All Rates in the Navy work for "The Fire Controlman".

The Navy's primary mission is to maintain military presence and carry out operations across the globe... In order to do that we blow stuff up. The Fire Controlman is the key to this mission. The following is not meant to offend anyone, but surely will, and should be considered confidential. Keep it between us FC's.

Everything in the Navy is subject to change. Including rates being merged, removed and eaten by dust bunnies. These are just examples of why other rates work for the FC.

Air Rates. (AB, AC, AD, AE, AG, AK AM, AO , AS AT, AW, AZ) All air rates in the Navy in one way or another assist in putting "Friendly” Aircraft (AKA Targets) in the air. This tends to lure “Hostile” aircraft out. Which then FC’s will have to blow them up.

AG (Aviation Aerographer's Mate) They go to www.weather.com and see what tomorrows weather will be like. They give their weather presentation during briefs to soothe the Officers. Real sailors never go outside or give a crap about the weather. We're too busy fixing and operating equipment that blows stuff up. FC's do care about ducting but not about the actual weather.

BM (Boatswain's Mate) They train, direct, and supervise others in marlinespike, deck and boat seamanship; they paint to make the ship look nice. That way when they take pictures after the FC's blow stuff up it looks good. Then FC's get more ribbons. BM's also help FC's get on liberty faster by doing all the work we don't like. BM's Work for the FC's.

CT (Cryptologic Technician) CT's control the flow of messages and information. They sit in a secret room and do strange things that no one knows about. Sooner or later the information they collect is used to blow stuff up. So there for they work for the FC's.

DC (Damage Controlman) Perform the work necessary for damage control. They repair damage control equipment and systems. So if by some means we take an incoming missile, the FC's can continue to blow stuff up.

DK (Disbursing Clerk) Maintain the financial records of Navy Personal. That way FC's get paid to blow stuff up.

DT (Dental Technician) Dentist/assistants. They keep FC's teeth happy. That way the FC's are happy and don't blow stuff up when they aren't suppose too. Clean strong teeth are good for biting. If you touch an FC's console/equipment or food you will get bit.

EM (Electrician's Mate) The operation and repair of the ship's electrical power plant and electrical equipment. They give FC's power so they can blow stuff up.

ET (Electronics Technician) Responsible for a bunch of electronic equipment; communications, cheap radar. They take care of that easy electronics so the FC's don't have too. That way the FC's have more time to blow stuff up. ET's should also take a sanity test. During Techcore they had a chance to become an FC. Not everyone can be a master of lethality and bring destruction to our enemies. Its just in a ET's nature to be a big baby and not want to destroy things.

EW (Electronics Warfare Technician) Operate and maintain electronic equipment used in navigation, target detection and location, and the prevention of spying by enemies. They can determine friend or foe by looking at emissions. If they think it is a bad guy we blow it up. EW’s are also good for bringing FC’s snacks. The EW is the guy who sleeps in combat just a tad less than a OS.(EW's will merge with the CT rate)

FC (Fire Controlman) Maintain and operate weapon systems used on combat ships. Complex electronics are used to ensure correct missile guidance and other such ordnance. This equipment includes as such; Radar, computers, weapons-direction equipment, target-designation systems and range finders. FC's represent the technical and tactical Weappn System experts in the Navy. Warships are made to go to war, and FC's are made to fight wars.

FC (AEGIS) FC's that are in the AEGIS weapon system. They should be considered something different from other FC's. AEGIS is split into elements. Examples such as; SPY, Computer, FCS/ORTS and Display. SPY Techs work on the SPY Radar, the main (and only) Search and Track Fire Control radar for the AEGIS weapon system. Computer Tech's sleep in most of the day. Once in a while they change a tape or answer a phone. FCS/ORTS Techs sleep all day as well, but the sit on the Missile System Supervisor Console and get to push the pretty buttons. Display, they fix consoles and everything else related to AEGIS. Or they do work the computer techs should be doing. There are many different types of FC's. The main purpose of them all is to BLOW STUFF UP!!! Or help in the process in doing so. Without FC's Navy ships would be used as tug boats or crappy cruise liners.

FT (Fire Control Technician)(Submarine)They are FC's underwater. They are our distant cousins and they blow stuff up too!

GM (Gunner's Mate) Maintain and repair gunnery systems. Some times even missile-launching systems. They clean them and paint them up all nice and pretty. When the FC's blow stuff up, the GM's stuff gets dirty. They also load the ordnance on the ship. That way FC's can blow stuff up. They are a form of FC that went horribly wrong early on in the process a million years ago when we were all monkeys. Due to their inbreeding they can't blow stuff up. They enjoy throwing poop, wrestling, and smashing each others heads into FC equipment so FC's have faults to fix. GM's are however evolving and all FC's should maintain a watchful eye on them. Soon they may have 4 arms and several sets of eyes. Which will be used to aim and throw poop better.

GS (Gas Turbine System Technician) Operate, repair, and maintain main propulsion machinery. They are the stinky guys who make sure the ship can move. It sure is hot down in the engineering spaces. About 50 degrees hotter than nice Air Conditioned FC spaces. They ensure the ship gets the FC’s where they need to go to blow stuff up.

