Scott Martin

Sooner or later, my non-cycling acquaintances always ask, "So, how many bikes do you own ?"

I've tried being vague: "Oh, a couple." Or apologetic: "I do have several bikes at the moment, but I'm only storing them until the Malaysian Orphans Foundation comes by to pick them up. Poor little tykes...."

But after years of waffling, I've decided to come clean. How many bikes do I own? Not enough.

For starters, there's my top-of-the-line road bike. It costs more than my car, weighs less than my conscience, and lives in my bedroom -- never the garage. This is the rig for group rides and races and centuries. Unless it's raining. Or cloudy.

Which brings me to bike No. 2: the beater. It's older, heavier and dirtier. Like my Uncle Ralph, only more beloved. Think down-tube shift levers, fenders, rear blinkie, and an 8-speed (or is it 7 ?) cassette. The frame's made of a quaint material the ancients called "steel."

Next comes the mountain bike. Because, well, those trails are pretty fun. And every once in awhile everybody needs an excuse to say, "Gnarly, dude !"

Don't forget the cyclocross bike. No good reason for this one, unless a guy likes to spend 45 anaerobic minutes running, crashing and occasionally riding in shin-deep muck for several weekends each fall. Which I do.

Then there's the tandem. When you're single, it's a dandy dating vehicle. When you're partnered up, the unique communication challenges of a tandem will: (a) strengthen a solid relationship, or (b) pulverize a shaky one. Either way, a good thing.

Let's see, that's 5 bicycles. And I haven't even mentioned the errand bike, or the retired racer that's too special for eBay, or...hmm, do you think those orphans could use a unicycle ?

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What, no track bike ? Tell Scott what he's missing at scottmartin@roadbikerider.com

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