How do you say goodbye to your mother when you don't want to have to let go ? Well, You don't. There is no easy way to lose a parent.And no matter how well you know it is their time to leave you are never ready for that final moment. Let me tell you about my mother .
Looking back on the past month I could see the end coming. My mother was losing her will to fight any more. We would beg her to get up and move around but she didn't have the strenght or the will to do so. And it was a part of the reason that she was taken from us.
When you have a bad heart and bad lungs inactivity is the worse thing that can happen to you. And it happened to my mother.
My mother loved to call all of us. And she did so several times a day. She called me several times at works through the week. I work for an Internet provider. Mom would call and say silly stuff like " I can't get on the internet" or " The cat ate my mouse and I can't connect to the internet". She was silly like that. She didn't even know how to turn a computer on. And now from time to time when the phone rings at work for a brief second I think , That's probably Mom. Now I only wish that is was.
The most precious thing I have right now I got tonight(11-7-03). My sisters found a tape recording of our mom tell her grandson Jason a story . I downloaded it to my computer tonight. I will treasure it forever.
The sound of my mothers voice brings a smile to my face and also a tear to my eye. Its a sweet combination of sadness and joy at the same time. The same feelings that I have had for the past several weeks. Laughing about things my mother has said and crying because I'll never hear her say them again.
The picture at the top of the page is my mother when she was young. Probably not long before I was born, But that is the way I will always remember my mother. Young and very beautiful. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I also think that beauty comes from a kind heart. My Mother has a very kind heart. There was NOTHING that she wouldn't have done for any of her family or friends. Nothing but lie for someone. Thats where she would always draw her line. My mother never told a lie, her word was like gold to her. If she said she was going to do something you could alway rest assumed that she would.
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