You are the Wind beneath my Wings
Gross! A picture of some old guy!
Okay, so, I'm supposed to do this web-page and junk, which will be totally awesome, because then everybody will get to see my really great street sign collection, and my poetry. Yesterday, Alisha (she's my bestest friend - I'd be nowhere without her!) and I were planning our trip to New York city, and I thought - wouldn't it be great to make a web page about this? We could record our thoughts in an on-line journal, where all the songs we think of on the way would be recorded. And all the adventures! It'd be just like that one scene in Sweet Home Alabama where that Blonde chick goes on a road trip to, like, find herself and junk. We would be doing that, except we'd never go to the South, because it's full of black people and old cars. Megan (my bestest friend - I'd be nowhere without her!) says that she wants one of those Crazy VW Beetles! you know, the ones with the flower pot! Well, they certainly don't have THAT in Alabama, and so I don't know why Reese wants to go there. She must be getting paid alot. But anyway, our road trip to New York would make a TOTALLY great movie! Thanks for the idea - whichever of my bestest friends wrote it on my white board!! You are totally the wind beneath my wings!
So, okay. Here's the plan, internet people! We still need $8,000 to make our goal, and that isn't gonna be easy. Me and Laura (my bestest friend - I'd be nowhere without her!) decided to go apply at this way crazy joint downtown, to earn money, right? Well, it's totally cool - you just hang out and talk with the guys that come in. And they pay you ALOT of money - I mean, ALOT. Sometimes you have to, like, have sex with the old guys, which sucks because they're old and smelly and grab you alot, but it pays SO well! And I just remember that I'm so pretty and special because men wouldn't pay just ANYONE $200/hr for this! I mean, that raggy ho Joellen on the third floor, there's no WAY a guy would pay her anything like that. Come to think of it - it's a kind of privelage to get this kind of work, because it means I'm totally HOT and IN CONTROL. Men have taste - even if they're old men, with fat guts and genital warts. And, it's okay, because Sara (my bestest friend - I'd be nowhere without her!) she like shows her boobs to guys all the time for FREE, and junk. So don't like lecture me or anything - I know what I'm doing. I watched Xena and Buffy - I can take care of myself if it comes down to it. And besides - like, let him who is without sin cast the first stone, and junk. Besides, I'm only doing it for awhile, and I wear glasses and junk. so people will have to take me seriously, and like, respect my opinions on politics. I'm going to be a Psychologist, after all, and THEY make good money! So don't go dissing me, or I'll give you a karate jump kick. Tough Grrls RULE!!!!!!
So when we go to New York, we're TOTALLY going to rent a big van! One of those ones with all the tables in it, and the TV so we can watch Dawson and stuff! My dad says that we should make sure whatever car we take is in good shape, but DUHH! Hello, dad? Of course it's in good shape - it's a CAR! They always work, unless they're OLD. He's so sexist because he thinks that girls don't know anything about cars. I totally already know how to change the timing fluid on this van - I could do it with my eyes closed, that's how with it I am in mechanical stuff. Besides, if there's any major problems, Sara can show some dude her boobs and then he'll fix the car FOR us. DUHH! Sometimes I really don't get my dad. I mean, I HAVE fashion glasses on, which should tell him I mean business, and I take my intellect seriously. I mean, seriously..!
So, we're going to stop at every really cool place that no one else would ever think to stop at. Like GAS STATIONS in little towns! I KNOW!! OMG! It'll be SOOO hilarious to go in and buy belt buckles and cigarette lighters! And we can take pictures by crazy signs, like ones with dirty meanings, like "Dangerous Curves"!! All the way out, I swear we're going to sing. Maryann (One of my bestest friends - I'd be nowhere without her!) does this totally hilarious thing where she makes a hooting sound over and over. At first nobody got it, but now it's an "in" joke, and we all totally crack up whenever she does it. And the singing will be a way to like share our feelings and bond as WOMEN. I mean, men just wouldn't understand - they're just into grunting and stuff. They don't understand poetry, or make-up, or literature, or deep stuff like that. Whenever I meet a guy, all he wants to do is get my clothes off - which is so DUMB, because - I mean, it's not like I'm WEARING much anyway! Hello?! It's the year 2002, bras were so LAST decade! If they have a problem with my womanhood, they shouldn't go out in public, where I am. I swear - guys are so shallow. They only look at my boobs and don't want to think about me as a PERSON. I mean, some guys are polite and junk, but they're all fags and losers who don't drive Honda Civics and weight lift, so who would want them anyway!? Hot guys always turn out to be creeps! It's a sucky rule of life.
So okay. Here's the poem I wrote for the beginning of our trip to New York!! Can you believe it? It's SO exciting. Carrie (One of my bestest friends - I'd be nowhwere without her!) is going to write a song for it, with her guitar.
There ain't no way
That we'll do what they say
'Cuz we're sisters together
No Matter what the weather
Ain't nothing gonna stop us wishin'
'Cuz we're girls on a mission!
YAYY! Wasn't that totally good?? It reminds me of when I was in high school band (last year, before I started college) and we all got on the bus and totally bust out singing. It was so great, I started crying. I love you guys! You are totally the wind beneath my wings!