What's the Story, Mornin' Glory?

Look, you won't die fromt his bullet Harry, but you'll wish you had!

Big Doll House
(1971)

     Marnie Collier (Judy Brown) has just been sent to a prison in the Philippines. Ninety-nine years for the murder of her rich husband. In her welcoming she is checked inside (literally) and out before put in a cell with five girls Alcott (Roberta Collins), Grear (Pam Grier), Harrad (Brooke Mills), Bodine (Pat Woodell), and one more girl. During her first night she’s almost set aflame by one of her cellmates. The girls suspect she’s there to spy on them and they give her a swirly in the communal toilet. The next day a funeral is held. Alcott believes that the girl who died, O’Connor, was killed by unnatural causes, she also believes that she is next. Later the girls bond over their life stories. Bodine is caught having uncensored mail and she’s sent into isolation where the head guard strips her down to her undies (sans bra) and she’s whipped while a person in white sits in the corner and watches. She returns to the cell, badly beaten. She proposes that they escape to one of the girls, but first they have to get Collier out from Grear’s watchful eye by challenging her to a mud wrestling competition. Will they escape or while they die in the sexual torture chamber beneath the jail?


You Learn Something New Everyday...

Swirlies are the best way to flush out a fink (Aha!)
A person's voice is distorted when they scream.
Zap is spelled r-a-p-e.
It's best to stud your best racing cockroach.
Drugs just make you want to dance.
The girls in jail don't miss freedom, good food, or private bathrooms...they miss the men.
It's best to plan a breakout really loudly.
You want to silence a prisoner? Kidney punch all the way.

Zing!

There weren't really any good lines but when one of the girls was fighting against the guard and the head guard told her to silence the prisoner, she did a hilarious kidney punch. Actually..everything from Harry's mouth was hilarious because he sounded just like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. Imgaine that voice talking about getting raped by a girl. Hahaha.

Simon Says...

     I’m not quite sure what type of “exploitation” flick this is. My guess would be sexploitation, but there isn’t actually that much sex in it. However, this was a record amount of boobies I’ve ever encountered in one movie that wasn’t porn. I counted 13 separate sets of boobies, one clear butt shot, one attempted man-rape, all girl shower scene, sexual torture devices, voyeurism, and two separate fingering incidents (one guard x girl, the other, man x girl in order to get drugs) in 93 minutes. Phew. This made quite the drinking game.

     Anyway, the fact that it’s an exploitation flick means that the plot was pretty crappy. Yes, I was expecting a plot, silly me. There’s no real main character. You think it’s Marnie, but she’s actually not in it that much. Actually, all the girls get equal story time, but their stories aren’t that interesting. The best characters were Burt and Ernie (Fred and Harry), the two bumbling guys that brought supplies to the prison. Harry sounds like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite and Fred’s only wish is to be raped by a prisoner-ette. In all, this movie is pretty mindless and a good deal boring. It had its moments, but not enough. There’s a lot of eye candy and catfights to keep your average male entertained. But, I hate, hate, hated the ending. After all this stuff that happens, the big breakout, the kidnapping, the gun fight, and the explosion… Marnie finally escapes and is hitchhiking out of the jungle and she’s picked up and sent back to jail. Oops. Sorry, did I spoil the ending? Trust me, if you’re picking up this flick, it ain’t for the gripping storyline. Anyway, the ending was crappy. It was a million times crappier just because I couldn’t find an ounce of sympathy or even mild like towards any of the girls. Still, Marnie should’ve gotten away. I think though, she was meant to because the last line is dubbed in. I wonder why they did that? Maybe the 70’s censors didn’t like it or something. If you like girl cat fights, mud wrestling, electrocution through boobies, boobies in general, food fights, angry eye gouging, cat carrier pigeons, shootouts and showdowns then this is the flick for you. As for us...we give Big Doll House

Two Burt Reynolds! Two Burt Reynolds!

That Wasn't so Bad Was It?



Relieved
I was left Feeling: Relieved, didn't think I was going to make it a few times there.