“Stefan, you have to be honest with me,” Kevin insisted in his office. It was over 48 hours since Alexis had been transferred to the psychiatric ward at General Hospital. There had been absolutely no change in her condition. It was disheartening and discouraging. Worse, Stefan was being obstinate. At least that’s how Kevin saw it.
“Alexis’ past is her business,” Stefan said stubbornly. “I won’t break her confidence.”
“But you know what could be behind this catatonia, don’t you?” Kevin asked. He stared directly at Stefan. Stefan, for all his normal superiority was extremely uncomfortable in Kevin’s presence. He squirmed, his own memories threatening to overwhelm him.
“Stefan, please, for the love of God,” Kevin cried. “Alexis is suffering needlessly.” Stefan stood up. He walked over to the window, remembering Alexis, her childhood. She was one of the constants in his life. Finally he turned around. Leaning on the chair he had been sitting in, he tried to be as candid as he could with Kevin.
“I went away to school when Alexis was ten years old. Thereafter, I wasn’t in the house much, only for summer vacations. I never personally saw Alexis abused in any fashion that would lead to her present state. I can tell you that.” Kevin leaned forward on his desk, his eyes locked on Stefan’s.
“But?” He questioned further. Stefan closed his eyes. He came to sit down in the chair. He clasped his hands together, going over the past in his mind, each summer, each holiday. He had no difficulty recalling that first summer day he returned home, soon after Alexis’ fifteenth birthday.
“My mother used to beat Alexis, quite often, but you know that never stopped Alexis. I think she knew Helena wasn’t hitting out at her, but at something she couldn’t control. For all her pain, Alexis was always a bright and laughing child. She was empathetic, caring, gentle, but most of all laughing. She loved to laugh.” Kevin listened carefully. He thought of all the times he had seen Alexis. He seldom witnessed her uninhibited laughter. She was more solemn and serious. Stefan put his hands palm outward in his lap, looking down at them as if they were who he was talking to.
“That summer, Alexis didn’t meet me at the docks for the first time. She was always there. She went to school during the year too, but her vacations always seemed to start a week or two before mine did. I was 20 years old and thought maybe she was busy, although there wasn’t much to do on the island. My parents were on an extended trip in Europe, so it was going to be just Alexis, my brother Stavros and me. I didn’t look for her at first. I truly, truly thought she would come looking for me.” Stefan’s haunted eyes finally met Kevin’s. Kevin came over and sat in a chair across from Stefan.
“Did she find you?” He encouraged. Stefan’s emotions were written across his face, a mixture of helpless rage, of hurt, confusion and pain. Stefan shook his head.
“She didn’t come. I got unpacked, did all the usual monotonous things I did, and when I was finished realized she still was missing.” Stefan shook his head again. He took a deep breath, knowing what was coming wasn’t pretty.
“I looked everywhere for her. It was dark. Where could she go? I called her over and over again through the empty house. It was a large mansion, lots of places for someone to hide, but Alexis wasn’t a person to hide. She always faced everything head on, even my mother and Stavros. At last, I went to the nurseries, rooms that were long empty.” Now Stefan’s eyes were focused beyond Kevin, as if he were reliving every horrifying moment. Kevin waited.
“I found her in the nursery. She was sitting on her old twin bed, hiding against the wall, holding her legs together just as she does now. She was wearing a dress that was dirty and had blood on it. She was leaning back and forth. I had never seen her so vulnerable. She looked like she hadn’t had a bath in days, or brushed her hair or even moved much. I sat on the bed with her. She didn’t see me or so it seemed until she screamed and hid further against the wall.”
“I told her who I was, that it was just me,” Stefan went on, his voice filled with emotion. “When she finally recognized me, she flew into my arms. I hugged her, and held her while she cried. She admitted someone had hurt her. She begged me to help her take a bath, but she wouldn’t tell me who had done it. She never told me. Kevin, I don’t know. I have suspicions, but I can’t be sure.”
“Right now, it doesn’t matter who,” Kevin mused, going back to his chair. “What happened after that?”
“Alexis never spoke of it again. I tried to get her to talk with me the next day. She refused. Two days later she made arrangements to go back to school. She assured me I hadn’t done anything wrong, but she wasn’t coming back to the island again until she was in control. I think she’s been in control ever since…until now.”
