Jasmine by: vanessasky disclaimer: joss whedon lucky bastard distribution: want, take, let me know you have paring: b/a rating: r summary: he left a trail of jasmine everywhere he went. even here. an: I just got done watching Shiny Happy People the newest Angel episode. Season 4. Anyway jasmine was a big theme in the episode and I thought back to a simpler time when angel loved buffy and buffy loved angel but he left her for her own good. Yeah you remember that bullshit line he told her normal ha! Anyway, here’s some quite reflection on buffy’s part while she waters some flowers. spoilers: Shiny Happy People well just the mention of it and anything after buffy S2 is fair game. feedback: please it’s like sugar and we all know what that does but don’t you wanna see me lose it like that again. well, ok i’ll behave but still please. enjoy!!! He left a trial of jasmine everywhere he went. Even here. He said once it was Angelus’ trade mark. Was a map of his carnage. Jasmine just didn’t grow anywhere. Well, normal jasmine didn’t. He said it also just sprung up wherever he went. Like it followed him. They never died either. I used to come to the mansion when I knew I’d see him on the other side of the curtain, and wait for him to come out just so I could watch the jasmine bloom. The smell is intoxicating. It puts you in the wrong state of mind. Would make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. I’ll look back now and pick out memories where I was never near it but the jasmine would always make itself known. I could smell it, but it was nowhere near. The first and only time we made love I swear I smelled it as though I where laying in it. When he bit me, almost drained me, gave me the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life, I smelt it. When I thrust back up against him and came, and there was that moment when I just knew we where meant to be I could smell the jasmine. Feel it on my skin. In my hair. On him. I’m getting of topic sorry. Anyway, it keeps me sane. Especially now, with the first, and Faith, and Spike, and just everything it’s nice. I still go to the mansion. Just to remind myself that this place will always be my Angel’s. Isn't it funny how I still think of him as mine. He's the only one that could make the jasmine bloom. It's everywhere he is. Everywhere that he was, had been, was in, has the privilege of smelling like jasmine. WIllow told me the jasmine is blooming almost everywhere in the garden of his little hotel. She told me it was almost like the garden here. But it was his. Smelled like him. Craved him. Is him. His own little hell. So here I am. Getting away from the mess that is my life, and tending to these beautiful flowers. The ones that remind me of him like nothing else can. He’s here still. And I wait for him sometimes. When I think this life I was brought back for is getting too tough. I’ll sit and wait for him on the steps of the fountain. Looking at the curtain that used to hold him inside during the day. And I wait. He never comes. And that’s ok. I understand or have for a long time now. He never goes back to the jasmine. It isn’t me or it may be, but for the one simple reason that jasmine is now my favorite flower. And because I keep it growing like wild in the garden of the mansion. And mostly because I don't smell like vanilla any longer, I know he won’t be coming back. He just may some day. But I won’t wait forever. I could. But hey I have other things to do. Like tending this garden. Saving the world. Saving Faith. Saving Spike. Saving Dawn. And Willow, Andrew, Anya, Giles, Xander, Robin, the SIT's, and me. I gotta remember to save me. I forgot to last time and look what happened. But I'll eventually get better at this thing called living. I've got time. And I now know just what he left me for. Because he left a trail of jasmine everywhere he went. Even here. Even in me. End Click to Return to Buffy/Angel Index Click to Return Home