I have been a Bongwater Venus.
I have used my Welfare Cheque to scrape weed I hadn't paid for yet
into a rolling paper I had to borrow.
So I know the meaning of Down and Out.
I have been a Turntable Isis.
I have danced where I knew the DJ could see me
and I have excercised my abs before doing so.
I have glittered, I have boa-ed, and I have platform shoed.
So I know how to Party.
I have been a Lavalamp Madonna.
I have stayed up all night philosophizing with friends
about how we were all gonna make it big one day.
And I know the value of a Plan, whether it comes together or not.
I have been a Drinkin' Desdemona.
I've had Sex on the Beach, Cocaines, Blow Jobs, Orgasms, Fuzzy Navels,
and once
I tried a Long Sloe Comfortable Screw.
See, I know what it's like to Indulge.
I have been a Tabledance Diana.
I've accepted tips without using my hands
I've dangled upsidedown from the brass pole.
and I've sold my likeness but not my soul.
Because I know the Value of a Dollar.
I have been a Crackpipe Astarte
I have sucked that glass dick and sucked it hard.
I've gone 3 nights without sleep, thrown up in alleys
and done things I'm sure I don't recall.
So I know what it is to Hit Rock Bottom.
I have been an Ashtray Demeter.
My voice has been described as "bourbon and cigarettes"
but it's 5 years now since I finally butted out.
I'll never go back.
And now I know the meaning of Willpower.
I have been a Nurse Nightingale.
I have sat at the bed of a dying friend and held a straw to his lips for water.
I have felt the audible exchange of energy between our hands
as the Life-Force slowly drained from his body.
So I know what it's like to Lose a Friend.
I have been a Midwife Medusa.
I have been my own Doulah
and coached myself alone
through the labor pains of
delivering the child that died in my womb.
I have filled more bowls with blood and blackness than I will ever know.
But I've been Brushed by Motherhood
and the Spirit of my perfect little flowers will be with me always.
I have been a Witch Heloise.
I have sat in a circle of women and chanted
the names of the Goddess by the light of the Full Moon.
I have been healed by Her Prescence.
So I know the meaning of Religion AND Oppression.
I have been a Virginal Nimue.
I have quivered at the touch of a boy
and cried my first convulsing tears deep into his neck.
I've cried when he said he would call, but didn't.
The smell of cotton T-Shirts and muscle cars still takes me there.
So I've had to learn the meaning of Restraint.
I have been a Bellydancing Bathsheba.
I have shaken gold coins on my thighs and my ribs
and twirled with my veil like an invisible partner.
I have undulated for my own pleasure.
Because I know how to Rejoice.
I have been an experimental girl.
I have been all these things,
all these people,
all these women.
I have flown jet-settingly all over the world,
just to share drinks with
stranger than the likes of you.
Why?
Why do I run an hour on the treadmill,
when there's no-one to squueze MY rock hard ass?
And why do I cruch endlessly,
when there's no-one to cum on MY washboard stomach?
All for one simple reason:
to know what I was capable of.
to know if anything really is possible.
to know what it means to Live.
And I, friends and strangers,
tired as I may be,
am still
amazingly
alive.
Though bloodied in battle, I smile.
Because I've raved and I've vamped
and I'm sometimes still rocking.
And she who limps
is still fucking walking.