Chapter 50
Later that evening...
He stood out on his deck, staring at the water. So much had happened in the last few weeks, he wasn't the same guy. There was a sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before. He'd been through too much, and he knew he would never toy with anyone's emotions again.
His date with Lisa had been unsuccessful. After dinner they went to a movie and then he dropped her off home. He just couldn't start dating, he wasn't over her yet. Would be a long time before he would ever really be over her he knew. He wasn't gonna chase after her, he wouldn't do that. She was right to be so upset with him, what he'd done was wrong. He wouldn't be surprised if he never heard from her again. Sighing heavily, he started down towards the water, just then he heard his doorbell ring. Looking down at his watch, he wondered who it could be at such an hour, he made his way quickly into the house and over to the door, swinging it open.
"Keyana!"
"Hi Nick."
Nick, she was calling him Nick.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course, please." He stepped to the side as she came forward. She looked beautiful in her floral sundress. "I, what, what are you doing here?" Nick stuttered. She turned to look at him.
"I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh, ok. Do you mind if we go out back? It's such a nice night out."
"Sure."
They quietly made their way out, and down towards the water. She was so nervous she wiped her sweaty palms on her dress. She hoped she could say what she needed to. She looked over and noticed that he had a blanket and stereo set up. Fear poured over her. "Were you expecting someone?" She asked softly.
"Huh? Oh, no. I had this ready for myself, I was gonna come down here to relax for a bit."
"Oh."
"Have a seat." Nick gestured to the blanket, Keyana sat and he followed. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He looked over at her, her gaze on the rushing tides. He was so scared of what she was gonna tell him, he almost didn't want to know why she was here, almost.
"I wanted to tell you that what you did was wrong. That I'll never forget how you hurt me. That for a while, I thought I hated you, wanted nothing to do with you again. With that said, I later realized something."
Nick swallowed hard. "What's that?"
She turned to look at him. "That I missed you."
Nick blinked. She missed him.
"I'm not excusing what you did, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were everywhere. Little things like the type of truck you drive, steak dinners, peach colored soap dishes." A small smile playing on her lips.
Nick chuckled.
She looked down. "Red roses."
His smile faded and he looked out across the water.
"It's through all those things that I came to my conclusion."
"Wait Keyana, before you say anything else, I wanna show you something." Nick stopped her.
She bit her lip, what could he want to show her? She watched as Nick turned and picked something up, turning to hold it out to her. It appeared to be a book. "What's this?"
"It's my journal."
"Why are you showing me your journal?"
"I want you to read what I wrote about you. I want you to see what I was feeling, what you did and still do to me." He whispered.
"Nick, I can't read this. These are your private thoughts."
"Yeah they are, private thoughts and fantasies you made come true. Please."
She stared at him a moment longer before opening the notebook and flipping through it, reading the entries.
He watched her carefully as she read, her face emotionless. Finally she looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. He'd told himself that no matter how she reacted, he wouldn't regret showing her.
"This doesn't make me change my mind about you ya know, it only makes it stronger." She whispered.
She still hated him, wait. Didn't she say she thought she hated him? Maybe she was sure now. "What?"
"My love for you. It makes my love for you stronger." She felt her voice shaking.
Nick stared at her. Love for him? Love? "Wha, What?" He stammered.
She took a breath and said what was in her heart. "I love you Nick. I think I loved you from the moment you walked into my office all clumsy and disoriented. All the little things you did for me, cooking, holding, listening to me. You made me feel cherished, beautiful and special and I kept pushing it away. Wouldn't let myself believe it. I started to ache and long for you. Then when you were gone, and I'd pushed too hard. I realized that I missed you. I'm sorry Nick, sorry it took so long for me to find you." She whispered. She couldn't look at him any longer, her gaze lowering to the blanket.
Nick just stared at her, hardly believing what she'd just said. He reached out, cupping her face in his hands, lifting her head. "Keyana."
"I love you Nick, and I want to be with you. If you still want me."
He said nothing, but brought her lips to his, kissing her deeply.
Oh how can it be true
God's gift me and you
And I won't take it for granted
My love for you is strong
With this can't go wrong
And I can't believe this feeling
She moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. This was where she belonged.
Nick pulled away and looked into her eyes. "Keyana, are you sure? I mean, can you forgive me, forgive what I did to you?"
"We all make mistakes Nick. It was your mistake, that made me realize mine." She smiled. "All I know is, it feels so right."
I don't know
So confused
What to do
How 'bout you
Please don't pull away from me
I don't know
So confused
What to do
Feelin' you
And in the end you ask me
Feels so right lovin' you
Feels so right touchin' you
He pulled her to him and then down onto the blanket, quickly their clothes were discarded, as Nick settled over her.
Touch think wish love
Accept this love
Accepting you as you are
Believe in this love
And we will rise above
Thick and thin 'til the end yeah
"I love you Nick. More than you know."
"I love you too, so much that I must be dreamin'." Nick smiled bending down to kiss her, sealing their love.
Feels so right lovin' you
Feels so right touchin' you
Feels so right holding you
Feels so right kissing you
That I gotta believe
That I gotta believe
*********************************************************************
Entry 15
Hey!
Well me and Keyana are together now. I can't believe how this worked out. She forgave me after everything that happened and now we're as close as two people can be. I love her so much, more than i thought I could ever love someone. It's like I told her, I must be dreamin'. Peace out!
Nick
Dreamin' of you
Dreamin' everyday
And every night of my life
But someone else is holding you tight
So I'll see you in my dreams girl
Dreamin' By 98
Feels So Right-By Janet Jackson
The-End
