Chapter 4
"Hi Nick, come on in." Illana smiled, stepping aside. It felt funny to have Nick there without Vanessa. Nick smiled and stepped inside, walking by her and waiting. "Go on in and have a seat."
He nodded and headed in, taking his coat off and draping it over the couch before sitting.
"Have some chips, would you like a drink?" She asked, heading into the kitchen and pulling out the two glasses she frosted. She poured some pop in them and brought them out, setting one in front of Nick. "Well even if you didn't, you have one now." She winked, sitting across from him. Nick smiled weakly and looked down. Her smile faded.
"So talk to me, tell me what's going on."
Nick looked over at her. He'd known Illana for as long as he'd known Vanessa, and there was just something about her that he knew he could trust. He knew she'd understand cause she knew how Illana was. He sighed, looking down. "Well, as I'm sure you know from Vanessa, we've been having problems lately."
"What kind of problems?"
"I'm sure she's told you it was all me, that I've been acting differently."
Illana nodded.
"I guess that's true to an extent, but it's only because she is. She's not the same girl I first asked out." He let out a soft grunt. "Maybe she is but I'm just now realizing..." He shook his head. "Anyway, I guess I sorta just opened my eyes recently and figured something out about Vanessa that...that just seems to be getting worse."
"And that would be..."
"She's cold."
Illana stared at him. "She's...cold?"
"Yeah, cold."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never figured Nick to be the nasty macho type. "Now wait just a damn minute Nick! I don't think..."
"No no, I don't mean like that Illana. Although that's starting to suffer too."
"What are you trying to say Nick?" Ok, now she was confused.
"She's cold, unfeeling. I can't seem to get close to her. Now I'm not the most affectionate person, but I mean come on. She never wants to hug; cuddle or anything like that. When I try to get close to her, she brushes me off. She'd rather talk about herself, her job, whatever."
"Wait, that doesn't seem right." Illana started, picking up a chip. "Whenever I see you two, you're always making out and stuff." She announced, munching on the chip before taking a sip of her drink.
Nick smiled sadly. "Yeah, I guess we've gotten good at fooling people. I've been trying harder to get through to her, and now she thinks something's wrong with me cause I'm so much more touchy feely. I know you've probably wondered why we'd invited you with us on our dates, well that was the only way I could get her to show any sort of feeling or emotion." He hated to think that he was using Illana like that, but there was also part of him that just enjoyed her being there, she brought that stability and fun that was missing from his and Vanessa's relationship.
Illana stood and came to sit next to him. "Ok, and you say your...umm...intimate situation has changed too?"
"Yeah. In the beginning it was great, just like everything else. But then that changed too. She never wanted to...ya know. I'm not like, the kinda guy who has to every day, but she never wanted to. I mean, once every two weeks and for a guy that's...well that's rough." Nick explained, grabbing a chip and popping it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. He took a sip of his pop.
Illana's eyes widened. "I...see."
"But that's not the big thing though." He went on, putting his glass down. "It's not just the physical ya know. I miss having someone to just talk to, to hold. Everything is just so serious now; there's nothing we ever do that's just for fun. It's not there anymore. We hardly ever see each other, she's always busy and so am I. When I try to make time for us alone, she always finds some way out of it. I think, I think it's her family."
"Her family?"
"Yeah, you know how they are."
And she did. The Bickerstaff's were not the most emotional group of people. They were very cold and unfeeling. She'd stop by to see Vanessa sometimes when she was still living at home, and her parents; there was no warmth there, no love. They were extremely strict and any sign of emotion was considered a weakness.
"I think she just doesn't know how to show emotion or something."
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"No, not really. I'm not sure of what to say. I don't wanna come across as an ass ya know. Knowing her, she'll think I'm just after a quick screw or something, but I'm not. Hell, if that's what I wanted, I could get that on the road."
Illana nodded.
Nick looked up at her finally. "Sorry bout that."
She looked up at him. "It's ok, you're just being honest."
"Look Illana, I really appreciate this, you listening to me and all."
"Nick it's ok. You're a friend, it's what I'm here for."
He stared at her thoughtfully. "We never really talked like this before, it was always the three of us."
"Yeah, I mean you're my friends boyfriend. We spend too much time together and it wouldn't look good."
"Nothing wrong with being friends and talking though."
"True." She smiled at him and he winked. He certainly was charming. She cleared her throat. "Back to the subject at hand. I think you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel, she can't change it if she doesn't know. Maybe she's not aware." She thought back to earlier when Vanessa was there, and how she wouldn't give her a straight answer as to how Nick was acting different. Maybe she did know, and just didn't want to hear about it.
"I think she's aware, I think she's very aware. Have you talked to her lately?"
"Actually, she was here right before you came."
"Oh."
"She did tell me that you were the one acting differently too."
He nodded. "Yeah, I figured she would."
"Please Nick, just talk to her, get it out in the open. You'll feel better, and maybe things will change you know."
"Yeah maybe. Ok I'll try it."
"Good, glad to hear it." She smiled.
"I guess I should be going, don't wanna take up anymore of your time." He announced, brushing bits of potato chip off his hands and pants.
"Not a problem Nick, I'm glad I could help some. Let me know how it goes ok?"
He smiled. "You got it. I'll see you later then." He stood and headed over to the door.
"See ya."
With a wave he left. Illana shut the door and sighed. He really was a great guy; it was refreshing to know that he cared so much about the relationship. She hoped Vanessa realized that too before it was too late. Deciding to clean up in the morning, she turned and headed up to her room.
