Aliens Were Responsible for the World Trade Center Destruction!
Thomas Jefferson, the guardian of freedom.
On September 11, 2001, a horrible tragedy struck the greatest country on earth. Innocent office workers, working for the betterment of our country's economy - which in turn betters the world - were struck down in their tracks by a horrible attack on the fortress of safety that they worked in. Thousands died, and our nation mourned this unprovoked attack on freedom and decency.
The perpetrators were soon identified as muslim terrorists, as we all know, under the direction of Usameh Bin Laden, and the world began a righteous hunt for this doer of evilness.
But many questions remain, and some of them are most troubling, in light of the data surrounding the WTC attacks. How did the steel collapse without being heated to the right temperature? Where did all that concrete go? How did the planes manage to slam into the buildings at such close proximity and missing the main girders and still melt the buildings?
Eyewitnesses May Have Seen an Alien Spacecraft!
The truth may have begun to come to light, thanks to the sharp eyes of some New York citizens who witnessed this stunning cataclysm.
Among them is Ernie Winkerstutz of Brooklyn.
Ernie was in his home on 11th Avenue when he heard something. (Taken from CNN.com's 9/12 Report, which has since been deleted from their website.)
"I was sitting in my chair, looking out the window, when I heard this high-pitched humming noise. It was coming from above the World Trade Center buildings over yonder (points). When I ran to the window, I heard all the dogs in the house begin to yelp and bark like a raccoon was treed or something. The missus pointed up above the World Trade Center Buildings, and sure enough, there was a big green disc emitting a yellow light out of it. I couldn't tell for sure what it was, but it sure looked like one of those Alien ships from Attack of the Blood-Sucking Sorority Girls IV on Cinemax, so we didn't take any chances. We got all the dogs and most of the children into our El Camino, and away we went, Thank God! We lost some damn fine cows, though, and those are hard to come by on New York's upper east side, let me tell you!"
While this isn't enough information to build a whole theory on, it becomes more important when collaborated by other witnesses, like Edna Thurbunsinhoffers, who lives across the street from Mr. Winkerstutz.
Her vivid description of the Alien attack was taken in an interview with Judy Parates of Channel 5 Action News on 9/18. Ms. Parates has since died of "natural causes" (Like We Haven't Heard That Before!). In this now destroyed interview, Mrs. Thurbunsinhoffers describes a "Blue Haze" that emenated from a green disc above the WTC shortly before the buildings blew up.
(Edted for Objectionable Content by Me) She said it "... made it $#&^ hard to see the Alien Mothership, but I know it was there, 'cuz the Saints have given me the
powers of clairvoyance, especially St. Boniface. Because of these powers,
I could see through the haze. There was a green disc emitting a blue haze
all about it, like the fuzzy stuff on those *&&%$^% muppets that my
^%$&% little grandchildren watch, those %$#^%&! It was
pumping out all kinds of blue
Based on these descriptions, our team of artists has come up with this rendering of the scene as it really was. For the first time, you will be looking on the truth - or as close to it as we shall ever know.
Apparently, a high-powered beam of energy was used to destroy the buildings and melt the steel girders from the inside out. The planes were a mirage/hologram created by the Alien Craft's mist generators. Thank you Edna!
Where did the Passengers of the Real Airplanes go? Fiji!
All this is well and good, but what about the very real passengers of those airplanes that disappeared over our country's skies? Rather than give away that Aliens destroyed the WTC, the CIA took control of these planes and flew them to Fiji, where the crews and passengers are being held captive.
Yucking it Up in Fiji while their Nation Mourns?
The CIA Compound where the airplane passengers are held is an island paradise!
When will the CIA come clean about this? Probably never. They can't afford to have the nations of the world know that Aliens are among us.
The Identity of the Aliens May be Known By The CIA!
What do these aliens look like? No one can say for sure, but some documents have been made public from a top-secret CIA operation in 1961 called, cryptically, "Operation No-Go Dog Show".
This Document from Top Agent Larry Mullroy records an alien space-craft's disassembly and study.
Were there passengers on board?
One of the most important documents is a picture of an unusual humanoid taken captive at the foot of the World Trade Center:
Is this the face of Evil?
While the declassified documents do not make it clear what this "creature" was doing or what happened to it, some interesting facts have come to light which cannot be ignored. Most importantly, the reader should note the resemblance to the legendary Easter Island monuments that have puzzled experts for so many centuries.
This is, of course, the most we can say without further evidence. Evidence that cannot be obtained without the CIA declassifying more documents - which is highly unlikely. We are left to wonder - is this the greatest Force behind the greatest tragedy of our time?