“And you don’t know if she ever had counseling related to that incident?” Kevin asked. Stefan shook his head no.
“It helps, Stefan. I appreciate your candor. I can see how difficult it was for you to tell me.” Stefan leaned forward on Kevin’s desk.
“Kevin, I love my sister. I will do anything to help her. You tell me and I’ll do it. But this…this is private, between you, Alexis and me. If I hear it goes beyond these four walls, I will not be happy. Do you understand?” Stefan was every inch the hospital CEO at that moment. Kevin caught his drift, specifically aimed at Sonny.
“I promise what you tell you will be confidential.” Kevin replied firmly. Sonny had no need to know what Stefan had told Kevin. Stefan was right.
“Thank you,” Stefan said. He shook Kevin’s hand, then left the room. Stefan hurried to his own office. Once inside, he shut the door safely behind him. Tears ran down his cheeks as he sat at his desk, and buried his face in his hands. His story might have rung true for Kevin, but it was only half of the truth. Kevin would never know who had raped Alexis, not just once, but over and over and over again in a 48 hour period. Stefan still had difficulty stomaching it himself. He could only hope and pray that Alexis could get past this again, could recover, could resume a normal life. He couldn’t bear for her to be so destroyed forever. It just didn’t seem possible. He thought of the man he was fairly certain had raped Alexis. His rage knew no bounds as he remembered.
“Damn you! Damn you!” Stefan cried, just as Bobbie Spencer walked into his office.
*****
Alexis sat quietly in her room. She had refused to be more than minimally touched over the past 48 hours. She hadn’t had a bath. She hadn’t talked. She hadn’t eaten. Somehow she was tolerating the IV fluids that were going into her arm, but she couldn’t be sustained indefinitely on IV fluids. Sonny sat in a chair by her side. Her face was expressionless, something Sonny just couldn’t get used to.
“You know,” Sonny quipped. “If this is payback for that little scene I had a few days ago, you’re doing a good job.” Alexis didn’t respond. Sonny didn’t know what to expect. He held Alexis’ hand in his, trying to reach her anyway he could. He didn’t even know if she could hear him.
“Alexis, you can’t just sit like this forever you know. Sometime, you are going to have to face what’s eating at you.” Sonny’s voice was kind and caring, but firm. Alexis didn’t blink or move.
She heard him. Alexis heard every word Sonny said. She almost smiled at his last sentence. It was so logical. She liked Sonny when he was logical. She liked Sonny when he was emotional, funny, caring, stubborn, even mad. He was trying so hard, but Alexis didn’t know how to tell him, she was fine where she was. She was safe. No one could hurt her in this white, quiet world she had created. It was the best place in the world she had ever been. Nothing touched her, not emotion, not pain, not humor. Nothing.
“You wouldn’t like to squeeze my hand, let me know you are there, huh?” Sonny asked. He squeezed Alexis’ soft hand, gazing into her brown eyes. Then he picked up the brush on the bedstand nearby.
“Your hair looks like a rats nest,’ He informed her softly. “You always look like the proper lawyer. You wouldn’t like Stefan to see you like this, would you?” Sonny sat on the edge of the bed, a normal sized twin bed. There were no side rails on the psychiatric unit’s beds. He pulled Alexis towards him. She didn’t object, which surprised Sonny. Holding his breath, he ran the brush through her brown locks. Softly, gently, he stroked her hair with the brush, trying to get it into the fashion Alexis liked.
“You have pretty hair,” Sonny remarked as he brushed. “It frames your face perfectly when you do it. I’m probably making a mess out of it.” He continued to brush while Alexis’ eyes bore past him. After finishing, he put the brush down, then started to get off the bed. Alexis’ hand touched his. He looked down at the hand, then up at Alexis. Her brown eyes still appeared far away, but there was something there. Sonny continued to sit on the side of the bed, holding her hand, just as Kevin came into the room.
“Sonny?” Kevin asked. “How’s it going?” He came to stand by Sonny, seeing that Alexis still appeared completely catatonic.
“She let me brush her hair,” Sonny said proudly. “Then she touched my hand. I think she’s getting better, Doc.”
“That’s good,” Kevin encouraged. “I’d like to talk to Alexis now, if you don’t mind.” Sonny stood up. Alexis’ hand squeezed his tightly, and her eyes found Sonny. Kevin watched the exchange with sudden hope in his heart. He could see the anxiety Alexis was feeling at Sonny potentially leaving the room.
