breath against his chest. Her even breath.
Alexis' breathing lulled Luke to sleep. He was far from comfortable in the tiny bed, on his side, his right hand trapped under her but he didn't dare move. Her peace was precious.
It wasn't long before he lost feeling on his arm completely and he used his other arm to slide it from under her. He cursed inwardly as she stirred giving out a heavy sigh. But she simply changed sides, she had to be numb too. He stared at her naked back, vaguely visible in the faint moonlight. It was like a desert landscape at night. He caressed the skin with his eyes then carefully lay down fully against her letting his forehead touch the nape of her neck. Her hair tickled and it was still a little wet. She smelt like rain, the rain that was still falling outside.
He'd been awake for more than an hour, staring at the luminous hands of his bedside clock make their way from 6 to 7 a.m. He could now see the clock clearly. There was only one tiny window in the room but now that the sun had risen he could make out almost everything. The naked woman next to him gave out a small whimper. He stroke her hair gently.
Alexis kept her eyes closed. She could feel Luke's fingers in her hair, she knew she was naked in a small bed that creaked with her every movement still she delayed facing that reality. Luke had noticed the change in her breathing and the flutter of her eyelids. Finally she did open her eyes. The chipped ceiling was the first thing she saw, then she turned her head to the left, deliberately avoiding the man she could feel next to her. She stared at the bedside clock with some apprehension which subsided when she saw it was only 7:15. Her clothes and Luke's were all over the room. She remembered everything that had happened. At least the previous time her drunkenness had spared her some of the details but now her memory was crystal clear. She didn't have a hangover, how could she, she'd had nothing to drink, but she could feel a headache about to set and her heartbeat throbbing in her ears. She took a deep breath without succeeding to fill her lungs with air. At last she did turn to face Luke.
"So, it wasn't a dream," she said in a matter of fact tone.
"Are you sure you don't mean 'a nightmare?'" Luke drawled.
Alexis' eyes widened. "No, not a nightmare, it wasn't so bad," she said with a faint smile.
Luke didn't know what to say to that. He didn't even know whether he should treat it as a compliment or an insult.
Alexis threw aside the blanket then brought herself in a sitting position on the bed, keeping the sheet draped over her breasts. She carefully got off the bed, pulling the sheet with her and wearing it like a toga. Luke gave out a wry laugh.
"You ain't got anythin' I haven't already seen," he pointed out.
Alexis kept her rigid back to him. "I don't like to be seen naked out of context."
"The day after is very much 'in context', baby. And that is not the way to the bathroom."
She turned around, unblinking at the sight of Luke who had pushed the blanket off him, ignoring the cold in order to make a point.
"Direct me," she said simply.
"To your right. The blue door. There is a shower but I can't promise you hot water."
She was gone for quite some time. Luke got up and got dressed, shivering in the cold room then made his way to the kitchen.
Alexis followed the delightful smell of coffee to find Luke. She was dressed in the same clothes she'd had on the previous night yet looked completely different. She'd pulled back her hair, bringing out her fine features. Her face was bare, no makeup hiding imperfections… not that she needs makeup, Luke thought. Eyes a little on the puffy side yet he wouldn't win any beauty contests early in the morning either, or on any other hour of the day, to be honest. Her brown gaze registered some annoyance with his scrutiny. Her eyes were bloodshot, Luke noted with a tightening in his heart he fought valiantly to refuse.
"Your eyes are red," he heard himself say gruffly.
"I know. They're not too happy about the fact that I slept with my contacts on."
A perfectly logical explanation. Luke would be relieved if he didn't think it was a half-truth.
She approached him slowly. "I could use a cup of coffee."
Luke wasn't used to making his own coffee when he was with a woman. To make hers as well was completely unheard of. Serves you right for… fooling around with a Cassadine, he thought.
"How do you take it?" he grunted.
"Black, no sugar."
"I should have known," he said under his breath.
"How?"
"God forbid your coffee should taste good."
"I like it bitter," she said, more confused than defensive. "I want to feel the taste."
He set the coffee jar down hard.
"This isn't really about the coffee, is it?" Alexis said softly.
