It's Been Awhile
Copyright 2003
Chapter 1
June 2001
"AJ! Stop it! Just stop! This isn't right and you know it!" Erin yelled.
"I won't stop! Where do you get off tellin' me what to do?!" AJ screamed.
"I'm not telling you what to do! I...I just hate when you get like this."
"Like what?"
"All defensive and everything, you know I'm saying this cause I love you AJ."
"You sure have a hell of a way showing it! What the hell do you know anyway? Why should I listen to you?!"
"Because I see the way you've been acting these last few months, you've changed Alex, you're different. I don't know who I'm looking at anymore when I look at you, you're not the same guy I started dating seven months ago."
"Whatever."
"What do you mean whatever?! God AJ, everyone knows! You need help, this...this...thing is eating at you, it's killing your soul! Please!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, what are you really getting at?"
"You know what I'm getting at! You're hurting yourself, everything, the lies, the partying. You can't stop, you need help before it's too late!"
"You don't know anything about me! You don't know about my problems and you sure as hell aren't helping them any, so just butt out!"
"I can't!"
"You can, it's easy, just turn and walk away."
"Is that what you want?"
Silence.
"I don't know what to do Alex, I just don't."
AJ stared at her, suddenly his expression turning cold, he whirled around, his back to her. "Then let's end this."
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
She stilled, her heart pounding in her ears, "What?"
"Let's end this, right here, right now. You're not happy, and I'm...well. It doesn't matter does it? I refuse to be told that I have some kind of problem, I don't need this right now. It's bad enough I got the guys breathing down my neck, I don't need it from you too."
"AJ please, don't do this. You don't have to go through it alone, I'll be there with you. We don't have to end this, this isn't what I was getting at." Erin pleaded.
"Well it sure seems like it, if you didn't want to be with me anymore, all you had to do was say so, this is a pretty chicken shit way of doing it." AJ spat.
"Alex, I can't believe you're saying this to me, I can't believe I'm hearing this, that you think that low of me." Beyond the pain and hurt, she felt her anger starting to build over what he was saying to her, it was unreal.
He shrugged, "It's of no consequence to me anymore. Do whatever, but do it without me, we're both better off."
She stared at him, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't bring herself to protest, not when she wanted the same thing, not when she could no longer let herself watch him do what he was doing, no more.
"I take that as a yes then?"
Erin looked down, it hurt too much to say it.
"Erin?"
"Yes Alex, yes."
"Fine."
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to god that it won't be long
Erin watched as he turned, staring at her. His eyes that were once so warm, so passionate, now so cold...empty.
"I'll get you a ticket back home and send you your stuff when I get back home."
She nodded, looking away.
"Take care of yourself Erin."
She looked back up at him and frowned, she had to try one last time. "Get help Alex, please...just...take care of yourself. Don't..."
He narrowed his eyes coldly.
Sighing heavily, she walked over, grabbing her purse off the bed and headed for the door, turning one last time to look at him. "Goodbye Alex."
"Goodbye Erin."
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Power of Goodbye - By Madonna
