ENTP's are Better than Everybody Else
A Scientific Assessment of the MBTI
Thomas Jefferson, who was undoubtedly an NT.
There's a lot of sites out there on this Internet thing claiming that they can give you your personality type and whatnot. And then they go so far as to give you other people, famous and historical, who are also in your personality type. Well... how do they know that? Do they have one of those &^%&^*(& alien time-traveling machines so they can go back and give Alexander the Great an MBTI web test?! HUH? Answer me THAT Mr. so-called MBTI Expert Keirsey and all your little chimp-people who help you! No answer. I await the e-mail.
Until I am satisfied that their results are valid, I am going to use my own method of classifying people by the MBTI. It's quite simple, really. If you're a good person who can think rationally - you're an NT-Rational. If you're a loser, or a fat person, or someone who cries all the time, you're in one of those other categories. This has been scientifically proven by several people. I don't have the time to list the results here. Go waste your own time, ya pinko whiners!
Here's the list. Read with pleasure.
*****ENTP***** Rational, Wonderful, Inventive - The Creative Genius
ENTPs, like myself, are the best of all types. We are clever, fun to be around, and generally wonderful. You all wish you could be ENTPs, but you can't, because you're pathetic losers who wouldn't know real talent if it slapped you with a red whiffle bat. Thus it is only natural that my category has the coolest people in it. Note how most of these are "fictional", that's because we're so rare that you people never meet one and thus have to make it all up. Captain Hook-types hate us more than any other kind. We always have "good form". Don't you wish you did?
Peter Pan, Tigger, Bugs Bunny, Q (Star Trek TNG), George MacDonald, Lewis Carroll, Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet), Ernie (Sesame Street), Dr. Seuss, Glen Baxter, and (The mother of them all) Socrates.
Good ENTP Music: System of a Down, The Sugarcubes, B-52s, Hedningarna, Aphex Twin, The Pixies, Dead Kennedys.
Patron Saint: Loki the god of Mischief
Don't you wish you were one of us, too? We're pretty darn cool. I'm waiting for my portion of Hemlock to arrive by mail.
*****INTP***** Self-Doubting System-Maker - The Introverted Analyst
"Troubled" sorts, the INTP is ALMOST a way cool ENTP, but just doesn't have enough self-confidence to go out there and catch that run-away shadow. This leads them to heavily introverted soul-searching wherein they unearth complicated revelations of self-loathing. Either that or give up home runs in the 9th inning and get mocked by the dog shortstop.
Charlie Brown, Franz Kafka, Fyodor Dostoevski, Trent Reznor.
Good INTP Music: Nine Inch Nails, PJ Harvey, Marilyn Manson, Smashing Pumpkins, Angelo Badalamenti.
Patron Saint: St. Jude
INTP's should stay away from kite-flying, football-kicking, and other competitive pastimes. They are at their best when they face their insecurities and turn them into something clever - like a story about being a bug or something.
*****ENTJ***** The Fiendish General - Fire-warden of Zeus
I think this picture is a sufficient description. Napoleon on the throne. Bow before him or be annihilated.
Napoleon, George S. Patton, Bill Gates, Darth Vader.
Good ENTJ Music: Rammstein, Battle Hymn of the Republic, White Zombie, Anything Teutonic.
Patron Saint: Odin, god of the slain in Battle
I'm not going to say more, lest I be tracked down and demolished. A fully-developed ENTJ gives me the shivers. Fear them, Love them, envy them.
*****INTJ***** Silent but Deadly - The Hand Behind the Throne
They may look serene, but beneath that exterior lurks a labyrinth of plans and machinations. Sometimes good, sometimes evil - always complicated. I'm sorry you have to die now, but it can't be helped - the plans do not call for your intereference.
JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis, Gandalf, Goebbels.
Good INTJ music: Whatever they damn well feel like. Don't mess with it, and leave the volume control alone.
Patron Saint: The Puffer Fish
I've said too much. Any more explanation and they will drip poison down from the ceiling on a string while I sleep.
*****NF***** The Argumentative Crybabies
Unable to sufficiently develop their intellects, this group is most content to support their emotional mud-for-brains thinking pattern with anecdotal, irrational evidence.
Peter Singer, Charles Dobson, Rush Limbaugh, Anybody who has ever been in Greenpeace or the Sierra Club, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Luke Skywalker, Link, Snoopy, Winnie the Pooh.
Patron Saint: All of them.
Good NF music: Cocteau Twins, Enya, Dead Can Dance, Religious Hymns.
They may make the world a prettier place, so we'll leave them alone for the moment, but I'm sure that the NTJs will find a suitable use for their carcasses after the "liquidation" of them and their silly consciences. The NTJs don't like to be reminded, so it's best to just eliminate these people! That flower field would work better as a Tank parking lot anyway, and they'll have something to feed the guard dogs - all at the same time!
Us NTPs, however, usually like NFs - so long as they don't dally in argumentative behaviour. At that point, we hand them gladly over to the NTJs.
*****SJ***** The Glue that Holds Society Together - The Proletariat
When you need unquestioningly obedient masses to carry out your evil bidding without fear of revolt - SJ "Guardians" are your ticket to eternal fame and power. Sure they don't think enough about long-term moral consequences (An annoying habit of the NFs), but that's fine - you don't want them to challenge your authority and promotions are only given to NTs anyway! They're the glue that holds society together. And what a society it is!
Most Political Rank-and-File, Germans, Television Viewers, Free-Mason Members, Beer Drinkers, NRA Members, anybody in an Auto-Workers Union, Captin Hook, Rabbit (Winnie the Pooh), Lucy (Peanuts), At least Half of the US Presidents, Miletus.
Good SJ Music: Top 40 hits
Patron Saint: Whoever the Authorities Tell Them to Worship
It should be noted that NTPs usually have a much harder time with SJs. Not desiring to control them, NTPs usually seek to persuade them, which results in NTPs being force-fed hemlock in the bathtub. We usually just stay out of the way.
*****SP***** The Polite Artist for the Masses
Need something decorated? Haven't had enough of Embroidery? Consider the SP. They're natural decorators - always content to hang a wreath on a tank to "dress it up". In their attempts to be non-conformist, they in fact conform all the more by giving their SJ half-brothers something new to conform to. Entirely harmless, this type is unfortunately not very suitable to the NTJ plans for world-domination. They tend to gum up the works if given any sort of strong ideas (Usually from NP types), so they are best when fed a steady stream of low-grade nonsense that makes them feel individualistic without really being different from anyone else. Either that, or you can sell them cocaine with drain-o in it (NTPs find this a bit harsh, overall, but the CIA has 'convinced' most of us that it's a good idea).
Britney Spears, Jenny McCarthy, Grandma, Janis Joplin, all those people who WrItE LiKe ThIs On ThEiR WeB PaGeS, Bob Ross (Creator of the "Happy Tree"), Hollywood People who joined the Christ Scientists.
Good SP Music: They make their own, usually while wearing Star-Spangled outfits.
Patron Saint: Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith Show
The Final Analysis
IN the final alaysis, it becomes apparent just how great ENTPs are. This chart was prepared by several leading Psychologists, all of whom wish to remain anonymous. Just gaze upon its scientific validity and be ashamed of your lower status. Yes. BE ASHAMED! I've got the science on MY side!