Luke took a deep breath. "God forbid anything should feel good," he whispered.
Alexis sighed. "I already told you it was good, what more do you want? Do you want me to rate it?"
"Then why were you crying in the bathroom?" he asked quietly, ignoring her sarcasm.
She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. The stinging pain made her wonder whether she'd still have corneas when she'd finally get to remove her contacts. "I told you… my contacts," she said wearily. "I wish I could cry, it would ease the pain a little."
Luke decided to let it pass. He carefully set Alexis' coffee in front of her avoiding her eyes. He didn't want to know whether she'd been crying. He didn't want her to tell him that she regretted what happened. He wished she'd simply drink her coffee and leave before he made an even bigger fool of himself.
Alexis took a sip. "It's good," she murmured. "Thank you."
Luke nodded. "Why did you come here yesterday?" he said thoughtfully.
Alexis raked her bottom lip with her teeth, staring at her hands. "I don't really know," she admitted.
"That's not an answer."
"That's all you're going to get. Why did you break into my apartment the other night?"
"I already told you. I wanted to know whether you'd been in on your brother's plan."
"You want revenge," she stated. "You want me to pull in with you against Stefan."
Luke shrugged. "We make good partners. Among other things."
"And you think that in my right mind, in any frame of mind, I'd do anything to hurt Stefan?" she said slowly. "Don't you know me at all?"
Luke stared into her eyes where hurt, anger and wonder were burning.
"You did the nasty with me. Twice. I guess you weren't thinking of your poor brother then," he spat.
Alexis set down her mug with unsteady hands. I was thinking of Stefan… I am… I was running away from him. She closed her eyes briefly, missing the regret that flashed in Luke's.
"Tit for tat," she murmured. "You screw my sister, I'll screw yours. You came a bit late, though, don't you think? And how exactly are you going to let Stefan know? Unless you plan on marrying me though I don't think your divorce is final yet no matter how hard Baldwin is pushing the matter." She smiled bitterly.
"Don't you turn this around," he said slowly, curling his hands into fists. "Sure you were drunk the other nigh. But more than willing. And yesterday… you came to me. So who's looking for revenge?"
"Yesterday," she said thoughtfully, his harsh words coming to her with painful clarity, "you asked me to find some other way of punishing myself, now you say it's Stefan I want to punish. I wish you'd make up your mind about my motive."
Luke forced his fingers to open and pressed them on the table. Maybe it would have been better if he'd let her leave at night. Pretended he was asleep so she could steal out. But his sleepy mind hadn't seen further than his need to keep her in his arms like some stuffed toy. What was happening to him?
She took a large gulp of her coffee, surprised at his silence. She could feel tension radiate from him, a tension that scared and excited her at the same time. Her conflicting emotions confused her. She took her bag and started looking discreetly around the large kitchen for the exit.
She stood up and spoke quickly, almost against her will. "Punishing myself or Stefan would not be the only reasons for me to sleep with you. Don't sell yourself so short." She grabbed her bag and luckily guessed the right door. She walked briskly through he wrecked club and went out by the front door. Luke stared at her straight back as he held on the large metal door to keep himself from running after her.
Alexis went several blocks running on her anger at Luke and at herself for what she'd blurted out. The morning air felt good on her face. She took a deep breath feeling a strange euphoria. She stopped dead on her tracks when she realized why.
"I'm sorry," both her and the man who had bumped into her from behind said absent-mindedly.
"I slept last night," she whispered.
"Pardon me?" the well-dressed man said furrowing his brow.
She smiled self-consciously. "I'm sorry, I wasn't speaking to you," she said softly.
How beautiful, he thought, then tried to correct himself but beautiful was still the only word he could find. Cheeks rosy from the cold and maybe also her embarrassment, high cheekbones, bright eyes… not a hint of makeup and she was no spring chicken but even her tiny wrinkles were beautiful. His name was William, he'd recently turned 40 and he was walking to his office. He was only a block from it, briefcase in hand yet he stood frozen in place staring at the black-clad slender woman as she crossed the road going in exactly the opposite direction. He even took a step towards the zebra crossing she'd just passed but stopped himself. He attracted more than a few curious glances as he shook his head muttering "Get a grip, Wil."
