13/4/2009 - SLEKTWAG MASTURWANK GREAT KHALI MISTER KENNEDY THE ROCK OWEN HART WENDY TESTABURGER MORE NEWZ!
9/3/2009 - ZOMG added some of the greatest quotes in wrestling history and ever HERtory!
27/1/2009 - Finally remembered to add the Royal Rumble "preview" two days after it happened! NOT BAD. Life goes by so fast! I can't believe it was just ten years ago that I was ten years younger!
18/12/2008 - Four days later and I've remembered to add the Hot Newz Christmas Carol! HO HO WHORES!
28/11/2008 - Latest Hot Newz up! If you like it, email Scott Keith and tell him so!
27/10/2008 - Just an inevitable as the death of you and everyone you care about, Hot Newz is back!
15/9/2008 - OMG I'm still alive! Shelley Martinez is way hotter than Angelina Love!
29/6/2008 - Hot Newz for June! Now down to 0 replies and hardly any thread views on Wienerville!!!
26/5/2008 - ANGELINA LOVE, ANGELINA LOVE, ANGELINA LOVE ANGELINA LOVE, ANGELINA LOVE, AND TO A LESSER EXTENT VELVET SKY.
11/4/2008 - Update for April! Does anyone still read this geocities site? Who knows! Who, the short-lived gimmick of Jim Neidhart from the mide nineties, knows!
7/3/2008 - Update for March added! It has nudity!
10/1/2008 - A new year, a newz newz!
24/10/2007 - Right, I'm back again! You know, sometimez I wonder if anyone on the internet ever visits geocities sites anymore and even reads Hot Newz! Sure, I know FOR A FACT that I've got millions of fanz all over the world, it's just hard to imagine them all sometimes! Maybe if some of you EMAILED ME at HotWWFNewz@hotmail (I never got the F out!) then maybe I would know you exist! Which I know anyway, of course. LOL. So email me if you want or even if you DON'T want and are a hot chick!!!
16/9/2007 - Back again with Unforgiven SPOILERS which will ruin the show if you read them and also a house show report where I got to be the ring announcer and have sex with Layla El aftewards and I said "You were good in bed, but Christy Hemme would have been better!" and she slapped me!
7/8/2007 - OMG back with a special newzvestigation into the issue of STEROIDS in wrestling!
23/5/2007 - LOL I lied but dont' worry I'll stop writing Hot Newz eventually because some day I will die and so will you! Probably not on the same day though!!!!! That would be SPOOKY especially if you are a hot chick! Anyway, read Hot Newz and enjoy it while you can because life is short and there is no afterlife and anyone who believes in God is kidding themself because they have to believe there's some order and justice to the universe or else they'll go MIZZAD!
31/3/2007 - WrestleMania 23 special plus find out if this is the END of Hot Newz! SPOILER: Yes, it is the end. I'm done. Never coming back. Bye!
4/2/2007 - Finally finished the top one hundred! No it wasnt Spike Dudley at number one, you have to read to find out who it was you lazy tubs of lard! I think it is probably the greatest top 1000 in teh history of wrestling and if you don't like it, BITE IT! Anyway I'll be back soon with WrestleMania 14 newz for y'all so look forward to that!
18/1/2007 - Hizzappy new(z) year again! The top 100 is ROLLIN ROLLLIN ROLLIN on and there's just one more part left after this one so read this one and then there's only one more part left after this one if you read this one! Who will be number one!? Will it be a GREAT number ONE? Will it be a PEOPLE'S number one? or will it be spike dudley!?!?!
27/12/2006 - The top 100 continues on EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE and I know y'all are excited about it and want to know who number one is well it'll be back next year after some NEW YEAR/NEW NEWZ newz so see you then lol!!! By the way have any of u noticed that English actress Keira Knightley is HOT? I had to check to make sure she really was English because she's so hot but she is so I give her permission to marry me!
6/12/2006 - The top 100 keeps ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' on, brother!
5/10/2006 - Back again after a long hot summer (so long and hot it went into September!) of fun and games (sex games) with the first part of my epic, ground-breaking, IWC changing top 100 wrestlers of all time SO YOU BETTER READ IT.
5/6/2006 - Back wit a Summer previw to keep you all busy over summer, you can reread it as many times as you want I don't mind at all! Oh by the way TNA SUX LOL I Was joking when I sadi ti's better than WWE because it isn't and if yu ain't down with that then SUCK MY TOES as Owen Hart once said! Yes he really did and the first person to remember when wins a date with my sister!
