Copyright 2001
Victoria shifted uncomfortably on the couch and sighed. Grabbing another tissue, she wiped once again at her nose and sniffled. She couldn't breathe and it was driving her crazy. She hated being sick, she didn't have the energy to do anything. Sitting up, she stood off the couch and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed her bottle she'd filled with water and sipped at it, bringing it back into the room with her. Slumping back down on the couch, she quickly put the water down and grabbed another tissue, holding it to her nose as she sneezed loudly. Groaning, she rested her head back on the couch, looking up to see blue eyes staring down at her.
"Nick? I didn't even hear you come in."
"You didn't? I knocked like three times." Her best friend Nick Carter came around and sat on the couch next to her.
"I can't hear a thing." She gasped, coughing.
"You're sick."
"Naw really?" Victoria rolled her eyes and sniffled. They'd known each other forever, and when Nick became famous, surprisingly the friendship stayed intact, even better than before.
"Well, I coulda helped you or something."
"How? There's nothing you can do Nick. I'm sick and I just have to wait it out." She moaned, rubbing at her head.
"What's wrong?"
"My head is killing me. I have to wait for my medicine to wear off completely before I can take any more."
"Aww, come here." Nick soothed.
Victoria made her way over.
"Lay down on my lap."
Slowly she rested her head in Nick's lap. She felt his fingers on her head, rubbing gently.
"Ohh that feels nice." She moaned, closing her eyes.
"Good. Did you go see the doctor?"
"Yeah. He says it's just a basic cold and that I'm supposed to rest and not over exert myself. Drink lots of liquids. Mmmm." She sighed, as Nick continued to rub at her head.
"Sounds good to me."
"Yeah, I'm just so tired I can't do anything. I have no energy and it drives me crazy." Slowly she opened her eyes. "Wait, let me drink." She sat up and grabbed her bottle, sipping. She pulled away quickly only to start coughing. Nick started hitting her back.
"You ok?" He asked worriedly. She nodded. "Couldn't breathe." She smiled weakly at him before putting her head back down on his lap.
"Wow, you've got it bad don't you." Nick frowned.
"You know Nick, you should leave. I really wouldn't want you to catch this."
"It's ok. I don't mind, not like I'm on tour or anything."
Victoria looked up at him. "You're so weird, you WANT to get sick?"
"I didn't say I wanted to get sick, I said that it'd be ok if I did. I wouldn't wanna get sick from anyone else." He grinned.
"What's wrong with you?" Victoria sniffled. Suddenly her eyes widened and she grabbed at another tissue, sneezing into it, shaking the whole couch.
"Damn girl!" Nick laughed.
She rubbed at her eyes and sighed.
"Aww. Hey, let's watch a movie or something, take your mind off it for a while."
She nodded wearily and sat up. Nick stood and walked over to her video collection. "Since you're sick and pitiful looking, I'll let you pick the movie." Nick grinned.
"Oh, you're too kind." Victoria moaned.
"I know. Ok, so pick."
"Mmm, how about Speed?"
"Wow, good choice." Nick plucked the video from selection and popped it into the VCR.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, just figured you'd wanna watch a chick flick or something."
"Ugh, shut up!" She yelled hoarsely.
"Now now, don't go getting all excited. You'll loose your voice, and we wouldn't want that would we?" Nick asked, looking at her innocently.
Victoria stared at him. "Park it Carter."
Nick flopped back down on the couch. The video started and they watched intently. Victoria looked over at Nick who was concentrating hard on the movie. It was so like him to do this. It'd happened hundreds of times before. One of them was sick, and the other would come over and keep them company.
No matter how famous or hot everyone thought he was, he was still Nick, her Nick. It was a comfortable relationship. That's not to say she hadn't thought of pursuing a deeper relationship with him, she had, lots of times in fact. Of course she always came back to the same conclusion though, they were better as just friends. She didn't know how she knew that, she just did.
She studied his face, a face she'd looked into numerous times. A face filled with laughter and fun, and yes, even love. She wondered what it would be like for him to look at her the way he looked at his girlfriends. Nick could feel her staring at him; he was having a hard time not squirming. She had that way of looking at him like she was picking him apart. He didn't mind her looking at him, not at all. She just wasn't looking at him the way he wished she'd look at him, like she loved him. He knew she loved him, he also knew that she wasn't IN love with him the way he was in love with her. He couldn't pinpoint when it'd happened, he'd always just loved her the way he loved his sisters. Then one day he looked and it was more than that, it was deeper.