Alexis walked on, oblivious to the gray-haired man who would make it to his office ten minutes late. She was going home to change and get herself ready for court. She still hadn't abandoned all her other clients though Sonny's needs would lead to that eventually. It was only a matter of admitting it to herself.
The sun was out, drying the still wet roads and sidewalks. She walked on, feeling like a character in a musical about to break into song and dance on the street. It was one of these moments, it had happened to her before, a natural high, a rush of undefined excitement.
Wydenmere
Every single muscle on his body ached. He'd fallen asleep sitting at his desk, what did he expect? How much, he wondered. He'd started with wine and then vodka as usual… had there been anything else? He stared at the overturned glass. He reached to put it upright but ended up knocking it off the desk. The sound of shattering glass gave precedence to his monstrous headache over his stiff muscles. His mouth was lower in the discomfort scale, it felt as if he had eaten chalk.
The breaking glass brought Mrs. Lansbury in the room. Stefan did his best to disguise his sorry state.
"Breakfast is served, sir. I'll send Maria to clean up the glass."
She went to call the mousy servant. Stefan got on his feet groaning softly then made it to the dining room. His attention was drawn to the two aspirin Mrs. Lansbury had provided next to a tall glass of water. He forced himself to eat while he waited for them to take effect. Already he felt better just by taking them a fact his logic put down to the power of suggestion.
He'd be late for work, he realized that in the shower. He had no one to answer to but still he felt bad about it. Those things got around with lightning speed at the hospital and he'd rather not be the object of any further discussion.
The water soothed his aching nerves He rubbed at the base of his neck and lower, between his shoulderblades as far as he could reach. Fragments of the previous night flashed in his mind.
Alexis in a short dress and go-go boots, her waist length hair parted in the middle. His real memories were mixed and colored by the film of her graduation. She'd only been to that boarding school in the North of England - Stefan couldn't remember the name, it was some Hall or other - only for two years yet she had made lots of friends. Girls, chubby or slim, graceful or awkward, all in mini skirts, forever 18 in the 8mm film. Some of the girls' brothers or cousins since almost none of them had boyfriends were there though it was mostly Stefan's friends from his University that had provided the male interests. Particularly Stefan, dressed in an outfit he'd rather forget but also immortalized on film, in a pair of low-cut, close-fitting white bell-bottoms which had attracted a fair number of appraising female glances -and disturbingly also some male - and a shirt which would now could only be described as flamboyant but would have hardly raised an eyebrow at the age of glitter rock. No more than five seconds on film but years and years of teasing from Nikolas after Alexis had shown him the visual document.
Stefan had arranged the party. He had been popular then although he hadn't sought it. Once people around him realized the distance he seemingly kept them in was mostly due to shyness and to his ignorance of popular culture they'd laugh kindly at his naivete brought on by his secluded childhood and try to take him under their wing. At first he'd been suspicious of this affection, used as he was to cruelty and contempt. He thought people might want to come near him because of his family's money or his connection to royalty. Although the sad truth was that the Cassadine name wasn't well received in good circles. Cassadine money was more than welcome but Stefan could count in one hand the formal invitations he had received. So he had admitted to himself that people had wanted to be friends with him despite his last name rather than because of it.
And girls… They'd throw themselves at him. It's that wounded look in your eyes. Your seriousness. Your moods, one of them had told him. What was her name? He could remember her amber eyes, her porcelain skin and auburn hair and oddly her long-fingered hands. They had been lovers for more than a year but that was all he could remember, just fragments of her beauty. And not her name.
For most of Stefan's friends Alexis' graduation party had been the first time they'd met her. She'd often visited him in London and many of them had teased Stefan about the pretty cousin he jealously guarded from them. You Greeks and your honor. We won't seduce her, Stef. It's not healthy for a young girl to be only around other girls and her kin now that her body is waking up. David had meant well but he'd had to apologize for these words and swear never to speak Alexis' name again so Stefan would stop slamming him against the wall.
