by: VanessaSky
disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard
distribution: Want, Take, let me know you have.
paring: b/a rating: pg
summary: Angel thinks.
an: I know I just wrote It's Been Awhile. And I know it was a song fic. But it seems that every damn song reminds me of b/a. I hear it's going around too. So this is a song fic, I know I'm sorry. I'm trying to make up for IBA.
lyrics: I'll Think Of Something by: Mark Chessnut. /lyrics/
feedback: You know you want to...to give it to me. Feedback, what was your dirty mind thinking. Please please let me know what you think.
--------------------------------
I was driving. Let's not ask where, and I won't say. We'll leave it at I was driving. So I was driving. Down the highway for no reason. I just needed to get some air. Not that I need it, I was just feeling to...caged. So I went for a drive.
Here I go. I'm driving.
I turn on the radio, because being left alone with my thoughts is not a good thing right now. Once again, let's not ask who I would think about, and I won't say. Every station has the same thing, and I find my self turning to a new channel every second.
"Are you looking for a car, truck, SUV, well..
"Autowash get your car care done for only...
"We sell the best mexican food around come down too...
Anyway, you get the idea. And the last station I turned to just had to be country. The music of pain. Well, in my opinion. This song is just ending when I hear the announcer come on.
"And that was George Strait with Nobody In His Right Mind Wouldn've Left Her..."
I begin to again think that this station is a bad idea. But then she comes on again and announces the next song.
"So now we've got Mark Chessnut with I'll Think of Something..."
Soft guitar music filled the car, and the guy began to sing. I should have changed the station while I still had a mind to. Now as this guys words wash over me I have no escape from my thoughts.
/I don't know how I'll get her off my mind,
But give me time, and I'll think of something.
I can't say, today, that I'm all right,
But by tonight, I'll think of something./
Why do I do this to myself? You know and I know as much as I don't want to I think about her I'm going to. It is too hard to move my hand from the steering wheel to change the song. Like somebody doesn't like me upstairs and I must listen to this song. It's torture.
/I'll find so many things to do,
That I won't have the time to think of her.
And then if she's still on my mind,
I'll try to drink enough to drown the hurt,
And if that don't work,
I'll think of something./
But I haven't been. This move, this new life I'm trying to find for myself. All I do is think of her. Drinking has not helped either. Trust me I have tried. Very hard. Even when I'm drunk and stumbling all I do is think about her.
/Where do I go for love that I still need,
Now that I'm free? I'll think of something.
And if someday, by accident we meet,
And I can't speak; well I'll think of something./
Now look at me. I'm trying to justify myself though this damn song. I do that and I do this. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to change the damn station, or better yet turn the whole thing off. I don't do all of the stuff in this song.
Don't say it. I don't all right? I don't. OK, I do. There are you happy.
/If I can't say a word to her,
I'll blame it on this lump that's in my throat.
And standing there what will I do,
To hide my love enough that it don't show?
Oh, I don't know,
But I'll think of something.
Well, I don't know./
I pull up in front of my apartment building, and just sit there listening to the rest of the song. I can't seem to find the will to turn the car off and go inside. Probably because once I go inside I will call her and beg her for forgiveness. I'll ask to come back to her. Pled with her to forgive me one last time.
/I don't know how I'll get her off my mind,
But give me time, and I'll think of something./
I just thought of something.
I pull away from the curb and get back on the highway. I'm driving again. Let's hope you know where and I won't say. We'll leave it again at I was driving.
Sunnydale 156 miles
Ok here I go. I'm driving.
-------------
Click to Return to B/A Index -- Click to Return Home