Mean Machine
[DVD Info]

Danny “Mean Machine” Meehan (Vinnie Jones) is a washed up football (soccer to us Americans) player who killed his career by talking a bribe to throw a game. One day while drinking and driving, he is chased by the cops (who don’t succeed in pulling him over but do intervene him at a bar) and he assaults both the officers. He is sentenced to 3 years in a high security prison where everyone hates him and the guards are violent and underhanded. The Governor of the prison wants him to coach the prison’s football team but he’s warned by the chief of the jail that if he accepts the job, he’ll make Danny’s life a living hell. Instead Danny proposes the idea of a match between the prisoners and the wardens (completely off the record). With the help of his friends Monk (Jason Statham), Massive (Vas Blackwood), and Doc (David Kelly) he’ll form a football team full of misfits who are ready to get back at the guards after years of abuse…but will history repeat itself? Will Danny throw the game for a shortened prison sentence?

Inmates have free roam of the high security prison.

"I’m in here for drunken assault.” " ~Danny.

Nitro is really annoying. I wouldn’t eat the food after he dished it out in the cafeteria…the way he spits all the time!

Heheh, the Governor’s eyebrows…!

This is a truly awesome movie. I haven’t seen the movie it was based off of (The Longest Yard with Burt Reynolds) but I can already predict that this movie was way more awesome (no, it’s not biased…just because I LOVE Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham…and I dislike Burt Reynolds). You gotta love the British humor and all. Of course, technically, this movie doesn’t make sense (i.e.: why do dangerous criminals in a high security prison get to mill around like a free man and how they get to gather in groups where they could become uncontrollable mobs at any second) but it makes it all the more awesome. The one liners and dancing (by Jason Statham) were really amusing. One thing that could have been improved on, is if they made other characters besides Danny grow. Everyone else is pretty one dimensional...but that's really nitpicking. I just wanted to know why some of the other people were in there. If you haven’t seen this movie you should go and check it out right away. This is a truly awesome flick that will be considered a classic for years to come. Because of this, the jury gives this flick:

(Excited and Happy...all at once!)

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