| Author's Notes: This is one answer to Kel's ''What If'' challenge. In this reality, B.J. was never in the accident. She didn't die. Maxie did because there was no heart for her. There is no Elizabeth. The true couple was B.J. and Lucky. It was B.J. whose heart was broken after the fire. I wanted to put Emily in here, but I didn't get her in. Darn. Let me know if you want a second part. In this story, B.J. is 16. I only aged her 2 years. Thanks for reading! Feedback can be send to: angelme2u2@hotmail.com Fleeting Hearts Port Charles Spring, 2000 Nikolas Cassidine stopped short of his brother’s grave. He wasn’t surprised to see her sitting on the ground, to hear her voice speaking to the empty air. It wasn’t the first time he had found her here. It probably wouldn’t be the last. Nikolas walked over the young woman and sat down beside her. She looked at him sheepishly. “Caught me again, Cassidine,” She quipped. “Me to,” Nikolas admitted. “Some problems with my uncle. I just wanted to run some ideas by Lucky.” She just smiled sadly at him, then looked back to the grave. “Lucas Lorenzo Spencer 1982 – 1999 Son, Brother, Friend Blossoming with Hope.” “I dreamed about him last night,” she admitted. “We were at his apartment…above the garage. I wanted him to make love to me, but he wouldn’t. He said he wanted it to be special. He said I was too young.” “You were,” Nikolas replied. “You were only fifteen, B.J. Lucky was right.” B.J. looked again at the headstone. “I loved him,” her voice cried in pain. “I knew what I wanted.” “So did Lucky.” Nikolas sighed. “He talked to me, you know? He admitted he wanted to feel you, to love you, to hold you close and never let you go, but he promised himself he would wait for you.” Tears formed in B.J.’s eyes. “Now it’s too late,” she said softly. Nikolas didn’t reply. He put his arm around B.J. and hugged her a little. She finally got up to go. Nikolas stayed put. “I’ll leave you two alone,” B.J. said. “Thanks Nikolas. You’ve taken me under your wing. Kind of like being my big brother.” “Well, if I can’t be Lucky’s brother, then I’ll be yours, B.J. We’re friends and I’ll always be there, okay?” B.J. nodded. She was a petite young lady only a little over five feet, but she was a ball of energy filled with sunshine and laughter. Her empathy for Lucky after Nikolas told him that Luke raped Laura had literally saved his brother, kept Lucky from running away. Before then, B.J. and Lucky had always acted like cousins, but from there, their relationship blossomed. Where it would have gone, no one knew because of the fire, the fire that had taken him away so completely. Nikolas watched his friend walk away, her curly brown hair cascading down her back. It was a tragedy that Nikolas truly felt every time he saw B.J. B.J. walked softly through the cemetery. She made another quick stop to visit her cousin, Maxie. Maxie had been gone so long now, six years. B.J. still missed her best friend. She sat down on the bench next to Maxie’s grave. Maxie knew all about Lucky. “It’s been a whole year, Maxie,” B.J. said softly. “A whole year without him. My mom thinks I should start going out with other boys. She still thinks what Lucky and I had was puppy love. Even your mom tells me I can’t mourn Lucky forever. But she still misses you. She’s lonely without you. So am I. What am I going to do, Maxie? How am I going to get my life back? I can’t live without Lucky. I can’t.” There was no answer. B.J. let the tears fall from her cheeks. Her life had been filled with tragedy. Bobbie had finally explained about Kawasaki’s Syndrome and the heart failure that took Maxie from them when B.J. was too young to really understand. Maxie could have had a heart transplant, if only there had been one available in time to save her. That hadn’t happened. B.J. never forgot her Uncle Frisco and Aunt Felicia’s devastation over the loss of their little girl. Now Aunt Felicia was married to Uncle Mac and they had a little boy named Connor, but Aunt Felicia often spoke sadly of Maxie and what might have been. Life was a precious gift, and B.J. knew better than to throw it away, but sometimes, life was so hard, and it wasn’t fair. B.J. was lost in her thoughts as she walked home. She knew her parents would be waiting for her. It was getting late. The sun was started to set. She looked around cautiously, trying to make sure no one was following her. Lucky taught her to always be aware of her surroundings. Her hazel eyes couldn’t detect