The boys in Florida, February 2003 (photo by Julie Kersbergen)
I first discovered Kansas in my sister Mary's record collection sometime around Christmas in 1974. I was 13 years old and in the 8th grade...a "sweet child of innocence". I had been exposed to British Progressive Rock early in life due to my sisters' influence. Both Mary and Patty weaned me on Yes, Pink Floyd, ELP, etc., but I soon felt an even greater impact from American Prog! In the mid-70s, bands like Styx, who later turned to Hard Rock, and Ambrosia, who later turned to Soft Rock, were gaining in popularity, but Kansas quickly became THE major force in American Prog! I was fond of calling these three bands my "Holy Trinity".
Prog was very important to me because of my unhappy teen years. I was a social outcast, and music was my fortress and my balm. A fat, ugly girl with thick glasses and no self-esteem does not usually make the cheerleading squad! Also, I grew up in a remote Alaskan community where there wasn't much for kids to do other than drink, do drugs, and get pregnant, but I managed to "stay out of trouble" by staying home and exploring other, better worlds through my stereo. Kansas was there for me every time I needed to escape! I did have a few friends, but nobody seemed to share my love for my Holy Trinity, so I worshipped them in private...a solitary practitioner.
There wasn't much information about Kansas back in the early days, so all I had to go on were the liner notes and photos on the album covers. Naturally, I was attracted to Steve, but I also liked Robby. The violin was such an important and influential part of the "Kansas sound". I now consider Robby to be my favorite band member, but back then, it was all about Steve! (Read my special notes about both men on the Kansas Comments page.
When the Leftoverture album propelled Kansas to the fame they deserved, I couldn't have been more proud! I remember blasting that cassette in my very first car! The Wall hit me pretty hard as the lyrics described my life and my pain so well. To this day, it remains my favorite Kansas tune of all time! (That "wall" in my life still stands, unfortunately.) Leftoverture is still my favorite Kansas album, even after all these decades.
As the band gained in popularity during the late 70s, more information became available to this deprived Alaskan girl. I followed them religiously through magazine articles and snippets of television clips. I gobbled up any news that the radio DJs relayed. (This was long before MTV and the Internet!) Unfortunately, I was unable to attend any Kansas concerts during those years due to my remote location.
High school was a nightmare, but I got through it by relying on my Holy Trinity. When nobody asked me to the Senior Prom, I drove out to a nearby lake that evening with the Point of Know Return cassette and rocked out alone by the water. To this day, I still joke that Steve Walsh was my prom date
The Monolith album came out right before I graduated in 1979, and the band was enjoying "the pinnacle" of their success. Reason to Be instantly became one of my favorite songs, and I have honored this website with its name! It wasn't long after, though, that Kansas went through some tumultuous times. The 80s brought major changes to the band, and when Steve quit after Audio-Visions, I quit, too!
Now, I could be ashamed of the fact that I turned my back on one of my favorite bands, but Kansas wasn't the only casualty. My Holy Trinity was slowly falling apart, with Ambrosia evolving into a mellow pop band and Styx members feuding with each other and eventually breaking up. It seemed my special, magical world had disappeared, so I said goodbye to Prog altogether and embraced Heavy Metal
As a young adult, I did a lot of traveling around the U.S., but never was able to catch Kansas in concert during my journeys. By then, I was lost in a new world that numbed me both physically and emotionally. I was into Ozzy, the Scorpions, Dio, and Iron Maiden, feeding on the wild energy they provided.
Still a loner and an outcast, I married the first man who ever asked me...a big mistake, but that is another story. We lived in California's Bay Area at that time and enjoyed some good concerts (especially INXS at the Warfield in 1985, which I still consider to be the best concert I have ever seen to date!) Suddenly, I had a family, and I often found myself singing "Dust In the Wind" to my son Matt. I hadn't yet totally forgotten my old loves! I remember discussing my will with my husband and insisting that "The Wall" be played at my funeral! (and still do!) We settled in the Portland, Oregon area in the late 80s, but I'm not sure if Kansas came through town during that time.
In the early 90s, I was heading for a divorce, and a new musical sound was catching my ear...Alternative! So I said goodbye to Axl Rose and Klaus Meine and said hello to Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell! I also said goodbye to my marriage. The last thing on my mind during the 90s was Kansas or any Prog band. Even the big Styx reunion flew by without my concern. All that was soon to change!
Fast forward to the year 2000. My nephew Alex came to live with me and Matt that summer. As Mary's son, he had been influenced by his mother's music just as I once had so many decades ago. We carpooled to work in downtown Portland and he always insisted on playing KGON, the local Classic Rock station. I was reintroduced to the music of my childhood unwillingly...too many painful memories. The last thing I wanted to hear was Carry On Wayward Son However, it all soon started to sink in, and I was listening less to KUFO (Modern Rock) and more to KGON.
Then one day, I heard Point of Know Return on the radio, and suddenly, I was reduced to a blubbering idiot! All the old memories started pouring in like a tidal wave. It was time! I went out and bought The Best of Kansas CD and had a tearful reunion with my prom date! I began to purchase their early catalog on CD...I had long ago given away all those LPs and cassettes. I had also reunited with Styx during this time and was a regular visitor to several of their message boards. Because the two bands tour together so much, I followed a link and discovered a terrific website...www.kansasband.com! A flood of information was now at my fingertips, more than I could ever imagine! I had come full circle...I was a Kansas fan once again! (In fact, my Holy Trinity is now back in full formation, as I also recently reconnected with Ambrosia and their fans, too!)
Another wonderful place on the web is www.kansasfans.com, where I stumbled upon a group of tightly-knit fans called "Wheatheads". I enjoy chatting with these super nice folks online and try never to miss an opportunity to meet them in person. I now count some of them as true friends! Sharing my love for Kansas with other fans is quite a change from 25 years ago, when nobody in Fairbanks seemed to care. Now I can talk to fans all over the world!
In July 2003, a dream finally came true...seeing Kansas live in concert! After nearly 29 years, it was too good to be true! There was Steve at last, right in front of me, and Robby, too, and the rest of the band on a small stage in Medford, Oregon. It was a short set, but I'll never forget singing Icarus at the top of my lungs along with Steve! The icing on the cake was getting Rich's autograph after the show!
In October 2003, I was able to speak briefly with most of the band members after their show in Tacoma, Washington. Although we were not formally introduced, I was happy to be in such close proximity to them! Talking to Steve was a thrill from which I will never recover! Unfortunately, I missed the chance to speak to Robby, with whom I have become quite enamored, but I finally got to meet him at a future show!
"So much wasted time..." How I do regret the missing years! How I do regret turning away from them so long ago! So much has changed, yet so much has stayed the same! Once again, I am caught up in the magic and splendor that meant so much to me all those years ago. This wayward daughter has seen "a glimpse of home" and has come back to stay!