Suddenly he couldn't stand to see her with her boyfriends, he was never home much, but when he was, she'd always have someone new. It killed him to watch her in their arms, holding her and touching her. They never treated her the way she should be treated, not the way he would treat her.
They'd been through so much in their lives, he'd been worried that once the thing started with his group, they'd loose touch, but it didn't happen. She'd always been there for him, and she was now. But, he wanted more. So much more, he wanted her.
She tried hard to keep her eyes open but she couldn't, she was so worn out. Slowly her eyes fluttered shut. She felt it after a second, a soft caress. She moaned slightly and it went on. Over her face and down her neck, soft touches on her chest. It felt so good, so familiar, so right. Sighing she drew her tongue out over her lips, she wanted those touches somewhere else, somewhere deeper. She groaned.
"Victoria?"
A voice calling her, a soft voice.
"Victoria..."
Slowly her eyes opened, past the haze of her thoughts and feelings to see Nick staring at her, concern lacing his features.
"Victoria, you ok? You were moaning there, how do you feel?"
It was a dream, she'd been dreaming. Damn cold! "Mmm...I'm ok. Medicine's worn off I think." She muttered, her head still spinning.
"Here, let me get it for you. In the kitchen?"
She nodded.
"Ok, be right back with it, then you're going to bed honey." Nick stated, standing up and walking into the kitchen.
Rubbing at her head, which was aching again, she tried to calm her breathing. What caused her to dream that? The cold, it must've been the cold. It felt so real, so good. She wished she could've seen who was touching her like that, even if it was just a dream.
Nick walked back into the room. "Here ya go." He handed her the pills and a glass of water.
She took the pills from him carefully and swallowed them down with the water. Handing the glass back to Nick, she shifted on the couch and got ready to stand.
"Whoa, what do you think you're doing?"
"I'm going up to bed. That's what you wanted me to do isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Well I'm going, I'm too tired to argue with you." She groaned, starting to sit up.
"Wait."
"What?"
"Here." Nick knelt down. "Put your arms around my neck."
"Why?"
"Cause I'm gonna carry you up to bed."
"Nick, I can walk you know."
"The doctor said nothing strenuous."
"Nick, walking isn't strenuous. Now move." She started to get up again.
"No, come on Victoria, just do it."
"Nick!"
"Now!"
Victoria sighed and slowly moved to the edge of the couch. Sighing heavily, she wrapped her arms around Nick's neck.
"Ready?"
"Yeah I guess."
Nick nodded and placed his arm under her legs and gently lifted her. Victoria's heart dropped as she felt Nick lift her up and start up the stairs to her room.
"Wow, since when did you become so buff?" She chuckled.
Nick laughed. "Since I had to actually do some kinda work."
Victoria sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. It felt so good to be in his arms like this. Where did this crazy feeling come from of her not wanting to let go? She moaned, burying her face in his neck, inhaling his familiar scent. She tightened her hold.
He tried to ignore the way she felt in his arms, her face in his neck, her warm breath. He couldn't though, his body couldn't. He hoped she couldn't feel what she was doing to him. He quickly made his way down to her room, opening the door and stepping in.
Her heart pounded as they made their way into her room. She didn't want him to put her down; she wanted to stay there. She bit her lip as she felt Nick bend down and pull the covers back before gently placing her on the bed.
"There we go." Nick smiled, sitting quickly.
"Thanks Nick, you really didn't have to do that."
"I know, but I wanted to." He gently brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes.
Victoria smiled, why hadn't she noticed before how handsome he was? How blue his eyes were when he smiled. "Well I'm gonna head out and let you get some rest. Take care and I'll come by tomorrow to see how you are ok." She couldn't seem to find the words to speak. Nick smiled again before leaning down to kiss her cheek gently.
"Bye Victoria." He whispered, before starting to pull away.
"Nick...wait."
Nick looked down into her eyes, his lips inches from hers. "What? Victoria?"
They stared at each other for what seemed like forever before Nick gently brushed his lips over hers. She held her breath, her heart pounding frantically. Nick stared down at her again. "Nick...
"I want to kiss you."
