Meghan
A corndog is better than Jackson Berkey, but Joshua Bell is better than a corndog.

Dude! We can name your toe Ping!

On the couple sitting across from us at the comedy club where we saw Mitch Hedberg:

They would have horrible, whiny little children.

On the answering machine:

I hope your camping trip was fun -- which you're currently on, but when you get this you won't be. Duh. I have to go to bed. Good night.
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"What do you do when Meghan thinks you're Satan?"

(by Erin; hilamonster thinks this should be sung to the tune of "How do you solve a problem like Maria?")