Valentine
[DVD Info]

Paige Prescott (Denise Richards), Shelley Fisher (Katherine Heigl), Kate Davies (Marley Shelton), Lily Voight (Jessica Cauffiel), and Dorothy Wheeler (Jessica Capshaw [she’s on The Practice!]) are childhood friends. One night at their 6th grade dance, a boy named Jeremy Melton asks each of them to dance and each one of them cruelly turns him down. Thirteen years later, all the girls are getting creepy valentine cards and one by one they’re hunted down by a man in a cupid mask and killed. Could it be the one they spurned long ago? Or someone using the past to scare them…

There's never a good time to ask if you want to have a threesome.
Never have "I'm-sorry-you-were-arrested-because-of-me" sex.
When you want someone to "wax it", make sure there are no candles around.

"You brought me up here to show your penis...how sweet." ~Paige.

How come Denise Richards always plays a slut or a bitch...or both?? She's really good at it.

What the Angel?? Why was David Boreanaz in this movie as Kate's boyfriend? And why did they have to make an angel joke/reference?? Whhhhy?

This flick was neither scary nor thrilling. It was predictable and kind of a chore to watch. None of the characters were very likable. All the girls were bitchy, Dorothy spent the whole movie whining about everything, and what the Angel?! I can’t get over it…he looks so douche-y it was hard to take him seriously. I also found it hard to believe that these girls were in their younger/mid-20’s. They could pass as 30 the youngest…and Angel looks like he’s in his 40’s. Blech. And the people in this movie had to be the stupidest people EVER. Seriously…ever. If I ever got a phone call that sounded like someone was in an elevator…I wouldn’t go check out my building’s elevator. I’d be like, “That’s weird,” and go about my merry way. Who goes to investigate a strange sound in a public building? I’m sure there are people in it. Duh. What was up with the nose bleeding thing too? I mean, besides being able to identify the killer...it seems pretty weird that no one would notice this before hand. One thing that was cool is the way and the order the girls turn the boy down determines when and how they die. Spiffy. Anyway…in all…this was a predictable, non-scary flick. You pretty much just watch it to the end to see if you were right about who the killer is. And chances are…you are right. Go figure. Because of this, the jury gives this flick:

("Did it have to be so Obvious?")

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