Cogar the Guardian-Fiend Responds
Thomas Jefferson founded our Great Country, and should not be mocked.
God Bless America!
I'm sick and tired of hearing about how we Guardians are boring or easily led or whatever those idiot freaks say. Everybody knows the truth about all this - some people just refuse to believe it because they're trying to be "different" or "unique", but that's because they're not comfortable with themselves. If they were comfortable in their own skin, they'd drink Beer like the rest of us.
Not a lot of beer mind you, because being drunk in public is forbidden by many local ordinances (Including ORD 8473.02 here in my home county), and can result in fines of $350 or more. The people that get those fines deserve them, though, and I'm glad that our law enforcement personnel are there to exact the rightful punishment on those scum bags who over-do it. Flogging is too good for them, as it is for all lawbreakers and miscreants. Everybody drinks beer, but not everybody breaks the law. That's what makes it wrong.
These stupid freaks should learn to get along in our system and get some respect for the authorities. They need to stop gumming up the works with their stupid protests and books and all that garbage. You don't need books - you've got TV, which is like a book with talking and pictures. That makes it better and more useful. Why the hell would you want to sit in an empty room and read a book when you can turn on the TV and plug yourself in to the thoughts and feelings of millions of people? That kind of lone-wolf tendency is what makes people like Jeffrey Dahmer tick. They should all be arrested and put in jail - jails with Televisions so that they can slowly be brought back around to normalcy. I mean, do the math.
Sure sure, you think it's all fine and dandy for your kid to sit in his room quietly "reading". But that quiet is really the first warning sign. In fact, the good people over at the International Upright Citizen Think-Tank have put together a list of warning signs. I'll paste it in here so you can see something useful for once in your pathetic, bleeding-heart, chaos-filled life. Go do the damn dishes, too. Nobody wants to smell those things!
Shows Little interest in Politics
Often Caught ignoring Chalkboard or TV and looking out Window instead
Disobeys "Loitering" laws or other laws meant for Public Safety and Keeping the Peace
Owns a Skateboard
Reads Books or Comic Books
Learns a Foreign Language
Refuses to eat Meat
Doesn't know what he/she will do with life (Lacks Direction)
Not interested in Economic News Shows on Bloomberg TV
Not a Good Steward
I hope you take heed from this. All you people who pick on us Guardians are on the verge of becoming serial killers, America-haters, or Poor people, all of which will make you liable to be locked in jail or flogged to death (depending on which legislation passes the senate).
You've been warned, all you crackpots out there. Change your life before someone like me has to change it for you. God Bless America.
