Round 1
by: VanessaSky
disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard
distribution: my site, Amnesia, anybody else want, take, let me know you have.
paring: b/a, a/c, b/gun
rating: r
summary: Happily Even After seemed nice, but shit happens.
spoilers: years after Chosen and Home assuming that Buffy became a cookie and her and human Angel tried for that Happily Ever After.
an: I'm confused and I get hit with a new idea seems like every minute. So forgive the slowness of What It Was Before it will be finished soon.
feedback: It's what makes my world go round. Please let me know what you think.
I have loved him the same way for so long, I wouldn't know how to love anything else the same if my life depended on it. And that being said is enough.
I never ever believed he could feel any different either. We where always so sync with our connections, and the way we just knew about the other that I never thought anything human or otherwise could change that.
Until Cordelia Chase woke up.
Everybody said it was a miracle. In a coma for over 4 years, and not one sign that this was coming. A blessing straight from the powers.
Angel thought she hung the moon when she returned. Oh of course I was still around. But it was more for cannon fodder. I took up the space he needed to maintain his balance.
I was his link to the human world. She was his link to the mystical. I'll sometimes try to remember when everything changed.
It wasn't like it was a big hidden secret. I could smell her perfume on his skin when he came home and made love to me. I guess he wanted to wash her out of his system before morning.
Fucking her all the time must have been difficult. But a challenge that he was up to.
So, I thought hey two can play that game. You want to fuck your precious Cordelia. You little goddess can fuck Gunn til the sun shines. And I did. Whenever I thought that he might be seeing her more often I would step up my sessions with Gunn.
And what a stallion he is. That man could go for hours. But that's not the point.
Gunn never asked and I never said why we did the things we did. In some ways Fred cheated on him, so he and I related on that level. I wanted so much for the things that Gunn, and I did to be justified in some way.
But I felt wrong letting another man touch me when my heart still belonged to Angel. Oh sure, I still loved him. Even when I came home one night after being out with Willow, to hear him fucking her into the desk in his office.
That was what hurt the most for me. I never brought Gunn into our bed. But I am willing to bet Angel brought her there more than once. I went up to our room that night and calmly sat on the bed. I could hear them even all the way up in our room. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but that was a lie.
He opened the door, and stepped inside. He looked up with mock shock on his face. "Bu-Buffy what are you doing here? I thought you where out with Willow tonight." His voice wavered, and I wanted so much to believe that he hated what he did with her as much as I did.
I didn't say anything as I picked up my bag, and grabbed my purse. I was almost all the way to the door when he asked me the question I never wanted to answer.
"Are you coming back?" He seriously wanted to know if he could get away with this one last thing as I had forgave him for so many things before.
"Would you come back to me if I did all the things you've done with her?" I really wanted to know if we where switched would he take me back. If I started all this with Gunn, and he countered it with Cordelia. Would he take me back?
He didn't say anything, and neither did I as I walked out the door. I walked down the front stairs and out the double doors. I walked out of his life that night.
And I haven't been back since.
End
Main Page
Feedback