PARANOMASIA
 

at Cambridge I learnt to lie with elegance
to turn to advantage a narrow bed,
a narrower scholarship, sail close
to the edge of the fens but be careful
not to sink, fence myself with books
but be careful not to think.

I thrust behind the lowered guards
of several visored dons, merry maid
though every night and blackmailed
in the mornings, a soupcon of malice
saw me to success, I learnt to trade
more and more for ever less and less.

and now I am a don myself, whose duty
is to see each shuffling undergraduate
develop deviously, sharp their skill
at feinting, secure a neat pass or two
but above all forget those clumsy truths
that send them far, far beyond the edge.

a queen anne bed, a unique dresser
I teach my acolytes finessed in pleasure
for the untutored minute comes
the cold fens circling wait, styxward slip
our familiar quarters, point encompasses point
and there's an end to all our hauteur.