"You'll...you'll get sick." She stammered. Who was she kidding, she wanted him to kiss her.
"I don't care. I need to do this. Let me." He murmured, brushing his lips over hers again. Yes, all he needed to hear was her say "yes".
"Yes Nick."
He swallowed hard, finally. Leaning down, he brushed her lips with his, before closing his mouth over hers gently. He felt her hands slide up his arms and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. He deepened the kiss, needing more of her. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, tasting every corner. She was just he imagined she'd be.
She couldn't seem to get enough as she kissed him. She wanted more, his very soul. Pulling away, she gasped for air. It didn't help that she was still stuffed up, but she didn't care. She wouldn't let this opportunity pass her by. Nick closed his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing.
"Victoria, I don't know what...what's gonna happen. I can't...this is all new to me. All I know is..." Slowly he opened his eyes, looking deep into hers. "...That I want you."
Her breath caught, her ears popping. The medicine was starting to work thankfully. Maybe that's why she ended up saying what she said.
"I want you too Nick, so much."
He kissed her again, slowly sliding his hands up her body. He told himself that he'd go slow and let this be for her the way it should be, but now he didn't know if he could do that. He didn't even know if she wanted that. He pulled away, looking at her once more.
"Do you want this Victoria?"
She looked into his eyes, and she knew. "Yes, I want this. I want this to happen." He seemed to come to a conclusion about something and finally his lips were on hers again.
"Can Ican I really have you Victoria?" He murmured in her ear before nibbling on her ear.
"Yes, yes Nick. I'm yours."
Hold me, love me
Give me all that you got
Tell me truly Can I get in the right spot
"I've waited so long to hear you say those words, so long. I've wanted you to be mine." He whispered, his hands grabbed at her shirt and started pushing it up. He could feel her trembling. She lifted her arms as he slid the shirt over her head and onto the floor. He looked down at her briefly before kissing her again.
She should tell him no, that was logical thing to do, the right thing. But her heart was telling her differently. She wanted to feel him, needed to feel him. Suddenly an urgency she wasn't expecting took over as she grabbed at his shirt, pulling it off him. She knew he'd been the one she'd been waiting for for so long. No matter how many other boyfriends she'd had, it'd always been Nick she'd been wanting. She knew that now, she just had to figure out how to tell him.
He needed to know if she wanted him as bad as he wanted her. He brought his hands down to cup her breasts, teasing her through the silky fabric. He felt her shudder beneath him and he sighed. He'd stop if she wanted him to, if she wasn't ready. "Victoria, please let me know. If this isn't what you want, just tell me." He held his breath as he felt her stop and look up at him.
"No, don't Nick. Don't stop please. I do want you to, I want you so bad that I just can't wait any longer." She heard herself say. Whatever happened, she didn't want him to stop, not when he felt this good.
"Victoria, I want you tonight." Nick whispered, his hands undoing the button on her pants and sliding them down.
For so long I've waited for you to come
And love me Cause I need you
To let me know if you want me to
Do the things to you
That no other can do (I want you to)
I want you bad
And I won't lie
And I can't deny
That I want you tonight
She couldn't stop shaking, she was scared. She knew she shouldn't be, but she was. Not that she was scared of him; scared that she wouldn't be enough, that she wouldn't make him happy. She'd never worried about that with anyone else, but Nick was different. He was her friend; this was so important, so much more special than anything else.
The feeling only increased when she felt Nick's hands slide in back of her and unhook her bra. She was ready to call out and stop him, tell him that it wouldn't be fair to him that she wouldn't be good enough, but all thought fled as she felt Nick's lips on her nipple. She squeezed her eyes shut, her breathing deep. She couldn't tell him to stop, his lips felt so good.
"Please Nick...please." She moaned, no, he couldn't stop. She felt his lips move to the other breast and start sucking deeply on her other nipple.
Good, she tasted so good. He could hear her soft whimpers; it only increased his longing for her. Slowly he moved lower, his tongue circling her navel.
Hold me, love me
Give me all that you got
Tell me truly
Can I get in the right spot
She needed him closer, deeper. She didn't know where this longing or wanting of him came from or when it'd happened. She gasped as she felt Nick slowly pull her underwear down. It was gonna happen.