27/5/2006 - asdlgjasklgklasjkldghjklasg
22/2/2006 - OMG finally back n 2006 and YES I'm only covering TNA FROM NOW ON so if you don't liek I got one word for you: tough, pal! And I'm still covering WWE a little but it's so little that it doesn't even count as covering it OKAY? BACK SOON LOL!
21/12/2005 - Back one again with the Chrimtas specila and an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMNET so READ the latest update you queers and I'll see you next year and have a MERRY AND PIPPIN Christmas!
21/9/2005 - OMG, finally added the latest Newz to the Archive!!! Sorrys it's so late I was too busy haveing sex with my girlfriend!!!! And your girlfriend too jk lol!!! Anyway, if you want to see ppv perviews BEFORE da show make sure to visit The W!!! And if I havent posted one its because of a SEXUAL emergency!!!! MORE NEWZ IN THE 'TURE IF YOU U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (SEE BELOW IF YOU DONT, IT MEANS "FUTURE"), DOODZ!!!!!!
1/9/2005 - Back at last1!!! You can read what happned in my latest hot update! UNLESS YOU CANT READ! In whcih case, why are you on my site if you can't read? Doesnt make much sense, really! MORE NEWZ SOMETIME IN THE 'TURE WHICH MEANS "FUTURE" BY THE WAY!
3/4/2005 - WRESTLEMANIA!!!!!!!!!
14/3/2005 - Well Im back agai..LITA AND EDGE, LITA AND EDGE, LITA AND EDGE, LITA AND EDG ELT LITA NA DEDGE ELITA LITE AND ADED LITA AND EDGE LITE, LITEA NA DEDG BY GAWD KING THE SHIT'S HIT THE FAN MAY JESUS HAVE MERCY ON THEIR SOULS BECASUE I DAMN SURE WOULDN'T!!!!!!!1
7/3/2005 - LITA AND EDGE LITA AND EDGE, LITA AND EDGE EDGE AND LTIA, LITA TEDGE AND EDGE LITA NAD EDGE EDGE LAITA DLKSA L ASL ELITA LITA EAND EDGE LITA AND EDGE LITA AND EDGE OMG FOM OMG OMGO MG OMG OMGO GOMGO G GMOG MGO LITA AN DEDG!123$%^&*(ELITA LNTA N AND LITE EDGE AND LITA EDGE AND LITEA LOMG !1111ty:! EDGE AND LTIA LITA AND EDGE!111111
28/2/2005 - OPMFG I am back now with WEEKLY updates that's right WEEKLY that means I'll be updating EVERY SINGLE WEEK and if i ever miss a week that means I'm GAY so I never iwll and also by teh way I'm a bit edrudnk like rihgt nowo lol l omg I've never df df drudnk dso mucdhsg alchokol and begheer in my life and vodka dnsg adn coke and sdrugs we did drugs too nad I have sex with a girlll and she wis sexy omh g so I'm going tright now buto bed you bastrd becuase ill have a hangover in teh morning BRB!
19/1/2005 - OMFG back once again for the new year (and YES I got drizzunk off my ass on new years thanx for asking!!!) with my special booking of 2005! And this is becaue letz face it WWE sucks now and TNA sux too probably and it's on when everyone's at school so they cant see it even if it doesnt! So read my version of 205 and WEEP because u know the year is never EEEEEEEEVER going to be that good agayne! Back soon with more Hot Newz and an interview with Chyna (unless she dies! Or refuses to be interviewd). LOL!
23/10/2004 - Back again just in tizzime for the GRATEST day of da year, TOY DAY! Or rather XMAS if your a religious type! I'm getting the ECW, Benoit, Eddie, Rey, Ric Flair and Bret Hart DVDs as well as One Night In Chyna because I heard Chyna's off the roids and is HOT now! Merry Christmas too all my readers and haters (AND THERE'S LOTZ OF THEM!) and have a happy new year and dont get too drizzunk (that's my job, ROTFLMAO!)!!!!
