Chapter 56
Later that evening...
Nyla flipped through the stations aimlessly, her mind elsewhere. The conversation she'd had with Erin kept playing over and over again in her head. She wanted so badly to pick up the phone and call him, but what would she say? She didn't even know where to start.
Turning her head, she stared at the phone intently, she could just call him to talk...start simple. She feared he wouldn't really want anything to do with her anymore, but he'd promised she'd never be alone.
Reaching out, she grabbed the cordless, turning the volume down on the TV and stared at the phone again. She could do this...she could. Taking a fortifying breath, she went to press the button, when suddenly, the phone rang. Blinking, she pressed the button. "Hello?"
"Ny?"
"Nick! Hi!"
"Hey, look, are you busy?"
"No, why? What's up?"
"Can ya come by? I think we need to talk."
Her heart dropped, this couldn't be good. "Sure, I'll be right over."
"Ok, see ya in a bit."
Nyla hung up and stood, grabbing her shoes and putting them on before grabbing her keys and heading out. She'd tell him tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That'd been easier than he thought it'd be, he'd finally worked up the nerve to call her. Tonight he'd tell her how he felt and lay it all out on the table.
Standing, he started to pace, checking his watch occasionally. God but he was nervous! What if she didn't want to be with him? What if she didn't love him anymore? Flopping down face first into the couch, he groaned. Suddenly the buzzer rang and he bolted up, heart racing and made his way over to the door, pressing the button so she could get through the gate. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door, taking one last deep breath; he swung the door open.
"Come on in." He smiled.
"Thanks." Nyla stepped in and turned towards him. "So what's up?"
"Come on," He took her hand and lead her into the room and over to the couch, sitting down with her. "I think there's some things we need to discuss...there's stuff...that I've been wanting to tell you for awhile now and I thought maybe we could just talk."
She blinked, "Oh, ok sure."
He nodded, "Alright, well first off I just wanna say sorry bout everything with Scott and Celeste."
"Why Nick? It's not your fault."
"I know but still...I mean, she was my girlfriend."
"Yeah, and he was my boyfriend, it's ok. They seem really happy and that's the important thing."
"I know, it all seems so odd doesn't it?"
"It does, totally unexpected that's for sure."
Nick watched her intently, he really wished he knew what she was thinking. "Nyla..."
"Wait Nick...there's something I need to tell you before I loose my nerve."
This wasn't good. "Ok, go ahead."
She stood suddenly, pacing nervously. "I just...I wanted to tell you that...that..." She looked down at him and could feel herself starting to loose her nerve anyway.
"Nyla?"
She forged on; "I'm sorry Nick, really for everything. For the last year for just...I don't know what else to say. It seems like in some ways, we've both lost out on so much and all that's left is...us."
There's no winners
And there's no losing
All we got is what we are
Yeah
Biting her lip, she sat back down next to him. "I made a terrible mistake Nick, huge one and I ran after. I don't know what I was thinking, but I really messed up and...and in the end the truth hurt me more than I could ever dream, but it hurt you more and when I did that, I went too far. You hurt more than I ever could and the thought of that makes me sick."
Nick stared at her sadly, reaching out and taking her hand in his, wanting to comfort her, but also knowning she had to say what she needed to.
"Even though you say I have your forgiveness, I still want to earn it, I want to work up to the way things used to be, and I won't stop until I do."
One mistake and I got you breakin
This time I think I've gone too far
Nick smiled, reaching up with his other hand and brushing her cheek lightly. "Oh Ny."
She smiled a bit, looking down.
"There's something else."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement and yet she still hesitated.
"What Nyla?"
Nyla looked up at him, her heart pounding wildly. So badly she wanted to tell him, but she just couldn't, couldn't bring herself to say the words. She didn't deserve him, didn't deserve the chance. Looking away again, she slipped her hand out of his. Mistake, this had been another mistake and they'd only end up hurt again. She wouldn't do that to him again, she wouldn't.
He frowned again, what wasn't she saying? "Nyla, come on baby. I thought we were gonna be honest with each other, we always used to be. Tell me what you're feeling, what you're thinking, what's hurting you still?"
Baby tell me why we don't speak
Open your heart to me
Love me tonight
Slowly she looked up at him. "Nick, I don't...I don't want to walk away from you again. I don't want you to walk away from me. I don't want to be without you anymore, it hurts too much. I keep telling myself that I don't deserve you, that I don't deserve another chance but..."
He took her hand in his again, could it be true? "But...what baby?"
"But I can't help but want another one, another chance to make things right."
Don't walk away...baby
You gotta hear me say...I'm sorry
You know I'm not afraid
To say that it's fate
Don't walk away
I'm sorry...I'm sorry
"Nyla..."
"I don't know...what you're feeling, what you're thinking. I mean, I used to be able to look into your eyes and know what you're thinking, it'd be like...I could see inside you, but...I guess what I'm trying to say, is it too late to try again? To start over?" She whispered.
Why's it hard to
Get inside you
Is it too late to make a start
"I need you Nick, in a way I've never needed anyone before. I miss you, my heart hurts. You were everything to me, you still are. You're the reason I did the things I did, You were my inspiration, you made me want to dance, you made me want to...to just do all the things I've ever wanted to do."
Nick moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, barely able to hold back the excitement swelling inside him, there was hope.
"If I have to go on any longer without you, I don't know what I'd do. If I don't have you right next to me I don't feel whole, you make me feel whole."
You know I need you
Because I breathe you
And with every breath I fall apart
Baby tell me what's left of me
If you're not right next to me
Baby I'd die
"Nyla, baby you make me feel whole too. All I've ever wanted was to be with you, I don't think I could take it again if you left me. There's no reason to now and if being with each other makes us happy, then what are we waiting for?"
She blinked, "You mean...you want to try again?"
Nick smiled, "Absolutely."
Don't walk away...baby
You gotta hear me say...I'm sorry
You know I'm not afraid
To say that it's fate
Don't walk away
I'm sorry...I'm sorry
Despite all her efforts, she felt her eyes well up and spill over. She couldn't believe it, he wanted another chance, he still wanted to be with her. She could feel her heart swelling with love.
"No no, no tears baby. You don't have to cry anymore, it hurts me to see you cry." Nick whispered, wiping at her eyes.
There's no reason to cry
When you're drowning yourself
In your tears tonight
Part of me dies
And you know it's not right...yeah
And you know it's not right
Reaching out, she took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes, no longer afraid to say what was in her heart. "I love you Nick, I never stopped loving you."
A slow smile spread over his lips as he brought her hands up to his lips, kissing them lightly.
"I love you too baby."
Nyla let out a breath, moving in closer to him, pulling her hands away and hugging him fiercely. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too baby, but it's ok, we've found our way back home once again." He whispered, pulling away smiling as she leaned in, kissing him deeply.
Don't walk away...baby
You gotta hear me say...I'm sorry
You know I'm not afraid
To say that it's fate
Don't walk away
I'm sorry...I'm sorry
Don't Walk Away - By Nick Carter
The-End
