24 mars 2005

Scott Martin

I used to dream about someday working in the cycling industry. Messing around with bikes all day. Raking in the big bucks. Beating back groupies with a frame pump.

Then I got a job in the cycling industry. One out of three ain’t bad, right ?

Yes, sometimes in the bike biz you can ride during working hours and pass it off as business, which almost makes up for the industry’s shameful lack of money and groupies.

"Yo, boss. Gotta do some prototype testing on the new chainstay protector. I’ll be back in mumble-mumble hours."

Try that with a non-cycling employer. "Pardon me, Mr. Tyrannous? I’d like to review the third-quarter budget figures during an afternoon bike ride."

"Fine," he’d reply. "Don’t forget to factor in the savings we’ve just achieved by eliminating your salary."

Another cycling-career option is opening a bike shop, something just about every cyclist has contemplated, me included. Mess around with bikes all day, be your own boss, wear an apron at work and not feel silly.

Then I remember that I can barely screw on a plastic valve cap without stripping the threads. "Cut your $500 carbon fork’s steerer tube? No problemo, sir. Uh, tell me again which is that steerer tube thingie."

Plus, I’ll never forget what one industry veteran told me about the financial side of bicycle retail. "Owning a bike shop," he said, "is like bleeding to death from a paper cut."

So I’ve resolved to be happy with my current, cycling-free occupation. No work-sanctioned "test rides," but the pay’s okay. And you can't imagine how many groupies are attracted to the glamorous field of direct-mail marketing.

Or maybe you can.

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If you do have a thing for direct-mail marketers you can tantalize Scott at scottmartin@roadbikerider.com

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