3/10/2004 - Back again with a No Mercy preveiw which has as alwayz proven to be 100 per cent correct as usual!!!!! And I know I said I'd tell u all about how my wrestling career has bee4n going but...I LIED! My wrestling trainer (Not Al Snow before you email me!) has said that with Brock Lesner leaving wrestling to become a shitty football I could become the "next big bang" just like Brock was supposed to be! So I cant tell you all who I am on the indy scene in case of my crazed fans comes and kills me or breaks my leg or something! SO SORRY! But mabye I'll write an autobrigraphy one day and you'll all know the truth! Until then...SUCK ON IT LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
8/9/2004 - FINALLY THE NEWZ HAS COME BACK...HOME!!!!!!!1 LOL, did you bumsuckers (Brit slang!) really think that Hot NEwz would leave teh internet? The internet is Hot Newz's hot home and Hot Newz always cums (lol) home! And I have a new girlfriend and she LIKES WRESTLING!!!!! She is a bit of a dumb mark, but I forced her to watch the Jap Cup 94 and she loved it! She's a great Sasucky mark now! SHe thinks he has a hot ass! Which is just a joke she made because she only has eyes for me, doodz, so don't even THINK about trying to steal her from me because I know how rare it is to find a hot chick who likes wrestling and is ALSO hot but too bad jabronis she's mine, all mine, mwahahahahah (Ted Dibiase style!)! AND OH YEAH, I've bbeen wrestling in indies but under a mask so my fans cant recognize me (I have to concentrate on my wrestling skillz rather than signing autographs!) but you'll all know my name soon, oh yes, you'll all know MASKED WARRIOR OF MAYHEM!!!! Even CHRIS BENOIT will know when I make a name for myself and punk him out!!!
27/5/2005 - Finally added my judgemant day rant! I would have added it earlier, but I've been having too much fun masturwanking! Like I said before it's so much better than sex and I dont care if I never have sexy agayne! And there's this hot asian girl just started in my school that I think wants to bone me, so IF I HAVE TO, I'll let her, but after that, no more sex! LOL, who am I kidding, I'm a sex machine, baby! I luv sex! Lol.
16/4/2004 - OMG! thanx for all the emails, over five hunrdred since da last update (three hundred and fifty from girls!)!! I guess treatening to kill yourself really works lol! Well remember taht girl I was dating from teh wrong side of the trax? Turns out she was arrested for stealing cars! She wanted me to bail her out but I was like "hell no, biatch, I'm having two much fun masturwanking over Trish Stratus and Gail Kim's new tits!" Masturwanking is much bettar than sex anyway because you dont have to worry about pleasing a second person, so screw her ass with broken glass!!! But with that said if you are a girl pleese send me pics beacuse I'm doing a survey into what wrestling fans look like! Just female ones though! lol!
17/3/2004 - Posted da Wrestlmania XX special finally! I was busy with my girl again! She borrowed like thirty of my CDs on Sunday and I havent seen her sincec and she's not answering her phone, hmm. But I care not becaujse I just download music for FREE now, lol! And also when Trish put on her EVIL FACE I suddenly got the biggest hard-boner in recorded human history and it had to be atended to, if you smell what the Newz is saying! (I jerked it big time!) LuvelyLinda16, if your reading, please email me again! I felt really connected to u from that one email you sent me and I think we could form a true friendship! and maybe have sex! And everyone else email me too at HotWWFNewz@hotmail.com or I'll STOP UPDATING THIS SITE AND KILL MYSELF!
15/2/2004 - I live!!!! Chekc out da Newest Newz for Newz on my getting carpool Tuneel syindrome! But I beat it, just like Zach Gowen beat cancer! To bad he coudln't beat BEING UNEMPLOYED, lol. Well, remember that girl I told youse guys about? Well it turns out that she was just using me, just like every other girl Ive eveeeeeer dated. :( :( :( Apart form the one who moved to Scotland, of course (she still hasn't emailed me, maybe she lost my address!?) She was just using me fro my coding skillz and wrestling knowladge so she could set up her own website and once she had it set up I tried to kiss her and she said "what the hell are you doing, get off me!" and scratched my face like my dog does sometimes, except I LIKE my dog!!! But I got my revenge anyway because I knew the password to her site so I hax0red it (JeffK, lol) and uploaded lots of gay pr0n! That'' teach her to turn down MY affections!!!!!!!! Aanyway, I'm hoping that LuvelyLinda16 will email my back soon, fingars crossed!!!
PS - Scott Keith is fat!!!!
26/11/2003 - I got a new girlfreid! And it happened when I wasnt even looking for one! I had been looking for one earlier that week (and earlier that day) but I had given up a few hours before and was working on my book when my man TheMonsterHaku47 (not his real name duh!) came round with his sistar and for the first tiem I noticed what a hottie she is! And he told me how she had gotten into wrestling lately and since I know more about wrestling than anyone he thought I could teach her how to be a real wrestling fan! So I told him to "get to stepping, biatch!" (not in those words) and invited her in and weve been together twice more since then and not only are we boyfriend and girlfriend (not offically yet, but it's obvious she wants me) but I'm also passing my knowledge on to her and, get this, she wants to be the first female wrestling columnist in the history of the itnernet!!!!!!
