Take My Hand
Copyright 2002
Locking up, she turned and started down the steps and turned down the sidewalk, her destination uncertain. It seemed a lot of things in her life were uncertain here lately. She just wanted to walk, to get away from everyone and everything. She didn't care if she wasn't being realistic, if she was running from her problems, she wanted and needed fantasy.
She stared blankly ahead, her head muttled and confused. Everyone had told her... "Erin, you're off in your fantasy world again, come back, that's not reality, this is." Well screw it, she wanted fantasy. Reality was too harsh, too cold, and too lonely.
Wiping at a lone tear that made it's way down her cheek, she continued on. She wouldn't feel sorry for herself, she wouldn't cry over something she had no reason to be crying over. No, she was stronger than that. She'd find purpose, she'd find meaning somehow, even if her life and her dreams were shattered.
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just trying to get by...
Erin turned the corner, keeping her head down as she continued on. What was left for her now? How at twenty-one did she feel so old? As if half her life were already gone, that she had no direction. She couldn't understand it. It was as if everyone else were moving past her quickly and she was moving in slow motion, always one step, one moment behind. She shook her head, it was hopeless, there was no use dreaming, no use fighting anymore against the loneliness that was always there.
So many things she'd do differently, so many choices, so many paths not taken. Who knows where she'd be right now if she'd just said no instead of yes. If she'd just taken the chance, if she'd just done things differently. She'd be out there, out with them, moving quickly, the wind in her face and her dreams in front of her, in reach. But that would never be, never.
Erin stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change when she looked over at a guy who was looking up at the sky. Why did he seem familiar to her? He was beautiful; she couldn't take her eyes off him. She drank him in, feeding off the light and energy he exuded. She took a hesitant step closer and stopped as he turned his head, looking at her and suddenly, he smiled.
"Come with me Erin."
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy
But he was looking to the sky
And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize that everyday
He finds just what he's looking for
And like a shooting star, he shines and he said..
"Excuse me? Do I know you?"
He only smiled. "Come with me Erin, walk with me, let me show you."
"I don't even know you."
"But you do, don't fight it Erin, don't fight me. Let me show you." He said again, taking a step closer to her.
"I-I can't, I have to..."
"You have to come with me. Come on, take my hand." He whispered, offering his hand to her.
She looked at his hand and then up at him, she couldn't fight him, not when he was looking at her so gently, beckoning her so softly.
"Take my hand, do it now, live for now and regret nothing." He went on, his hand still out for her to take.
Erin looked at him a moment longer before reaching out and slipping her hand into his and suddenly they were walking.
Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams
Lie right in the palm of your hand
"I know how you feel." He said suddenly as they walked, going no where in particular it seemed.
"What?"
"I know it, and I feel it Erin. I know all that you've been through and everything you feel you can't have. But you can you know."
She didn't understand, and she didn't understand the rush of emotions that were now sweeping over her from his words, words that to anyone else would seem ordinary, but to her, they were more, so much more.
He pulled her over to a window, a music store.
"There, that's yours." He said softly.
She looked into the window, a guitar displayed there and she felt such longing, such a sweet pain that it was almost too much.
"Don't..." She whispered.
"It can be yours Erin, it can. You have nothing holding you back but yourself. You want it, you go out and get it." He turned her around, setting the guitar in her arms suddenly. "Play Erin, play for me, play for yourself. Let it move you, let it heal your soul."
She could feel the tears welling up as she held the instrument lovingly. Closing her eyes, she strummed gently, the music flowing through her ears, filling her.
"It's so sweet Erin, and it's all yours, it's in you. This can be forever."
She could hear him talking to her through the music, and it made it that much sweeter that much stronger as she played. Slowly she opened her eyes, the guitar now gone. He reached out, taking her hand again and pulled her along with him.
And as he spoke
He spoke ordinary words
Though they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
Her heart was racing; he made it all seem possible, right. Could it really be that easy? Suddenly he pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her waist, stopping in front of another store.
"Was so easy for you before, and now you've seemed to have lost it somewhere." He said quietly.
Erin looked in the window, a pen and some paper displayed. She looked at it longingly; she could see the page filled with words suddenly, her words, her thoughts, her feelings. Her eyes drifted shut, and images filled her head, of her writing, the words flowing and the joy that always came with it. That peace and feeling of something that was just hers. And suddenly she was writing, writing words that seemed to come from deep within her heart and her spirit. Page after page was filled and it was true and it was hers.
"Do not be stifled by fear and insecurity. Find inspiration from the simplest things. Bring back the moment when it was all that you were and find it again. It still is you and it's still your heart. You can take hold of it Erin and make it yours again."
It was as if he were healing her heart, her soul with those words, those simple words. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked up into his eyes, they mirrored the tired weariness of her body, but there was spark there, a spark that had not died out, that was just waiting to grow strong again.
She knew him, in that moment she knew she did. She'd held him in her arms forever, absorbed his strength when she so badly needed it. He was her rock, her exit out of reality and into the fantasy world she so desperately loved.
Erin smiled suddenly, the warmth coursing through her body left her breathless and trembling and yet he gave her strength with those eyes and those steady arms.
And you'd swear those words could heal
And as I looked up into those eyes
His visions borrows mine
And I know he's no stranger
For I feel I've held him for all of time
And he said...
"Take my hand Erin." He smiled.
And she did, it was natural now, it was right. She could stay here forever with him. She would do it now, live for the moment, life for here and she would do it with him.
Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams
Lie right in the palm of your hand
He pulled her close to him, his arms wrapped around her waist as he looked deep into her eyes.
"I want you to never give up, to always follow your heart. Your dreams are yours and you can have whatever you want. I want you always to come with me, I want you to look into my eyes and see what I see. I see a woman with so much ahead of her, so much life and so much love. I see her reaching out and taking it."
Please come with me See what I see
"You can have the stars, have the world if you want. Time can last forever if you make it. It will not fly, tell me you see it Erin."
"I see it, I do."
Touch the stars
For time will not flee
Time will not flee
Can't you see
He smiled at her. "Now go out and get it." He leaned over, brushing his lips over hers softly, whispering to her. "I love you Erin."
"I love you AJ..."
She bolted up in bed, her heart pounding. She ran a shaky hand through her hair. A dream, it'd all be just a dream. She looked around, her bed was empty and the apartment was silent.
She didn't imagine it, she knew she hadn't. He was there, he helped her, he was real. Had it really just been in her mind?
Just a dream, just an ordinary dream
As I wake in bed
And that boy, that ordinary boy
Was it all in my head?
He'd never reached out for her, asking her to go with him. There had never been a walk, she'd never played the guitar and never written what was in her heart. She felt so empty.
Didn't he ask if I would come along ?
Erin slumped back in bed, her heart heavy, so real, it'd seemed to real. She closed her eyes, taking a calming breath and fighting back tears when she slowly opened her eyes, looking towards the door and stilling.
"Erin, come on baby. Let's go for a walk." He grinned.
"Wha-what?"
"Get dressed and let's go for a walk."
She blindly slipped from bed, quickly getting dressed and all the while he stood there, waiting for her patiently.
She finished quickly and walked over to him.
It all seemed so real
But as I looked to the door I saw that boy standing there with a deal
And he said...
Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams
Lie right in the palm of your hand
"Come on, let's go. Take my hand." He offered his hand to her.
She blinked. "A-AJ?"
He smiled lovingly at her. "Your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand. Let's go out and get them."
Her heart burst, the tears streaming down her cheeks, she took his hand and let him pull her into his arms.
And they did.
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just trying to get by
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy
But he was looking to the sky
Ordinary Day - By Vanessa Carlton
