by: VanessaSky
disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard
distribution: my site, anybody else want, take, let me know you have
paring: b/a
rating: pg-13
summary: Buffy thinks
lyrics: Pink Floyd, Breathe /lyrics/
timeline: somewhere in the future
an: I was listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of The Moon (yes, I am insane) and just got the idea for this fic, hope you enjoy
feedback: Please, please let me know what you think
The early predawn light streamed in from the bay window that adorned the far left wall, yet Buffy was wide awake. Thoughts that never penetrated her mind during other hours of the day had free rein over her mind now, and she always found this part of the morning to be the most confusing.
Breathe, breathe in the air
Don't be afraid to care
Buffy took a deep breath and smelled the scent that was so uniquely Angel she just had to smile. A light snore escaped him, and she fought the urge to laugh out loud and wake him up.
/Leave but don't leave me
Look around and choose your own ground/
Her thoughts took her back in time when she didn't have his heartbeat to listen to. Even when he didn't even have a heartbeat, but the snore that was always ever present.
She never felt guilty over choosing him over them.
She had chosen them over him so many times, that after a while she was tired of living by their rules, helping them to live when the constant ache of missing him everyday was killing her.
So she left, and followed her own path.
/For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry/
Since they had come back to each other, everything had turned out for the best. The smiles that lit their faces reached their eyes, a place the smiles hadn't touched in years. The welcoming embrace they fell into each morning and night still brought at least one tear to Buffy's eyes.
/And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be/
Buffy finally got up from bed, and walked over to the bay window. The sky made a beautiful picture of blues, and purples. The day promised to be one of cheer and happiness, the life of so long ago that never had a promise of that was foreign to her now.
/Run rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to dig another one/
She still had the itch for the kill. Her spidey-sense still went off when vamps where around. They still feared her. It didn't bother them that now she was just one in a million, they still craved her blood because hers was the sweetest.
And after so many years of fighting, her body was still not used to the days where her biggest adrenaline rush was chasing Jaclyn around the house.
/For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide/
She walked down the stairs and peaked into Jaclyn's room. She was still asleep. She moved down the hall to Alex's room next. "Ma ma ma ma ma" Alex gurgled out. She was happy about the fact that now if he woke up instead of screaming until somebody came and got him he just yelled out ma ma.
"Hi babies, let's go make breakfast." She carried him into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. She looked into the dark orb's of her son's eyes, and saw so much of Angel there she just had to smile.
She put him in his high chair, and went about fixing breakfast.
/And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave/
She used to think death was an ever present door. You chose certain ones over the course of time, that soon the only one that would be left was the one that took you on to whatever awaited you.
And she thought all those years ago that when she fell from that tower that that was choosing the final door. And when she came back to this place she thought that the sweet oblivion she was pulled out of would never be matched.
As Angel came down stairs, and wrapped his arms around her waist she knew that was no longer true. This was heaven. Buffy sniffled a little bit, and Angel felt the sharp intake of breath.
"You ok baby?" His hold becoming tighter around her waist. She turned in his embrace to place a kiss on his cheek, as a smile graced her face. "Never better."
End
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