21/9/2003 - Bizzack once again my peepz! I was saying taht YEARS before Chrstian was! And this once I had a LIFE ALTERING EXPERIANCE when I interview my new favorite wrestler Billy Kidman who taught me that chicks DIG guys who are positive about the WWE! So hopefully I'll get a new grrrl soon because remember I told you my last one went to Scotland well the biatch still hasn't come back! Which is weird because her family is back and when i went to see if she was in her mom just said "no she's in Scotland and she married a bag pipe player goodbye" and shut the door. DEEZAMN! and it's REALLY weird since I was sure I saw my ex looking out teh window at me but then she quickly shut the curtains so it couldnt have been her! Anway, I also want to wish good luck to CRZ who is getting married (to a girl!) soon, good luck dood and have lotz of sex!!!!
27/7/2003 - OH MY GIZZOD! I AM FIANLLY BIZZACK! IT's been so fuckdamn long! I've been pleasuring my EX hot girl who broke up with me because "I'm too weird" STUPID HOBITCH, IF I'M WEIRD, WHY AM I SO POPULAR ON THE INTERNET HUH!? And now I have a new bitch but she's had to go to Europe as I explain in my latest updeate! New updates soon, maybe and mabye some special features for all the hotnezaholics, maybe!
9/4/2003 - YEAh, I told you I'd be back and I am! And I'm going to try and get a season ticket to Smackdown so I can report on the results every week! And I told my girl this and she was hizzappy and said she can't wait to see Nidia again! My girls' becoming a big wrestling fan, I'm so proud!
30/3/2003 - OMFGLOLMAO!!!! I'm still alvie! I bet you all thought I want to Iraq to fighte Saddamn lol. but I ddin't! What happened is I got GROUNDED from the internet by my mom after she caught me making out wiht my girl, what a biatch! That's mom, not the girl, she's hott! She looks like Avril Lavinge only shorter and she wears more make-up and she's got smaller boobs but she's still hot and our tongues are quite good friends now, if you smell what the Newz is cooking! Anyway, I DID write a update for WrestleManie (and this is no lie!) but my fucking computer crashed before I could post it! And I think a rival writer (possibly Scott Keith) planted a virus on my CPU or something because he's JEALOUS of me, that fat basterd! Anyway, I WILL be back soon with lots of Newz on how hot Torrie Wilson is so keep the faith, HotNewzaholics! :) :)
26/1/2003 - OMG! Happy new year, doodz and hott chicks! And I got SOOOO drunk on new years eve that you could not believe it! I drank almost 4 beers in less than 6 hours and that's got to be a recond or something! And I asked that cool girls from my skool to kiss me at midnight but she said she'd only doo it if she was REALLY drunk so I kept getting her lotz of drinks until she was completely out of it! but then when I asked for my kiss the biatch puked on me! So I dumped her skanky ass the next day! And now I'm after a new girl and she's a kewl skater goth chick like Avril Lavinge! and she was skating and I told her I skate and I did a 360 impossible double-flipside kick-flip ollie the other day and she was like "OMG really?" and I said "Yeah, on Tony Hawk's 4 ROTFLMAO!" and she rolled her eyes! BUT SHE WILL BE MINE.
23/12/2002 - OMG! It's nearly Christmaz and I am so excited!!! Not only am I gizzetting teh Hogan DVD, i'm also getting season tickets to every WWE show of the year!!!!1 I'm making sum good progress with taht girl in skool. The other day, her pencil broke and she asked me if she could borrow one of mine. So I put a pencil in my PANTS and said "reach in and take the long hard object...and I'm not talking about the pencil!" but she told the teacher and I got detention. :( But I can tell she wants me really! LOL. Anyway, have a GRATE Christmaz and a happy jolly NEWZ year!!!!2
3/12/2002 - OMG! I am finally back after almost sixx monthz! Well I broke up with that biatch of a girlfreind and now I'm seeing her HOT best friend! Well, I'm not going out with her yet, I mean I just see her at school. Like in class. But she's never spoke to me. But it's just a matter of time!!!!! Anyway, Hot Newz is BACK and watch out for a Christmas special comming soon to celebrate Jesus's birthday!!!!
17/11/2002 - OMG! I havne't updateed lately!!! I fell like I'm letting all my HotNewZaholics down :( :( :( :( :( and it's my hot girlfriend's birthday tonite so I have to take her out dinner (I'm gonna take her to McDonalds!)! And I'll miss Survivor Series because of that biatch but it's not all bad becasue I might get to pop her cherries if you smell what I'm cooking! But Hot Newz WILL return in teh futare with more Hot Newz soon so keep checking Hot Newz and Weinerville for updates doodz!
Quick Survivor Series Spoiler: Tripel H wins!
(This spoiler also works for every episode of RAW ROTFLMAO!!!!!)