anything out of the ordinary. Still she felt the hair at the nape of her neck tickle her as if it were standing on end. Still assessing the world around her, B.J. stepped into the street, only to hear a horn as a car barreled down on top of her. B.J. froze in horrified terror. In a second, she knew she was going to die. She closed her eyes and waited. From out of no where, a figure came running and pulled B.J. out of harms way at the last second. They rolled down an embankment and came to a halt. The car never stopped, but kept on going. B.J. hit her head on a rock, and lay where she had fallen. Her rescuer hurried over to her. “B.J.?” He cried anxiously. “B.J.” Slowly, B.J.’s eyes focused. She saw a young man with fine sandy brown hair, a lean muscular body that was too thin, and the most magnificient blue eyes…that could only belong to…B.J. knew it. She had died. She sat up. Quickly her arms went out. She pulled the young man to her. Her lips consumed his hungrily. It was so real. He started to pull away, to push her with his hands, but instead, he gave into her embrace. It was dark. No one saw them. He held her close, relishing her touch. Her body fit perfectly against his. His heartbeat relaxed a little, but he knew he was about to hurt her all over again. “B.J. no!” Lucky Spencer cried. “We can’t do this. B.J.!” Reluctantly, the young woman let Lucky go. She sat back, staring at him, her body trembling at the near miss, and at seeing him. She shook her head. It occurred to B.J. she wasn’t dead. She wasn’t even really hurt. But then…how had…she cocked her head and stared. “B.J.?” Lucky asked again. “Lucky? Is it you?” Her voice started. She reached out a tentative hand, her slender fingers touching his face. He felt real. Was he? Lucky sighed. “It’s not true. You’re not here. You’re a figment of my imagination, aren’t you?” Now her voice was wistful, filled with disbelief. Lucky took her hand in his. His hand was strong yet gentle in hers. “B.J. I…I…” Lucky’s voice was hesitant. He knew he should get up and go. If she hadn’t been in the street, he would never have made his presence known. He looked around as if someone were chasing him. “I mourned you,” B.J. accused incredulously. “You’re alive! Lucky!” Her wail set his heart to thumping. Quickly he grabbed her and pulled her up. Then he ran with her through the streets of the darkened Port Charles. Ran with her to the only spot that was ever safe for them, for them to be alone, the boxcar. In the field, under the sunset, Lucky faced B.J. She stood, her hands clenched at her side. Her hazel eyes blazed with confusion and anger. “Lucky, how could you?” She demanded. “How could you do that to me. I loved you! And you let me think you died.” “B.J., wait,” Lucky pleaded. “I can explain everything.” “Everything?” B.J. asked. She sat down on the edge of the car. Lucky pulled himself up and sat with her. He took both her hands in his and told his story while their eyes met in honesty and truth. “I was kidnapped,” Lucky told his girl. “by Helena Cassidine.” “You were kidnapped? By Nikolas’ grandmother?” B.J. cried incredulously. “You mean the fire…you weren’t there?” “They took me out before they torched the garage. B.J. you know I would never leave candles burning.” “I know. I knew it then,” B.J. mused. “But I didn’t know what else to believe.” “They took me to a house in Rochester,” Lucky informed her. “They kept me there up until I escaped.” “When?” B.J. asked. “Two days ago. It took me till this morning to get here. B.J., I just wanted to keep you safe, to make sure they didn’t go after you. But obviously they have.” “What?” “That car. I don’t think it was an accident. I think they meant to kill you.” B.J.’s face was horrified. “Because I’m your girlfriend.” “And everything to me,” Lucky intoned solomnly. B.J. smiled. “I’m not leaving you then,” She replied. “I want to stay with you.” “You can’t. They’ll kill you.” “We won’t let them. We’ll go away, some place they won’t find us. We could enlist Nikolas’ help, you know. He loves you so much, Lucky. He never got to tell you, but he’d do anything for you. You know that.” Lucky nodded. “Yes, he would. I believe that.” Lucky jumped down off the boxcar. He paced back and forth. “I knew I’d be putting you in danger. I knew I would but I couldn’t stand it anymore. Helena playing games with my mind was just too much.” B.J. was startled by the revelation. She joined Lucky, putting her arm around his waist. “What do you mean?” She