(As of 11.29.02 I am grounded from the computer so I will just have entries spiratically when I can sneack online.)
12.03.02
Today at G.S. I told Jamie about "Mt. Mitchell". She started to crack all of these jokes like "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes" and stuff like that but what really got me laughing was the "Harry Mt. Mitchell" thing. She was trying to guess his middle name and we knew that it started with an "H'". I laughed so hard that I spit out my float thinamabober that I was drinking. I haven't done that since in 8th grade when Dan was like "I like your balls". It feels so good to laugh again. OHH at school we basically had a free day in art because we had a sub. I called that blonde girl Dan's girlfriend so he starts calling me Hootie McBoob and Chesty Lerue and Busty St. Claire. That is from the simpsons. I seriously don't care though. So what if my boobs are kind of bigger then most of my friends. lol. I had to wear my ROTC uniform today. The shoes were so slippery you could not walk on the snow. I swear. It was kind of funny though to see all of these people in uniform sliding through the shortcut to get through the school. And after shool I started to take Patches for a walk when we saw Jack so we stopped to talk and he went with us, then we passed Robert's house and he came out and walked with us and we got in a big snowball fight. It was awesome. Anthony asked me if I wanted to come over to his house and make a snowman with him. OMG. And yesterday he asked if I wanted to go sledding with him. Oi!
11.25.02
I've been so depressed lately but the past couple of days have been an exception. For youth group we stayed the night in the church and I slept right next to the coffin that they had in the place for a funeral the next day. Curtis kept on hanging around Racheal and I can't stand the kid, all he talks about is drugs this and marijuana that and don't forget beer. I swear, this kid is going to end up in prison before he is 20. That is so sick. You know what else is? Wine. I drank the wine at church because I had never tasted it before and was curious. It was bitter and nasty. I can't imagine why people would ever want to get drunk off of the stuff. Then on Saturday me, mom, grandma, aunt Sherry, and Tracy went to Heathers baby shower. There was no one there my age so I was pretty bored, but it was better then sitting around the house doing nothing. I also rented the Rocky Horror Picture Show (my favorite movie) from the library, so I watched that as much as possible. Darren has a new girlfriend... She is one of my friends too so I don't know how to feel right now... I knew that she liked him but I told her that it would hurt me if she went out with him.
11.20.02
I have been sad all day for some reason. It's like I'm continually thinking that if there is a hell then this is it. I have no idea why I am so depressed. Caroline figured it is because people are saying that Darren is screwing me, but I really don't care. I don't know why I don't care, but I just don't. Maybe I even wish that he was... We decided not to use the word "cult" because if someone overheard us, we could get in serious trouble. We skipped lunch today (like we do every day) but this time we left much earlier then usual. Everyone out in the hall got caught. Now I think that our group will be watched more closley so we will have to stay in the lunch room the entire time, unless we got over to the library. That is where I went today. Oh joy. Darren wants to be friends again and so do I but unless he does some serious apologizing then I'm still going to be mad. I wish that it could go back to the way it was soo bad... GOD LIFE SUCKS! I think that I have a crush on John from ROTC. Me and Emily watched him do pushups in the hall for some lady from the Marines. He only did half of what he ws suppose to do. Jeez, it seems that I am attracted to guys that smoke. How weird is that? Oh well, whatever. I think that Dan likes this one blonde girl from art. So does Sarah. Ohhh! Today we used the pastels. I was getting sick of it and so was Mafia (Mike). Dan did the highlights of my picture so I passed with a 4. He loves them soo much it is kind of scary. He is good at using them though. His first picture turned out really good (but I still think that it needed amish people in it) and then he did a second picture of an angel for fun. I loved it.
11. 19. 02
Our cult now has a name "stiches" and our symbol is like a pentacle but instead of a star it is an ankh with three stiches going through it. Today at school a bunch of kids were throwing ice around and one hit a window and left a crack! Hopefully the security camera was turned then so we don't get blamed for it. At G.S. I found out that someone is spreading a rumor around about me and Darren. I'm not sure what exactly it is but I think it is something along the lines of I had sex with him. Liz and Becca weren't really telling me what it was just hinting around it and saying they heared that "it" only happened once. Oh well, I'm sure that I'll find out what "it" is tomorrow. According to almost everyone sitting around me in ROTC I cussed Elysia out yesterday. I seriously do not remember that, all I remember is yelling at her. Alot. I think I said something like "ELYSIA, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT YOU MUCH LESS TALK TO YOU! IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU EXIST!" When Emily found out why I was mad she got all mad at Elysia too and said something like "If you don't have a date to the dance then don't go" to her. Elysia told her to shut up. Go Emily! In art we had this pastel project. I had absolutly no idea what I was doing and you could really tell by looking at it. Dan said that he would help me with it tommorow. I swear, I can't go a day without listening to my Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack. Even right now I have Science Fiction/Double Feature stuck in my head. Talk about a strange thing to get addicted to.
11.18.02
Well. Today was kind of funny. I totally lashed out at Elysia (the bitch) Take that Darren! I realized what a good friend Jamie really is to me. During History I told her about my little suicide attempt and she got all worried and said that if I really needed it she would get me help. I phrased it wrong though. I didn't actually attempt it, but contemplated it. I sat downstairs with a knife to my wrist thinking about the good and bad parts of my life trying to determine if it was worth living. Me and Caroline and Jack skipped lunch and we decided that we are going to start a cult. Jack seemed to think that the whole idea was one big joke but we were both serious. We started to plan it out and decided that we would keep this whole idea "underground" for now. We are going to watch for people who may like to join us though. Then at youth group I found out from Chris H. that during lunch when we skipped that Darren came by looking for me. I don't really know what this means. We did a big debate on CD burning Good or Bad? It was pretty fun actually, but this kid BJ was there. He was the one at the military ball who kept on trying to dance with me and I kept on avoiding him. That was a drawback. Oh and tonight there is suppose to be a big metor shower so I'll probably get up around 4:30 to see it. That is all.
11.17.02
Aww.... I just saw the new episode of Futurama. It was sooo sad. When I saw the ending I seriously cried. Fry's dog waited there for the rest of it's life.... Awww.... Omg.... Now I have that song they played stuck in my head.... Awww....