Scott Martin

I just spent $200 on nothing. To be exact, 100 grams of nothing.

Let me explain. My bike is pretty tricked out: titanium frame, carbon fork, Dura-Ace group, assorted gewgaws. The only exception is the pedals, clunky old Looks that I could attach to a chain and use to keep my yacht from drifting, if I had a yacht.

My pedals work fine, except when they start squeaking every month or so. Then I slap some clear nail polish on the worn spots and the squeak disappears.

But last week I'm riding up Eureka Canyon with Shane, an ex-Cat 1 who says, "You could drop a half-pound by getting some new pedals."

He unclips a foot and points at his pedal, which looks like somebody has stripped the cage and left just the axle. "Ninety grams," he boasts, then recites how many seconds a half-pound would save on an 8-mile climb, which we happen to be on.

Suddenly I can barely raise and lower my feet because they're clamped to these massive, hideous blocks of pig iron. And didn't I just hear a squeak ?

After the ride I stop at my local bike shop and order some new, 277-gram Dura-Ace pedals. I've just dropped $200 to make 100 grams disappear from my bike.

I guess it would be cheaper to shed a few hundred grams from my body. Cheaper, but not easier.

I've tried the standard strategies: Substitute nonfat salad dressing, nonfat milk, nonfat pork rinds. Thing is, I just eat too much. At least now I healthfully eat too much. If I eat less, I get grumpy and ride slower. Stupid starvation-avoiding caveman metabolism.

So I'll keep putting my bike on a diet.

Let's see : A $150 carbon handlebar would get me about 50 grams of nothing.

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Tell Scott to keep it light at scottmartin@roadbikerider.com

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