Chapter 24
She sighed heavily as the water lapped around her, the suds tickling her aching body. Another long day at work, though not as hectic. She wished she got out more, all she did was work and come home. Nothing exciting ever happened, with the exception of last night. She smiled. Last night had been wonderful. It was all she'd thought about at work; numerous times she'd drifted off into her little world, unaware of clients coming to her window.
Something like that always seemed to happen when Nick came around. It was as if her defenses seemed to crumble around him. Last night had been her fault. She'd provoked it totally and it'd gotten out of hand. A few minutes longer and the unthinkable would've happened. She tried hard to feel guilty about it, but she couldn't. Nick was technically single, so it really was ok. Still, she felt as if she'd been betraying her friend.
Lust, it had to be lust. She'd never felt this way about anyone before. She'd never done the kind of things she'd done with Nick with anyone, not even her ex. Not that Matt would've gone for it anyway. She was almost afraid of their next meeting.
Bending over, she let the water out of the tub and stood. Quickly she rinsed the rest of the bubbles off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself.
She had to stop thinking about it; she was spending too much time worrying about it. Nick probably hadn't even thought about it. Things like that must happen to him often. She wiped the fine mist off the mirror and stared at her reflection. She couldn't deny the strong sexual pull she had towards Nick, she couldn't deny it. But couldn't indulge in it. It was far too risky. She could loose her heart to him and that wasn't wise, because ultimately in the end, he would be with Vanessa.
She rubbed at her face and slowly got dressed. She pulled her robe on, tying the sash and heading out, throwing her clothes in the hamper and starting downstairs. There was a soft knock and her gaze flew to the door. Her heart pounding, she found herself hoping, praying that the person on the other side was who she wanted.
Slowly walking over, she opened the door. 'Do NOT indulge!' She told herself. 'Do NOT!'
"Hi Illana." Nick smiled.
"Hey there." She called softly.
"I was lonely, can you hang out for a while?"
No! Just say no! "Sure, come on in." She heard herself reply. What was she doing!?
"Thanks." He stepped in and waited while she closed the door, they made their way to the couch and sat. "So tell me about your day." He smiled.
"Same as usual. Not as busy as yesterday though. That was hell. I was actually able to get some work done. How bout you?"
"Well, I met with the guys and did a little work on the album." Little was right. He'd hardly been able to focus all afternoon. He kept missing his cues and was flat on more than one occasion. Finally Kevin called the rest of the rehearsal off on "the fact that someone couldn't seem to stay focused for more than five minutes." Needless to say Kevin had been none too pleased.
"How's it coming along?"
"Slowly." He winced.
"Slow is good sometimes, take your time and do it right."
He looked at her, yes it was. Nice and slow was definitely a good thing. He shook his head, shaking away the thought of him moving slowly against her. A very good thing. "So how has your evening been?"
"Relaxing. Just finished a nice bubble bath, I feel lazy and warm and comfy and all...mmm." She sighed, her eyes drifting shut.
"Sounds nice." Nick whispered.
She opened an eye. "It was." She winked. "It was just what I needed. I'm so damn tense when I get home. My muscles are all tense and shit."
"Aww...here, turn around."
"Why?"
"Just do it."
Shrugging, she turned so her back was to him. Suddenly she felt his hands on her back, massaging her tense muscles. "Ohhh, mmm. That feels nice."
"Close your eyes." He whispered.
She obeyed, her eyes suddenly very heavy. She moaned softly as Nick rubbed her skin firmly, moving down her back and then up along her neck. Her head rolled forward, seemingly of it's own accord. She couldn't help herself as she backed up, closer to him. She reminded herself not to indulge, but surely there wasn't anything wrong with a little massage. He brought his hands down to her shoulders and down her arms.
"Wow, you really are tense. Try to relax honey." He murmured.
No problem there, with his hands on her like this, she was ready to fall asleep. "God Nick you have...great...hands. Mmmm..." She moaned.
"I'm glad you approve."
She noticed his voice was closer to her, she could feel his breath against her ear. She shivered slightly, and then felt him wrap his arm around her and pull her up against him. She had to be strong.
She forced her eyes open and she turned to look at him. "Th-thanks Nick. That was great." Was that her voice that sounded so breathless?
"No problem, anytime. How do you feel?"
"I feel...boneless." He chuckled. "Good, then it worked." He turned, wrapping his arm around her on the couch. She leaned forward, fumbling with the remote and turned the TV on. They watched quietly for a bit, when she could feel herself starting to drift off. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door and she bolted up. Nick, who must've also been asleep, jerked up too. They barely had time to focus, when they heard the door open.
"Illana! Guess what? I met someone tonight, he..."
Nick and Illana turned to see Vanessa standing there, watching them.
"Vanessa! What are you doing here?" Illana stood to look at her.
"I was going to tell you something, I see you have company. Hello Nick."
"Hey Vanessa." He was standing now, looking right at her.
"Nick and I were just, we were just..."
"Hanging out, watching some TV."
"I see. Well I didn't mean to interrupt. Bye." She replied coldly.
"Vanessa wait!" Illana called after her. A few seconds later she heard the door slam.
A tense silence filled the room; she brought her hand up to cover her mouth.
"Illana..."
She looked over at Nick. "I'm sorry."
"Why? We weren't doing anything wrong. Besides why does it matter? We're not seeing each other anymore. She shouldn't care."
"I know but...I don't know. I don't know how she's going to take this."
Nick walked over to her, taking her hands in his.
"What she thinks doesn't matter. She doesn't tell me who I can be friends with, like I don't tell her who she can be friends with."
The realization hit her. "Nick, she said that she..."
"Yeah, I know."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know." And he really didn't.
"I'm sorry Nick. This whole thing is becoming very complicated."
"I know it is." He watched as the weariness settled over her body. "You really should go to bed honey."
"Yeah, I think so. I'm so tired now. That massage worked wonders." She yawned.
"I'll let you go then." He took her hand. "But first..."
"What?"
He led her up the stairs to her room and over to her bed. He pulled the covers back before turning to her. "Get in."
"Nick, you don't have to tuck me in." She whispered, stifling another yawn.
"You're dead on your feet. You'd better get in before you fall over." He laughed softly.
She smiled sleepily, taking a step forward. He couldn't stop himself as he scooped her up and placed her gently on the bed. He looked down into her eyes; her arms still wrapped around his neck. She seemed to realize and she brought her arms down, running them over his chest.
Pulling away slowly, he brought the covers up and around her. "I'll lock up on the way out ok? Get some sleep and I'll talk to you soon."
"Thank you Nick." She could barely keep her eyes open.
"Good night Illana."
"Good night Nick."
He watched as she drifted off. He wished he could curl up and hold her all night. He shook his head. He could see how upset she was about what'd happened earlier and he didn't blame her. He didn't know what to do, but then he thought. Vanessa had wanted it this way. It was her idea for the two of them to break up. He had nothing to feel guilty about. He couldn't stand to see Illana so upset over it though, she had nothing to do with it. Knowing Vanessa though, she'd make a big deal out of it. Illana didn't deserve it; she didn't deserve any of this. He never should've had her help him, now she was just as much apart of this as he was.
Sighing he turned and started towards the door, turning one last time to watch her sleeping figure. If he could just figure out what he wanted, what he should do.
"Goodnight Illana." He whispered one last time before quietly shutting the door and leaving.
