God Bless Sweet Verchina


Verchina is the most beautiful place in the world.  There are three regions of the city of verchina: pimpsylvania [home to the pimps and whores], new bangkok [home to the ninjas], and the fellatial estates [home to the robot factory workers].  the bay that strattles the "legs" of pimpsylvania and new bangkok is entitled xpuntang bay.  when originally settled, this bay was called pun-tang bay, but due to unforseen circumstances the name was changed soon after.  none the less, these waters have seen a lot of action from numerous vessels.  at the apex of the bay is a high traffic port, and not to far off the coast of this port is dabut.  also along the southern leg of verchina in new bangkok, flowing from the fellatial estates, is the yellow river.  on the northern side of pimpsylvania, the pleasant beaver river flows from the large peaks further east.  as one travels further up the "body" of verchina, they would arrive upon the historic our lady of the evening mission.  this mission is located at the base of verchina's twin peaks, mount titulous and mount nippelson.  furthur into the fellatial estates, one will find one of the deepest wells in the world near the nick bannan inc robot factory.  the factory is sandwiched by the two lakes in verchina, lake sum-dum-ho and lake mung-ching-wang.  recent additions in the verchina city limits are verchina international speedway, the verchina ninja academy, and verchina field.  The speedway is located in a residential neighborhood by the deep well near the head of the pleasant beaver river, and is home to some of the finest scooter racing in the region.  things can get very fast in that neck of the woods.  the ninja academy was just discovered recently because it had been hidden from the public by the ninjas since its construction in 1934.  the best ninjas in the world have been trained here, and you can hear them sometimes at night yelling their motto to their instructors: "hit em hard, hit em fast, mop up afterwards."  Verchina Field is home to football games for both team verchina and team zooass.  It is located near dabut in pimpsylvania.  this field is known for its bush in the end zone, that many players will jump into when they score.


flag and motto


"Kun-ching Ponglong Pun-Li"  - "It's not the size of the boat it's the seamen on board"


O Verchina

A Nick bannan 55% f production         To the tune of o canada       


Click play and sing along


        O verchina         

beautiful and cheap

sailors will come

to spend some time in thee

with your glorious peaks

and silky fields

and your pimps so strong and smooth

everyone wants to be with you

like a chick with real nice...personality

o verchina

beautiful and cheap

o verchina

we'd smack a ho for thee

o verchina

kun-ching pong long pun-li



Ye oldE history of verchina

Founded in 1869 by ninjas and chinese prostitutes, verchina soon became a popular stopover for sailors and merchant seamen.  ancient legend says that the port of verchina was widened and deepened by a while named moby dick who after being lubricated by colliding with an oil tanker and being unable to see, consistantly rammed the inlet, making the port have plenty of room for all incoming boats.  the north side of the bay was heavily populated by the ladies of the evening, while the southeast drew the ninja population.  The whores adopted the name pimpsylvania in honor of their bosses.  the ninjas adopted the name new bangkok for their sector.   in the midsection of verchina, the our lady of the evening mission was erected in 1969, with the head of the monks holding the missionary position.  maaaany men in verchina have held the missionary position.  Around 1984, nick bannan inc robotics built the world's finest robot factory on an old strip mine between lakes sum-dum-ho and mung-ching-wang on the northeast side of town near the base of mounts nippelson and titulous.  This provided ample opportunity for jobs for those not involved in the skin or murder trade.  A large suburban sector developed around the factory and the forest was shaved to allow for further development and easier access to the port.  The suburban areas swelled even more with a population surge from the numerous illegitimate children being produced as a fruit of the labor of the whores. 


The mayor of verchina is leon phelps.  he is truly a verchinaman.  leon lives and can always be found at dabut (uh yeeeah, that da butt). 

past mayors of verchina include larry flint, woody allen, john holmes, hugh heffner, ron jeremy, shaft, and gary coleman.  the mayor does not head any of the departments of the government, there are commissioners elected by the people of verchina that serve life terms.  the commissioners then select the mayor on a basis of "pimpaucity" and can be replaced at any time if another person has the appropriate "pimpaucity".  the major defects of this system of government are eliminated in verchina.  the lack of a head of the commissioner is erased due to the mayor becoming the head of commission.  the commissioners will never be able to build a huge empire because leon deals it out as he feels-he is no commissioner's bitch.  there are 7 departments of the verchina government:

1. taxation: Due to the large amount of regulated prostitution and gambling, the tax on private citizens is relatively low

2. Sanitation: Like most cities, the trash is collected weekly by the skankier hoes, and the recycling is divided into three departments-paper, plastic, and rubbers.

