Alexis looked at the sheet of paper again, hoping it would change. She didn’t want to make this connection. She didn’t want to understand what it was so plain to see. They had been at the island of “Lafonisi”. They had been staying at the Cassadine Compound. Ever since Stefan’s coup it was a place he controlled, staffed with servants who were loyal to Stefan, who would be loyal to him to the grave. Large amounts of money had been forwarded to them recently. In this document that she wasn’t supposed to be reading it was clear as day. In a way, she had known before, from what Chloe had said. Helena kept them prisoners at Paradise Island, never showing up, never hurting them, more or less letting them escape when Chloe started to lose her eyesight again? That wasn’t Helena’s MO. Everything Alexis knew about the old witch screamed of this. Helena had been telling the truth when she denied having kidnapped Stefan and Chloe right before she pulled one of her disappearing acts.
She removed her reading glasses and rubbed her temples. A small moan escaped her. How she wished it could be a bad dream. She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to be reading a bunch of documents that Nikolas had gotten for her without knowing what they were. Stefan wouldn’t let her come close to important Cassadine documents. Her gatekeeping days were of course long gone. A tear run down her cheek. She bit hard on her lip to stop others from following it knowing fully well that if she started crying she wouldn’t stop. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth did not surprise her. She’d always been frightfully tolerant to pain. Physical as well as emotional. It was Stefan’s fault that Chloe was in a hospital bed, blind and fighting for her life. Her tumor had been left untreated for too long. Alexis hadn’t known Chloe for very long but she loved her kindness and heartbreaking innocence. What had Chloe gotten from the friendship? Helena had run her down. Stefan had kidnapped her to gain some insight into his sick mother’s head. Right after he had faked his death. Alexis thought back to all the nights she had cried herself to sleep and to Nik’s sadness. She hated herself because even guessing what her brother had done she was still happy he was alive.
GH - ICU
The heart monitor was beeping steadily. Stefan stared at the woman’s still form. She didn’t occupy much space on the bed. She was so pale her skin had become almost transparent. The woman who had been running around the island just a few weeks back now needed a respirator. He swallowed hard fighting to keep his composure. He felt eyes on him. Nurse Amy Vining? Barbara Jean? One of the Quartermaines? He didn’t turn to see. He’d shocked the whole of Port Charles more by his devotion to Chloe than by rising from the dead. He heard the door open. He expected to see Barbara Jean there to inject Chloe with some drug or other through her IV. There to tell him he should let the patient get some rest. As if comatose Chloe did anything but rest these days. He turned feigning an air of indifference.
It wasn’t Barbara Jean. He stared at Alexis’ black clad slim form somewhat surprised to see her there. He knew she had been visiting Chloe but not when he was there. He hadn’t told her he wanted to be alone with Chloe but Alexis knew him well enough. Wordlessly, she came forward and kissed Chloe’s forehead. Chloe didn’t stir. Stefan felt a sinking sensation to his stomach. There was something in Alexis’ eyes. It had been there for a while but somehow it seemed stronger. Alexis stared at him. She hadn’t uttered a word since entering the room. Stefan averted his gaze from hers.
“Any change?”
Stefan shook his head.
“I’d like to talk to you, brother.” It wasn’t a request.
Stefan felt his pulse quicken. His mouth was dry.
“What is the meaning of this, Alexis?” He tried to sound stern but failed.
“Not here.” She turned and walked away. Without protest Stefan followed her.
Somehow he wasn’t surprised at where Alexis led him. To his knowledge she’d never been there. She wasn’t supposed to know he’d given orders to close that room to patients. Room 666 where the brother he’d loved, feared, despised, pitied but never managed to hate had breathed his final breath. Stefan shivered in the cold room. He hadn’t been there in very long. He had stopped coming, afraid that Laura would find out. And then when she was no longer his concern he’d just fallen out of the habit. However, his order still stood. No patients in 666. Only the ghost of the former Cassadine Prince.
Alexis opened the blinds a little. The weak afternoon sun outlined her figure. Her back was turned to Stefan. He took in her rigid stance. Alexis knows, he thought. It was the only logical explanation.