HM (Hospital Corpsman) They keep FC's healthy and "happy". They give us cool drugs to make us crazy. Their cure for all you pains and sickness is "Motrin". "Motrin" makes FC's angry, so we blow stuff up.

HT (Hull Maintenance Technician) Responsible for maintaining ship's hulls, fittings, piping systems, and machinery. They are plumbers. They also get to weld some times. They fix the toilets so the FC's can poop. FC's enjoy reading in the crapper about blowing stuff up.

IC (Interior Communications Electrician) Operate and repair devices used in ship's interior communicates systems. They fix phones so the FC's can talk. They also run SITE TV, and stuff like that. So FC's can watch TV. The main thing they do is keep the gyro running, which is very important. That way FC's can blow stuff up.

IS (Intelligence Specialist) Get secret military information. Gather Intel to assist in the destruction of the evil doers. The information they provide will help FC’s blow things up.

MA (Master-at-Arms) Help keep law and order on the ship. That way the FC's don't have to kill everyone aboard. MA’s make FC's happy by letting FC's get away with stuff like "Training Videos". FC's like to watch them. That makes them happy. Then they go blow stuff up.

MS (Mess Management Specialist) They cook food and feed FC's. FC's like MS's because FC's are really hungry after blowing stuff up. Next time you see an MS tell them FC's love them. Their food gives us gas so in combat FC's will always win in a farting contest. Other rates cannot properly digest food that MS's make. Its referred as "Death from Within". It could be considered a weapon or cruel punishment in some Countries. Send them our cooks and they shall surely die. (Recently changed to CS, Culinary Specialist.)

MM (Machinist's mate) Operate and maintain a bunch of stuff for ship propulsion and auxiliary machinery. Aux equipment like elevators, refrigeration plants, air conditioning systems and desalinization plants. They are in the Engineering department. So like most if not all engineers, they keep the ship moving and operating so FC's can go BLOW stuff up.

MR (Machinery Repairman) Skilled machine-tool operators. They make replacement parts for various types of equipment. They some times give or make FC’s parts to help them fix their gear. For example bolts, nuts and gaskets. Some MR’s work on the VCHT system as well. (See HT)

NC (Navy Counselor) Try to get FC's to reenlist, with promises of nice SRB and the endless quest to blow stuff up.

OS (Operations Specialist) Pretend to operate radar’s, navigation and communications equipment. They pretty much clean Combat Information Center and get FC's a coke to drink. They operate a consoles and talk on Red phones. They also are expertly skilled at writing backwards. OS's brake FC's stuff (consoles) so we get mad and blow stuff up. Hey TIC correlate my middle finger in front of your face. OS's love to induce Operator Error Faults into any piece of equipment they touch.

PC (Postal Clerk) Mail man. Makes sure that the FC's get their cookies from mommy. That way the FC's are happy and continue to blow stuff up. (When the OS’s ask for a cookie. FC's will drop it on the floor and the OS's will eat it. No one likes OS's so no one sends them cookies.)

PN (Personnelman) Bug FC's about personal requirements rights and benefits. They also keep records up to date. That way when a FC gets an award it goes into his Service record. That makes FC's happy so they go blow stuff up.

QM (Quartermaster) Steer the ship and skillfully navigate the ship. That way FC's are closer to the stuff they blow up so they can take pictures.

IT (Information Technician) They use to be RM's (Radioman) Operate communications. Like E-mail and load crypto as well. That way FC's can write home about stuff they blew up. Plus the ship can talk to other ships about stuff the FC's blew up. That way the FC's feel good.

SH (Ship's Serviceman) Manage barber shops, ships store etc. That way FC's can have candy that the OS's, ET's, ST's and GM's buy them. The FC's can also get a haircut and look sharp for the pictures after blowing stuff up.

SK (Storekeeper) Supply clerks. They order stuff for the ship. That way the FC's can have new parts for the equipment. Or a new shirt and some pants. SK's get us stuff so we can blow stuff up.

SM (Signalman) Lookouts, use visual signals to communicate. That way they can tell the ship we blew up with no power "Ha Ha you piece of $#!t my FC's blew you up" SM also pick up dead birds that the Fire Control Radar kills. SM also put up pretty flags so the ship looks nice.

ST (Sonar Technician) Look for things long and hard full of seaman. ST's try to find subs. Its like finding a flash light in a bathtub using your ear. But usually the FC's find subs when their periscope pops up from the water. Then the FC's blow the sub up. ST's focus on Underwater Warfare so we can focus on the real warfare areas like Air, Surface and Strike warfare.

TM (Torpedoman's Mate) TM's maintain underwater explosive materials. TM's annoy subs so the sub will finally surface. Then the FC's will blow it up. TM's make it fun for the FC's to think about blowing subs up.

YN (Yeoman) Secretarial work and clerical work. They write things into FC's records so the FC's can blow stuff up. YN's do a lot of paper work. So they are "busy" and can never help FC's. So FC's get mad and blow stuff up. YN's like many other rates have working hours. Please come back tomorrow at 0800.

-Original Feb 2000 -Edited -Edited -Edited

NavyFireControlman@gmail.com