His closest friends had met her and had realized why Stefan had preferred being alone with her every time she visited. It didn't matter that they were also in the restaurant, it didn't matter that there was anyone else. In every way that mattered, Stefan and Alexis had been alone. Naturally they didn't ask to go out with him and her again. They learnt not to count on Stefan every other weekend and on school holidays. They knew he'd be off somewhere with Alexis and they would take it upon themselves to cheer up his miserable girlfriend du jour.
He'd taken Alexis aside near the end of the party to give her her present. This moment wasn't on film but he didn't need film to remember everything down to the last detail.
Flashback
She fingered curiously the thick brown envelope before opening it. There was a smaller creamy envelope in it and a plane ticket. Tears started running down her cheeks as she read and reread the letter of acceptance.
"When did this arrive?" she whispered.
"Yesterday."
She took out the ticket and stared at it transfixed.
"I'm leaving," her voice was filled with wonder. "But why only one ticket?"
"What do you mean?"
"Won't you come?"
"I don't share your fascination with the other side of the Atlantic."
She smiled. "I don't mean leave for good. Just until I'm settled in."
"Of course I'll come." He opened his arms and she fell in them so hard she nearly knocked him over.
"It's like a dream," she whispered. "I couldn't be happier. But I'll miss you…"
"I'll never leave you, little-one," he said hoarsely.
End Flashback
I'll never leave you, he'd said. As if he could leave her. How could Alexis not know the power she had over him? You're stronger than me, you've always been. These words… he'd said these words… He got out of the shower as fast as he could. He was breathing heavily, last night was coming back clearer and clearer. He dressed quickly, thinking, "Oh, God no, please no," over and over again.
He stared at the phone with trepidation. He knew, he remembered, it was only a matter of confirming his fear. He pressed redial and closed his eyes. He heard the phone dial and forced his eyes to open and stare at the screen. Alexis' number, his mind reported duly. Of course it was. He'd called her and rambled on her answering machine. He'd spoken for so long that a small beep had sounded signifying the end of message and of his humiliation.
Whatever I said was the truth, he thought simply. Maybe she'll call back, we need to resolve this somehow. He didn't recognize himself. All he knew was that he couldn't go on like this. Alexis had to see that it was not possible.
Coward, his conscience hissed. You want to draw her back in again. Put her life at risk, use her, deny her any chance at happiness.
He took a deep breath. I am a coward, he admitted.
He quickly brushed his hair and left for work.
Alexis greeted Francis with a smile and disappeared into the elevator. Johnny saw the other man's smile turn to a smirk when she left his sight. Johnny made a questioning movement with his hand.
Francis shrugged. "Looks like she and the stalker boyfriend are back together," he said casually.
Johnny gave Francis an icy look. "What the hell are you talking about?" he muttered. He knew that Francis always knew what he was talking about. Reynaldo and him always shared information and made it their business to know all the comings and goings. Apparently gossiping was not an entirely female trait. Just the other day Johnny had caught them discussing just how awfully long it had been since the last time he'd brought a girl over or since he'd last pulled an all nighter. He'd heard only parts of their conversation and they could have been talking about something entirely different. The matter had been on his mind a lot lately so maybe he'd misinterpreted some innocent remarks. But these comments about Alexis who'd been nothing but nice to Francis were not innocent.
Francis stepped back uncomfortable by Johnny's stare. "I'd better get going," he murmured.
"You're here to guard this place not to pass judgment on people's private life."
"Geesh, I just meant that we'd better be on the lookout for that creep again. I wouldn't like to have him camped out of the house in case things don’t go well. These things can turn ugly," Francis said defensively.
"Don’t be ridiculous. Ned Ashton isn't dangerous."
"You never know, Johnny, it's the quiet types who usually snap." He faked a yawn. "I'm beat. I'm off to bed. See you."
Johnny grunted in reply. Nosy p**ck, he thought. He'd been out that night. Not all night but fairly late. And he was willing to bet this week's pay that Alexis hadn't spent the night with Ned Ashton. Unless that was his twin he saw at the bar in leather pants all over a girl who looked barely old enough to vote. He'd been leaning on her as he staggered out of the bar one hand around her waist for support and the other inside her shirt.