“Alexis,” Sonny started. “Kevin is here. He’ll help you get better. You know I don’t know much about psychological mumbo jumbo. Kevin, he’s the expert. I promise, I’ll come back, soon as Kevin’s finished.” Alexis didn’t want Sonny to leave. Kevin would ask her questions she didn’t want to answer. Sonny pulled his hand away. She watched him leave her alone with Kevin. Kevin saw how her eyes followed Sonny. It was a start. He sat in the chair by Alexis’ bed. Alexis laid back against the wall, her pillows making the wall more soft. She didn’t look at Kevin.
“Alexis, we’ve been giving you medications to help with the stress and the anxiety that I know you are feeling. I’m hoping that’s helping you deal with the pain,” Kevin began. No response.
“Pretty soon those medications will help you come back to reality, so that you can go home and do all the things you used to do.” Alexis blinked. If it was one thing she wanted it was to go home, but how much did she want to go home? Was it worth the risk?
“Alexis, I know you don’t feel safe. I know you’re afraid. Can you tell me who you are afraid of?” Kevin asked hopefully. He held Alexis’ chart, leaning forward to convey his interest. Alexis didn’t want to talk to Kevin. She wished he’d go away.
“Are you angry, Alexis? Is that it? You were pretty angry the other day. You haven’t done anything since then. If I brought in a punching bag, would you use it to release some of that anger?” Kevin made a mental note. Maybe if Sonny or Stefan brought in a rubber punching bag that they kept on the unit, that would help Alexis. It was an idea worth exploring.
“Alexis, no one is going to hurt you here,” Kevin assured her. “The man who hurt you is dead.” Kevin was a fool, Alexis thought. There was more than one person who had hurt her, more than one person who sought to destroy her.
“I talked to Stefan today,” Kevin informed her very tentatively. “He cares a great deal about you.” Alexis finally allowed herself to look at Kevin. Kevin took that as progress.
“He told me about the island. He told me that someone had hurt you there too.” Alexis’ eyes narrowed. This time, Kevin saw the anger surface on Alexis’ face. “You don’t like to talk about that, do you Alexis? But, the only way to help yourself is to talk about it. Alexis, someone hurt you a long time ago, didn’t they and now you’ve been hurt again…” Kevin’s words dropped off as Alexis drew all the way back. She didn’t want to hear him, didn’t want to admit he was right, didn’t want to deal with Kevin or the past or the future. Inwardly, Kevin was frustrated. He stood up, bearing over Alexis. As his shadow crossed her bed, Alexis gave a cry and drew herself all the way into the corner of the bed. Kevin quickly sat down. He leaned towards Alexis carefully.
“It’s just Kevin, Alexis,” He told her. “I promise, it’s all right.” But Alexis wasn’t buying his act. Kevin gave up. He didn’t know how to reach her today.
“I’ll come back tomorrow,” He told her. “Maybe we’ll make some progress then. I’ll send Sonny in.” Alexis didn’t move. Kevin left the room to find both Stefan and Sonny waiting for him. They were pacing back and forth in front of Alexis’ room. They stopped as Kevin came out.
“She’s better, isn’t she, Doc?” Sonny demanded first. “She responded to me.” Stefan stood next to Sonny silently, noting the grim expression on Kevin’s face.
“Alexis is making very slow gains,” He admitted. “We’re going to have to be patient. She’s in a lot of pain. Your presence, both of you, is obviously helping. If you can get Nikolas or anyone else she cares about to come down here, it could help. I’d like you to run any visitors past me though.”
“Fine, Kevin,” Stefan replied. “I’m going in to see her.” Sonny and Kevin stood back as Stefan brushed past him. Kevin looked at Sonny.
“I’ve got patients to see, Sonny. I’ll see you later.” Sonny sat back against the wall across from Alexis’ room. His heart was with Alexis. His mind was with Alexis. He wanted more than anything just to sit and hold her hand. Sonny Corinthos wanted Alexis Davis back. Somehow, someway, someday, they would win, and Alexis would come back to him. He wondered as he stood there, if his thoughts were only a pipe dream. But at least, Sonny thought, at least he could dream.