Alexis turned abruptly from the window and faced Stefan. He could still see her at twelve. Her lean, tanned body, her yellow swimsuit, her wet brown hair cascading down to her back. And those mischievous brown eyes. Those had remained the same. But there was fire in her eyes now. Fire and unbearable sadness.
“Tell me again, brother, I want to hear it".
"Hear what?"
"How Helena kidnapped you and Chloe. How you rescued Chloe from Helena, big bad Helena who was keeping her away from her medication. Tell me that all this is true and that it wasn't all your doing. Tell me it is not your fault Chloe is dying."
"Chloe is not dying" he stated.
A bitter laugh escaped Alexis. " Lie to yourself Stefan," she hissed. "It's what you do best. Lie to yourself and to the handful of idiots who care if you live or die. You believe it yourself that Helena really did kidnap you. As if Helena would just let you have a holiday on Cassadine island, Cassadine island of all places, and she'd bring Chloe along whom she knew was dreaming through her eyes. I know Helena, Stefan! And I know the staff on Cassadine island only answers to you."
Stefan opened his mouth to protest again but found his strength lacking. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed burying his face in his hands for a moment. He raised his head again keeping his eyes at the back of his hands. He could feel Alexis' eyes on him but couldn't meet them.
"No more lies, Stefan," Alexis' voice was breaking.
"What difference will it make if I say it?" He felt Alexis sit next to him on the bed. She put her icy hands on his sending a chill all over his body and forced him to meet her eyes.
"Helena didn't kidnap you."
"No, she didn't. She killed me. She invited me over to her yacht to make peace… to drink to peace."
"She watched you drink and fall down. She came over to make sure you were incapacitated, then what?"
"How do you know all this?"
"Chloe told me. Go on Stefan."
"Andreas had betrayed her plan to me. She was going to use the same poison I used to give her… her stroke."
"Poison… the Cassadine weapon of choice."
"She'd used poison on me before but not enough to kill me."
"I remember. You were what, twelve? If Martha hadn't gotten you to throw up I don't think you would have survived."
"Do you remember what I'd done?"
"You'd hit Stavros."
"Do you remember why?"
She paused for a second. "He was drowning me." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to fight the memory. "Don't change the subject, Stefan," she said bitterly. "How did you know about Chloe?"
"I knew Helena wanted to kill her. When I found out why I didn't believe it at first but then I got her file from GH… I had a placebo made and stopped her from getting her medication. Then I lured Jax away and I got to Chloe before Helena." Stefan's voice came to a halt. He was staring away again. Alexis didn't force him to meet her eyes this time.
"So you saved her from Helena." The sarcasm in her voice cut Stefan like a knife. She saw it on his face but she was past caring anymore.
"I can't excuse what I did, Alexis," he said steadily. "Chloe seemed alright on the island. She didn't tell me that the blindness was coming back. And the doctors I had consulted had told me her tumor wasn't life threatening. She wasn't supposed to get hurt. Helena was a common enemy for us."
"Does fighting Helena excuse everything?"
"Did it excuse loosening a railing and sending an innocent woman plunging to her death?"
She drew in a sharp breath. "It's been a while since you last threw that to my face," she mused. "I didn't kill Katherine."
"The Katherine who had loved me died that night. When she came back she was just the shell of the woman I used to know and love."
She got up, pacing furiously around the room as she spoke. "Love her? Listen to yourself Stefan! You'd drop her like yesterday's garbage for a smile from Lasha. And Lasha you got in the long run. The Kat guilt trip doesn't work on me anymore. Chloe is the subject at hand Stefan! 28 years old, beautiful and kind, hooked to around 10 different machines," her voice softened, "blind, dying…"
"ENOUGH Alexis!" He'd put his hands up as if to shield himself from blows. It tore Alexis' heart as she remembered him as a little boy trying to defend himself against Helena or Stavros or more often jumping in from of her to save her from a beating."
She collapsed against the wall resting her back on its cold hardness. The urge to go over to Stefan and put her arms around him was almost overpowering.
