The Good-bye Girl by: VanessaSky disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard distribution: Want, Take, let me know you Have. summary: Buffy says good-bye paring: b/a rating: r spoilers; I want to say finale Chosen, but I might as well say all of S7. an: It's the night before the finale that I'm writing this. It's 2:50 AM, and I can't get to sleep. Here we go. Feedback: It hurts to write this fic because it is really the end of Buffy but if you let me know you feel this way too, I'll be relieved. --------- So this was it. Years of fighting, slaying, wining. And this is what I was left with. A hole in the ground. A hole that used to be the small town of Sunnydale. A town I used to protect with my life for seven years. That was what still hadn't registered. It was over. This was truly the end. I had lost some, sure war always had causalities. Anya was a shock I was not prepared for. Xander played it off in his usual way, but I could tell it hurt more than he let on. Andrew who had become like a stepbrother to Xander regretted that she was lost and not him. Dawn made it out just fine. Cursing the lack of mall to go shopping in. Giles did a very Giles thing and just cleaned his glasses. Faith held her new studly, and cursed him for making her feel anything for him at all. I thought it was cute. Willow and Kennedy just clung to each other. Too overwhelmed to really comprehend what they had just done. What Willow had to do. And Spike. Well, he was at the base of the Hellmouth clinging to the words of unspoken, unment love that had briefly passed between him and me. Although I did mean I loved him. He knew I wasn't IN love with him. He was grateful I said anything at all. I know there's things I'm supposed to do. Suppost to be feeling. But I don't feel anything. I lied to Angel when I told him I wanted to be a cookie. I don't want to be a cookie. I want to be a cookie with a glass of milk. Angel could be my milk. I should have told him that. But he did say he would wait for me. Or in his unspoken way he did. The way he always told me how he felt. We never really did need words. They weren't necessary. Necessary. What was going to be necessary anymore? No more evil to fight. Well, not here anyway. There wasn't even a here anymore. No home or job or life. I feel completely alone for being surrounded by my family and friends. For being surrounded by love. But I don't love or haven't in a long time. I'm sure I've forgotten to over the years. I've only really loved one thing in my whole life. Loved it so completely that I would die for it, kill for it. Have wanted to a great deal of times. I love my glass of milk. So this is the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I must admit I never thought this day would come. I had more envisionment of the day it would be over. Angel would be by my side. Willow and Tara would hold each other close. Xander and Anya would count their blessings, and hope for a better second time around. Faith and I would have reconciled our differences. We would be close again. Dawn would be attending college, and hopefully go further than I did. And Angel would be here. Unfortunately I have no one to hold me tonight while I cry and tell me everything will be all right. Even though I know it won't be. I have no glass of milk to dip my brand new freshly baked cookie life into. And I suddenly feel empty. I hear somebody ask what happens now. And for the first time in a long time I wish I wasn't so curious about the future. I lived for the moment before. I had my friends, my watcher, my love of my life. I didn't need anything else. But I do now I guess. I hope. Maybe I don't. I've said good-bye to a lot of things in my life. I'm the good-bye girl. It's what I do. Say good-bye, shed some tears. Try and move on, but you never really do. Your sick without the things you've said good-bye too, and no amount of rebuilding fixes that. It just becomes one big pile. Until that pile becomes nothing more than a crater the size of the town you used to protect. The world you used to have, that held the people you used to love. The places you used to go, and the mistakes you used to want to go back and fix. It all used to be the life that used to be yours. I guess I'll say good-bye to used to be too. End Click to Return to Buffy/Angel Index Click to Return Home read the sequal Got Milk?