Let's Get Back to Reality
Dispelling the rumors and myths around Meat.
This is a meat-carrying animal, much in the way that a Sheep is a wool-carrying animal.
Alright, folks, it's time to get back to reality and stop all this nonsense. For too long now, we've let a bunch of wackos and nutcases shape our understanding of what we eat and how it gets there. Yes, that's right - thanks to postmodernism and the left-wing agenda (led by the homosexuals in our schools), most people walk around today thinking that those tasty sausages on their plate from the flesh of slaughtered animals! Well, I say it's time we got back to reality and live the way our forefathers did - with the full knowledge that meat is a harmless byproduct of the farming industry, and was passed down to us from God above.
It's really quite simple - Meat is grown on some kinds of animals (not all, mind you). It's a sort of sack that hangs off the side and is gently clipped off by the farmer (when it grows too large) and then lovingly packaged and sent to your grocery store. The animal is then free to re-grow more meat which can be happily re-harvested by your local family farmer once again. It's a beautiful, natural cycle - and it's so damn pretty, I'm not sure why Disney hasn't made a movie out of it yet - probably because they're all homosexuals and liberals who want to promote the opposite lies to our children.
I mean - a simple retort to those who stupidly claim that the animal has to be killed to get its meat is this: How often have you driven through the country and seen an empty farmyard? They're always full of cows, right? Now, if cows were killed for their meat - we'd eventually run out! But we don't! There's always cows there, and there's always farmers harvesting their meat, as anybody with as extensive of a farm background as I have would immediately see.
Now, I'm certainly no conspiracy theorist. We'll leave that to the kooks and wackos who forget to bathe daily - and probably think that the World Trade Center was blown up by Jews or the government (Or Jews in the government), or some such nonsense. But despite my anti-conspiracy leanings, I have to confess that I have seen a clear, concerted effort on the part of many leftists in our society to discredit and malign meat. Oh yes, I know you may find this confusing, since many leftsist do, indeed, eat meat, but that shouldn't surprise you. Those people are some of the most two-faced, guilty-ridden nincompoops on the planet.
And guilt is really the name of the game here, by promoting that meat is the product of dead animals, they're trying to indoctrinate you and your children into feelings of guilt and shame. Yes, they want to get you to move away from a meat-centered, God-loving life and towards the horrible excesses of their homosexual-type lifestyles.
Some anti-meat fanatics at a rally inside the Fort Wayne Junior High School (!) in 2001. They took time out from their anti-meat propaganda to party, do illicit drugs, and generally pervert America's youth.
Just like the lies about Native Americans being slaughtered by American troops, the Liberals seek to submerge you in a sick cycle of guilt and self-hate - so that, when the smoke clears, you'll accept their new agenda and become a slave to their left-wing ideals! Well, we'll put a stop to that!
Okay, so we know they're trying to discredit our government and our way of life by telling us meat comes from dead animals, but what are the specifics of their claims? In short - how do they work? Well, as you'll see, they connect a series of totally unrelated points together to paint a bewildering and silly picture of the meat industry. It may be hard to follow, but knowing how your enemy thinks is the surest way to victory, as George S. Patton (a great patriot) once said!
As you can see in this illustration, the conspiracy nuts on the left have constructed a veritable spider web of conspiracies and shadowy dealings to explain how meat gets to your table. Many in the ivory towers of Academia have spent long hours piecing together unrelated information into a silly scheme, which they intend to use to fool the uneducated into believing.
Let's look at these points more closely.
Meat Comes from Animals. Now, we all know that meat comes from animals - nobody really doubts this. Like the Nazis, these people start out with a very rational, truth-filled premise (like military power equating with moral prerogatives), and then warp it completely into something unrecognizable. Just watch!
Nazis and Aliens are Involved! I mean, it's not complicated enough that there's all these confusing boxes and arrows all over the place, but they have to go and add nazis and aliens. If that doesn't allow you comfortably throw out the whole thing, I don't know what does! After all, we can always discount an entire argument, logically, when one part of it is shown to be kooky. And oh is this part kooky! Did we even land on the moon, you fruitcakes??
Unlike this weak-minded, muddy conspiracy theory, the truth is actually quite simple and clear, throwing out all that post-modernist doubt and angst in favor of clear, honest presentations. Watch as Occam's Razor slices through the lies and shows Conventional Wisdom to be exactly like our forefathers knew it would be - Always right!
Note the simple, clear flow of this beautiful, God-ordained structure! From top to bottom, a flow of righteous authority assures that your plate is practically a sacrament of the church. God and Government working together to help feed your family. It makes me want to weep, I am so overcome with patriotism.
Now, you may be asking yourself "What does God think about meat?". Well, thanks to Dr. Dobson and the many helping hands in the American Christian church - we can safely tell you! God has a steak three times a day! The old bearded guy can't get enough of ground chuck! In fact, He liked meat so much, that He created us to eat it. That's what all those flesh-tearing teeth and ultra-short intestinal track you have are for!
So when someone tells you that your meat is the flesh of dead animals, look them straight in the eye and show them up for what they are - pawns of the liberal, God-hating establishment. They'll run scurrying away like the rats that they are, and you can return to your grocery shopping. Don't forget the bacon! The pigs will thank you!