asked. “What did they do to you?” “It doesn’t matter,” Lucky said ferociously. “It doesn’t matter. Will you come with me? Will you stay with me?” “Of course I will, Lucky,” B.J. promised. “We’ll have to disappear in New York or something. Your parents will freak.” “I know.” B.J. watched as Lucky paced. “We’ll have to work it out. We might have to talk to Bobbie and Tony.” “They’ll never consent, Lucky, never,” B.J. mused. “I’m only sixteen.” “I know,” Lucky returned. He pulled her softly, quietly, effortlessly into his arms. His blue eyes consumed her oval face, her tiny figure, her soft skin. How many times had he yearned to hold her in the last year? She was everything to him. He brushed her brown hair back from her face, cherishing her as he held her. “You are so beautiful,” He intoned. “I love you, B.J. I’ve always loved you.” B.J. didn’t reply. Once more, she let him kiss her. Their passion was so real, so electric, so intense, it was as if they were only one when they were together. They slid down to the ground, spreading their clothes beneath them to keep warm. This time, Lucky didn’t hesitate. The heat between them was too much to resist, and it had been so long. They needed to know they were there for each other, no matter what happened, no matter if this was the only time they had together. Lucky buried the nightmare of his kidnapping while he filled B.J. with all the passion he had suppressed as he waited for them to be reunited. Their love was a revelation of incredible triumph, of Lucky’s fight to be with B.J. at least once again. If she only knew what he had gone through to get to her. But he wouldn’t tell her. Instead he gave his soul to B.J., and she gave hers back in a love that was fleeting, but exquisite. When finally they were spent, Lucky and B.J. laughed and cried together instinctively knowing that it would be a long time before they could be together again. Lucky walked B.J. home. Seeing all the places that were home to the young man was painful when he remembered he could not stay. Despite what B.J. said, he knew he couldn’t take her away from the family that loved her. She was too young. They sneaked into the back yard so they wouldn’t be seen. “Lucky, promise. Promise you won’t leave me,” B.J. begged. It was as if she knew what Lucky was thinking. Lucky was uncomfortable. He loved her more than his life. “B.J. I don’t want to leave you,” He started. “Then if you leave, promise you will come back. I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait.” “How did you know?” Lucky wondered out loud. “I can feel it. You don’t feel safe. You’re afraid of putting me in danger.” “Yes, I am.” “They might still come after me, even if they know you’re gone,” B.J. said. “I can’t go to Nikolas. It wouldn’t be fair.” “Lucky,” B.J. cried, her emotions threatening to spill over. She had just gotten him back. How could she let him go. What if there were ramifications from their actions. She had to ask. “What if…what if…we didn’t have protection, Lucky. What if there is a baby?” Lucky kissed her. “I’ll be watching, never you fear. If you need me, put a letter in the boxcar. I’ll find it.” They hugged, this pair that couldn’t bear to be parted, but couldn’t bear to put each other in danger either. “When it’s safe, I’ll come back,” Lucky promised. “I’ll never leave you again, not willingly.” “You never did leave me,” B.J. whispered. “You’re always in my heart. Always.” They heard someone opening the back door. Lucky pulled himself away. This was almost worse than being kidnapped. B.J. backed up towards the brownstone, her hand waving as her mother called out. “B.J.? B.J. is that you? B.J.?” Bobbie’s voice called. B.J. waved to Lucky again. He waved back. She blew him a kiss, then seemed to tear herself away. B.J. turned to walk into the brownstone. It was taking all her courage just to walk away, to let him go. She disappeared in to the brownstone, leaving Lucky to hold himself back to keep himself from following her. She was home. She was safe. Nothing would hurt her if he just stayed away. Lucky walked away, walked away from the woman/child he loved. If she had been his age even, he might have asked her to run away with him. But she was only sixteen. She had given her very self to him, her identity, her beauty, her love. But he couldn’t take her away from her home, not yet, maybe not ever. But he held out hope. Some day, someway, they would be together again. It would be his dream, if only he could make it happen. |