This wasn't lust, he knew it. He'd lusted over women before; the feeling had never been like this, this strong. Love, he knew it was love. He wanted to be the one with her; she was his and no one else's. He'd never find anyone else he wanted more than he wanted her right now.
He felt her hands move to his jeans, unbutton and push them down. His heartbeat increased. He was so ready for her; he'd been waiting for this for what seemed like forever.
I wonder what it is that turns me on
When I'm next to you
Can't figure out why I want you
Is it lust or love?
Either one will do
Cause I want you for myself
And nobody else (Takes the place of you)
Right now Cause it's on
So unplug the phone
Cause I want you to hold me
She felt Nick move back up her body, coming to rest on her gently. She didn't know how much longer she could wait. His lips covered hers as he rested slowly between her legs.
"It's not too late to stop me Victoria." Nick announced, pulling lips from hers.
Fear poured over her, he didn't want this. He was trying to tell her. She wasn't enough for him. "N-Nick, I...I mean if you didn't want this it's ok...I understand."
Nick looked at her shocked, didn't want this? It was all he'd ever wanted. "Not want this? God Victoria, I've never wanted anything more." Something like relief flooded her eyes. He looked at her confused.
"Well I thought that...that maybe you were trying to get out of it. I thought maybe you thought I wouldn't be...good enough for you." She whispered.
"Oh baby no. If anything I wouldn't be good enough for you. Damn Victoria, I love you. I'm in love with you."
Victoria couldn't believe it, but she could see it in his eyes. He was in love with her, and she knew then that she was in love with him. Bringing his lips down to hers, she kissed him deeply. She felt him move then, and slowly slide into her.
Hold me, love me
Give me all that you got
Tell me truly
Can I get in the right spot
He didn't move, he couldn't. The feelings were overwhelming.
"Nick...oh...please." He heard her moan.
Slowly he started moving against her, pushing in deep and moving out painfully slow.
He felt so good to her, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
"V-Victoria...please...h-hold me." Nick panted.
She reached up, wrapping her arms around him pulling him closer to her body as he continued move within her.
Oh baby, you drive me crazy
Put your arms around me baby
And hold me now
That's what I wanna do
(That's what I wanna do)
Right now baby
I want you to hold me
Slowly he increased his pace, moving faster and faster. He couldn't get enough, capturing her lips with his.
She pulled away, burying her face in his neck. She felt him move quicker, pushing harder, deeper. "Nick! Oh god." She moaned.
Hold me, love me
Give me all that you got
Tell me truly
Can I get in the right spot
She felt her body start to tense as her release came. Nick pushed into her one last time as her body tightened around him over and over. She heard him call her name and she cried out.
Nick slumped down on her, trying to catch his breath. He could feel her body shaking below him. He held her tightly before sliding out of her and pulling her up next to him.
Neither one said anything for a long time. Finally he heard Victoria sniffle, his heart dropped. Was she crying? Had he hurt her? "Victoria...are you ok?" He whispered. She nodded. He pulled back and lifted her head to look into her eyes. She wasn't crying. "You...you were sniffling."
"Yeah, my nose is starting to run." She smiled shyly. She reached behind her and grabbed a tissue off the table and wiped at her nose. "Damnit!" She managed to get out right before she sneezed.
"I forgot you were sick." Nick laughed, hugging her tighter.
She wiped at her nose again. "Yeah, and you are too now most likely."
"Best way to get germs as far as I'm concerned." He grinned.
"You're such a moron!" Victoria giggled.
"I am huh?"
"Yeah."
Nick looked at her and smiled, kissing her again. "You know something, we sorta forgot your doctor's orders."
"Which were?"
"Nothing strenuous."
Victoria felt her face burning. "This was an exception."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Why's that?"
"This was fun!" She laughed.
Nick smiled then looked at her intensely. "I love you Victoria."
She looked at him. "I love you too Nick."
"So does this mean that...we're together now?"
"Do you want it to mean that?"
"You know I hate when you do that! Just answer the question!"
Victoria laughed. "Well I'd love to be with you, if you wanna be with me. I mean I am sick."
"Well I wanna be with you, no doubt. I'm just what the doctor ordered."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, doctors say you need a lot of love and rest when you're sick...well, here I am! I'm all yours."
"Remind me to thank my doctor!" Victoria smiled, as Nick leaned down to kiss her again.
Hold Me-By Brian McKnight