"What's worse," she murmured. "All this anger… it's not just about Chloe. I'm angry with you for leaving me in the dark, leaving me to grieve for you. Chloe is dying and I hate you for it but at the same time I'm so happy you're alive I just want to hold you and never let got." She hit the back of her head against the wall. "And I hate myself for being so weak, for loving you despite everything."
Through her half closed lids she saw him kneel opposite her. She didn't object when he put his hands on her shoulders.
"Everyday I wanted to pick up a telephone and tell you I was alive. I couldn't afford to have Helena know. Your grief and most importantly Nikolas' grief had to appear genuine. I didn't want to put you in a position where you would have to lie to Nikolas. And you certainly wouldn’t agree to my plans for Chloe." He stroke her cheek softly. "You ground me Alexis, you help me think straight and I've always regretted the times I've shut you out."
She gave out a small laugh that sounded more like a sob. "I believe that's the best compliment you've ever paid me," she murmured.
Stefan leaned closer until their foreheads were touching. He tied his hands at the nape of Alexis' neck and felt her do the same.
"I'm sorry Alexis," he said in a choked whisper. "For everything."
Alexis buried her face at the side of his neck, breathing deeply as if trying to fill herself with the scent of him. He leaned his head to the side, his tears mixing with hers as their cheeks touched. They stayed that way for a long time.
Alexis was the one to break the embrace. She got up slowly and after a while Stefan did the same. She stared hard at him, fighting the urge to touch him again, knowing that if she did her resolve would melt away. She tried to drape herself in her anger as if it was a cloak but all she found was weariness and pain.
"After Chloe dies, I never want to set eyes on you again," she said simply. "You will be dead to me. You may not set foot into my house again, you are not welcome to my wedding and you may not ask anything of me again unless it involves Nikolas. I will not tell Nikolas what you did. I don’t want him to fall to Helena's clutches and I still view you as the lesser of two evils. I will not let the authorities or anyone else know you are responsible for what happened to Chloe. I'll leave it to your conscience to punish you. As elastic as it is I think it is already bothering you."
"Alexis…" he pleaded.
"WHAT? I'm being more than generous, don't you think? You get to keep Nikolas. I'm just the insignificant, bastard sister. The family is better off without me."
"You are my family, Alexis," he said gently. "I need you in my life."
"You could have fooled me…" She stared into the green pools of his eyes, shining with tears. One escaped, rolling down his left cheek. She kissed it without thinking taking in its salty taste. Her lips moved to his and rested there for a moment. "Take care of yourself, brother," she whispered hoarsely.
Stefan thought of stopping her as she left but did nothing. A sob rose in his chest and he fought it. Another followed it. And another. He heard a strange noise, the noise a hurt animal would make. It was a while before he realized he was making it. He dropped to his knees burying his face in his hands and simply surrendered to the pain.
Bobbie stood at the door of the room, the haunted room as some of the nurses called it. She could swear she'd heard voices but now there was no one even though the light was on. She pushed the door slightly to turn off the light. That's when she noticed a pile of black clothes on the floor. Intrigued she walked closer until a noise made her stop dead on her tracks. It was a stifled sob. She could now make out a man's - Stefan's - huddled form. In spite of herself, Bobbie felt a wave of sympathy rise in her. She wanted to go to Stefan and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. A purely sexual shiver also shook her body at the thought of touching Stefan but that she'd never admit to anyone, not even herself. However, no matter how many years had passed she still dreamt of his mouth and hands on her body. It'd always been lust, not love with Stefan Cassadine but she knew she couldn’t trust herself with him.
She turned around and walked away on her soft nurse's shoes.
Alexis drove aimlessly for hours before making it back home. It was past one when she opened her front door. Her features softened as her eyes fell at her living room sofa. Ned had a peaceful expression on his face as he slept clutching a pillow. His tie was loosened and he'd taken off his shoes. The whole scene had an unreal quality lit by the flickering candlelight. He'd set the table and waited for her apparently for quite some time if she could judge by how burned out the candles were. She brought a blanket and covered him. She placed a gentle kiss to his forehead then left to get ready for bed.
She had been staring at the ceiling for about four hours when she felt Ned joining her in bed. She abandoned herself silently to his gentle lovemaking and in his arms she was finally able to sleep.