3. Police: The police force is made up of wise-cracking robots donated by nick bannan inc robotics.

4. Parks and recreation: parks are nothing more than an area for prostitutes to gather.  recreation is pretty much non-existent in verchina, most prostitutes keep themselves very busy and entertained at work.

5. Water Service: The town's supply of water comes from desalinization plants along Xpun-tang bay, pumps on lakes sum-dum-ho and mung-ching-wang, and a very deep privately owned well located near the nick bannan inc robot factory.  Some water also comes from the pleasant beaver river and the yellow river.  tell me, have you ever been down the yellow river?

6. Fire: The fire team consists of a volunteer prostitutes brigade.  When things get hot, you'll be sure to find them in the middle of the action.  They put out. they love the fire pole.

7. Street maintenance: Very little need for street maintenance.  the streets are short and narrow with numerous street corners.  the sidewalks on the corners on the other hand are under a lot of use.  If potholes or sidewalks need work, the robotic workers will do the job.

Economic plan

A majority of the inhabitants of verchina work as pimps, prostitutes, professional ninjas, or robot factory workers.  The commissioners are very lax on ethical rules, allowing the prostitution and hired assassin trades to flourish.  the influx of sailors, loggers, and other seamen also helps.  Also, the city is home to the largest distributor of low grade humanoid robots.  The number of jobs in the pimping and robotics industry is rapidly growing.

growth projection

The town started as a high traffic port, and the population spread like herpes into the fertile fields nearby.  The ninjas live in New Bangkok with a selective immigration policy, allowing only fellow ninjas to move in, spreading down the "leg" of New Bangkok.  The pimp population has grown immensely recently.  the Hippie and pimp population grew in the 70's at the highest rate in Pimpsylvania while the yuppie and factory worker population grew in the 80's in the Fellatial Estates.


The fellatial estates is zoned residential, except for the robot factory which is zoned industrial.  New Bangkok and pimpsylvania are both zoned commercial.  The fellatial estates is zoned residential because the residents want to live within the vicinity of the robot factory, because numerous people do work there.  New Bangkok and pimpsylvania are zoned commercial because the pimps and whores work the corners and the ninjas are hired killers who work for the pimps when people don't pay on time.

20 year projection plan

Currently the population of verchina is 16,969.  If you break the population down, 25% are whores, 25% are ninjas, and 50% are robot factory workers.  All was good in Verchina, as people were having good times due to the lack of regulations by the government.  Then out of no where an unnamed Indian immigrant (named ravi pandey whose address is 2117 Wayfaring Dr. reynoldsburg, oh 43068 and phone number is (614) and harass him) introduces a new strain of deadly herpes that starts an epidemic in the whore population.  the herpes then begins to spread exponentially through the entire population.  since this evil strain lies dormant for 5 years before developing lethal symptoms, no one knew the ramifications of this problem.  this disease became so wide spread that in 2006, when the deaths began, the entire whore population and 40% of the robot workers were infected.  by 2011, the population falls to 200 whores, no pimps, 1,000 factory workers, and 4,500 ninjas.  Because of this, the ninjas are able to overthrow the government of verchina.  the robot workers resisted, resulting in a civil war entitled the war of  Dabut.  The robot workers are overmatched, so they decide to program the robots to combat the ninjas.  By 2015, the ninjas have been defeated, but the robots develop self awareness.  the robots then quickly defeat the herpes-weakened workers and take over verchina.  the only humans left alive after the herpes epidemic and robot purges are young children who are not infected with the evil herpes.  these kids are enslaved by the robots in 2022.

Yet Leon Phelps still lives and dreams of a new resistance...





it all started with 4 guys and a dream.  the government class was never the same.

The group

Jared Smith, Nick bannan, nick chuha, paul himmelspach

special thanks to

mr. lanier for finally quitting trying and letting our creativity peak

leon phelps for being mayor of verchina for life

all the krackas who read and support verchina

ravi pandey for ruining verchina

brian for telling me how to make this


Created on december 1, 2001 by Jared Smith