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I have never really been the one to express my feelings very well but then again how do you explain how it feels to lose your baby. April has been gone for 10 months now and everyday is hard but then the birthday comes and I have been wishing that the day would just pass me by and that I wouldn't have to face it...but...as we all know that doesn't happen. We took our daughter Morgan to the park today and let some balloons go for April and while I didn't cry aloud for everyone to see I felt like I was about to die inside. I could see other parents having parties for their little ones and I couldn't do the same and it really made me angry but at the same time I was glad for them... that they were able to do that. I am just one of the many parents who have to settle for the little things in life. I never thought that letting a balloon fly loose into the sky could feel so good and bring some peace. My daughter asks me if I think April has gotten them yet and do I think she is looking down smiling at us, and as sad as that may sound, I am very grateful for these times and that this is not the end... someday we will be able to celebrate her birthday together but until then I will be happy to celebrate it with my family.
I miss you baby girl, Happy 2nd birthday!!!!!! |
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If I could,
I would be
the guardian angel
who is only a whisper away
From someone as special,
as caring and kind
as you've always been
day to day...
I would help ease
your troubles
and offer you hope,
I would help guide
the footsteps you take,
I would promise you
brighter tomorrows
and then, I would grant
every wish that you'd make...
But I guess I'm just me,
simply hoping you know
I'm so glad for the closeness
we shared
And though I have no wings,
I would fly to your side
anytime...
anyplace...
anywhere.
For my beautiful baby angel whose memories will never be forgotten.
Happy Birthday.
Love you lots,
Daddy
Hoping your alright "Pookie".
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