Kelly's, later the same morning
"Lucky! Watch out! That coffee was steaming hot, man!"
Lucky leaned closer to his brother. "I'm sorry, man. Are you alright?"
"You nearly scorched little Nikky. Thank God my reflexes are fast."
Lucky stared incredulously at Nik for a moment then burst out in laughter. He started taking deep breaths until he managed to stop completely. He apologized to the pretty waitress who'd come to clean the mess he'd made. He'd gone as far as putting the stuff in Nik's cup of coffee but before Nik had had a chance to taste it, he'd knocked it off the table, pretending to be swatting a fly.
"I don't know how I could be so clumsy, Nik."
"It's ok, no harm done." He took a deep breath.
"Why did you want to see me?" Lucky asked gently once Nik's new cup of coffee had arrived.
"I haven't been feeling too well lately," Nik said awkwardly.
Lucky tried not to show how Nik's words had affected him. "What do you mean?"
"I…", Nik scratched his head. "My coordination is off, I forget things, I get confused and with Gia…" his voice halted.
"What about Gia?"
"She doesn't want to talk about it anymore, she says it's ok but it isn't. I… I attacked her."
"You did what? Nik, you must be joking!"
Nik shook his head. "I wish I was joking, man. The other night, after dinner at Wydenmere. I don't even remember everything but I know I hurt her," His eyes filled with tears.
Lucky felt his eyes sting too. "She seems ok," he croaked.
"I bit her. Hard. It was so weird, man, like I was looking at myself from a distance, like I had absolutely no control over what I was doing…" his voice broke. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. "So, I was thinking…"
"What?" Lucky whispered.
"What are your sessions with Dr. Collins like?"
"They're… ok". I'm bull****ting the good doctor. "He's helping me."
"Do you just talk or do you also do anything else?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, describe what an inkblot looks like, draw a bicycle… answer stupid questions like 'what's your favorite animal and why…'"
Lucky chuckled. "No, nothing like that."
"Good. Do you think he might be able to help me?"
Lucky shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know. He should, I guess."
"Would he have to tell my Uncle?"
"Last time I checked you were an adult, Nik!"
"Right, stupid question. Do you think he'll give us a family discount?"
Lucky laughed loudly nearly choking on his coffee. "I don't know. Maybe we should also take Lesley Lu and get three therapies for the price of two."
Nik gave out a rueful chuckle. "What a pair we make… I hope you're really joking about Lesley Lu," he added with a frown.
Lucky shrugged. "She worries me. She's very withdrawn. Our parent's divorce is hard on her. I guess a shrink might be a little extreme though."
"We'll see," Nik said thoughtfully. He patted Lucky's hand. "It helped me… talking to you," he said with a sincerity that tore Lucky apart. "Gia and I have been sort of avoiding each other. And… I didn't want to talk to Uncle, he's going through a lot right now."
Lucky nodded. He'd seen Nik's uncle under a different eye after his firsthand experience with Helena. He'd been tempted to share what had happened to him in the woman's hands more with Stefan Cassadine than with anyone else. Perhaps because under Cassadine's cool demeanor he'd seen a quiet urgency and true compassion. I've been there, the haunted eyes had told him as Helena Cassadine's son had offered him his help.
The mere thought of Helena made Lucky shiver violently.
"Are you alright?" Nik asked him softly. "You looked lost there for a moment."
Lucky fingered the vial in his pocket. She said she'll know if you didn't give it to him, a little panicked voice whispered in his mind. He shook off his brother's hand from his shoulder.
"I'm fine, Nik," he said simply. "Back off a little, will you? We look nothing alike, people might think we're a couple," he added in a stage whisper.
Nik stared at him for a moment with his mouth open. He turned discreetly to the right where two girls who had smiled at them when Lucky knocked over Nik's coffee were still staring at them curiously.
Nik felt his cheeks burn. He leaned closer to his brother and whispered back. "I think these two girls might already be thinking that." Lucky burst in laughter and soon Nik joined him. Now everyone at Kelly's was staring at them but they couldn't care less.