| The Vedas portray how our souls are just droplets in the ocean which is Brahman. If that is the case, then there is no such thing as individuality, in the truest sense. There has to be something that separates one being from another. The only thing that is truly unique to one's being is conciousness of one's self.
The one way I see myself introspectively is through meditation. I do not practive Yoga, but I do let myself go into a state of nothingness. I do not practive Qigong being that I was never mentored under a teacher, but I do feel Qi all around me and in me. I do not believe in deities, for that is purely theology which truly does not have any significance in life. We do not know if there is an ultimate being. We do not know if there is an afterlife, or even reincarnation. What I know is that I am here, today and now. I live in the present. The past was what was that led up to the present. The future is yet to come and it will be determined by the course of actions of the present. So, here are little accounts of my realisations that come upon me, sometimes as a subtle flash. At other times this state comes upon as a moment of me leaving my ever-present state of beingness. And I come back to memorialise it.
As I was sitting in the kitchen one morning, eating cereal, I had a flashback to when I used to be 6-ish. I remembered the things that I used to love, back when I actually had favourite foods. It hit me then. I am not the same me that I was. Yet, here I am, remembering the past. So vividly through the vital act of eating. I am not the same person yet at the same time I am the same person. I was an individual back then with slightly more innocence. I am an individual now with slightly more wisdom and insight. I am an entirely different person than what I used to be, but at the same time my consciousness is the same. This realisation is difficult to accurately express verbally. But I think I have regained some sense of youthfulness, while knowing that I am not getting any younger. The contradiction and the absurdity made sense. Tathata. |
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