All our dreams may come true
Because it is me
Who is the love
Of you
" Look here, it is the sea below! How beautiful it is! ", - the five years-old child cried, looking out in a porthole. His mother, a beautiful young woman, smiled. Her child has never seen a sea. A man was sitting near the young woman, apparently being her husband. He could not be called handsome, he was the same as any other man, but with little red moustaches. They were flying in the plane, there was the Black sea below. The young woman looked in a porthole. The light-blue sky was all around. Light-blue ? it was his favourite colour. The couple was flying above clouds, white, fluffy and light, they seem being made from the gentle cotton wool.
The young woman closed her eyes. Six years ago she was flying exactly to the same town, in the same plane, but absolutely with other dreams and ideas. Then, being almost a child, she was dreaming about her future wedding gift ? a trip to the sea with him. She wanted to show him the sky, its beautiful blue colour. They would kiss above clouds, and a gentle and transparent light-blue colour would be all around below them. Light-blue ? it was her favourite colour. She would look in his big large eyes, and would see herself in them. And the reflection of their happiness.
The young woman was thinking about her past. She pressed the handle of an armchair so tightly, that her oval long nails left light traces on it.
- Are you all right?, - her husband asked, trying to understand what is going on.
- Everything is all right, - she answered and smiled to him with a charming smile. She was always smiling in such a way, attractively and abstractly at the same time, as if she was thinking about something else, to what there is no access of others. Her husband saw it, but tried not to pay attention, thinking that if he does not tell her about his ideas, there would be no ideas like that.
The plane softly landed, and a car was already waiting for them to take the couple to a seaside town, to a hotel.
All the time while they were in a car her husband was hinting about some surprise, but only when they approached a little clean hotel, and got to their number, she understood, what it was about. Her husband knew that she had been to this town and she liked it much, so he found out the name of the hotel from the old documents and in what number she had stayed that time.
When they entered the number, she has seen that really nothing has changed there.
Despite of the flight, her child was enjoying himself, and it seemed that he has not got tired at all. She told her husband where it is possible to find restaurant and asked him to feed the child. She wanted to remain alone. When the door closed behind them, she started looking carefully around, her glance noticed familiar subjects - here is a little picture on a wall, about what she was thinking that time, many years ago, when she was look at it?..
Suddenly, she heard the steps on a corridor. Thinking that her husband forgot something, she opened the door - young man and nice girl, probably, young married, were trying to open the door to their room, but they were constantly laughing and kissing, they were busy with themselves and saw nothing around. The young woman closed the door silently. Why could they be happy?
Her child run in the room. Happy and pleased, he wanted to go to the sea.
Having passed some familiar for her streets, they saw the sea. Warm and tender, it licked her feet and sprinkled her child by foam. After a swim in transparent water, the girl stood on a coast. She made her long hair free, and it scattered on her shoulders. The drops of water were sparkling on her ideal body, reflecting the solar rays.
Then they have decided to have a bite and go to a cafe which has a view of the sea. Her husband was trying to please to her all the time, and he did not understand why she was so sad - it was a wonderful summer day, the sun was shining, and everybody was enjoying the sea and holidays.
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The same restaurants near the quay, the same shops of souvenirs. Her child saw a little ship in one of the souvenir shop. " Let's buy it, "he said, looking at his mother. He looked so much as she, only eyes being brown. " You are not going to buy it, are you? ", her husband asked. " It is possible to buy something serious for this money ". The child sighed, but said nothing. He knew that his mother would not refuse him. When he would grow up, he would understand, that she brought up him by the help of her love and intuition. " Which one do you like more?", she asked. The child took the one with light-blue sails. They went out of the shop and turned to the quay. Not knowing clearly why, her husband was feeling guilty, as if he had committed a crime.
She left the child to play on the beach, and her husband to look after him, and she decided to have a walk along the coast of the sea. The sun came out from the clouds, and its light transparent rays were painting the iron-coloured waters in pink. The surf sent foamy waves to her feet, and fresh wind from the sea caressed her hair. Suddenly she recollected the words " I shall love you ", once the man told her these words, the man whom she had loved... Or only thought that she had loved? She still remembered the pieces of his phrases, his ideas... The turn of a key to get into an empty apartment, a glass of orange juice, the ticking of a clock on a wall. Why they were ticking? Were they putting him more far or more close from here? She knew for some reason that he would be taken away from her, but she did not want to believe it. Once he came to see her. " I will have a new position at work, a high one ", he said. The girl was silent and tried to listen to him. He continued.... " And I marry. " As If somewhere away she heard the noise of the broken cup. Or was it a dream, not a cup? Maybe, it was to the best?...
And then a sound of the slammed door.
The time, continuous, dragged out was passing, pulling. Dry eyes, regret... not because of him, but because of her feelings towards him.
The evening before the wedding. The silence, some thoughts and ideas, the same question to herself ? should I? And the same answer - and what will change? The future husband is at least educated and wise, brought up in a good family.... Unloved...
A strange wedding. False smiles, false speeches, sad cafe, guests, almost all of them meant nothing for her... They did not go to a wedding trip; why we should spend so much money, her husband said.
The time was dragging. Sometimes its current was interrupted by a sound of music, casually seen picture or by forgotten notes. Then the time stiffened, and she felt that everything was not like she dreamed, being a little girl - beautiful house, and loved husband - beautiful and expensive things (how can people live in such uncomfortable apartments? Or - and they simply do not notice it...). Loved husband ? very handsome. Very clever. Only hers.
The young woman, deep in her thoughts, went far. It was dark, and there was nobody around, but she was not afraid. The waves were coming to her feet with noise, the wind was bringing salty sparks and was throwing them on sand. She felt that it was necessary to do something, to escape from this closed circle of dim routine. She was going further and further on damp sand of the sea coast. But no one can escape from himself...
The storms were frequently here, and the wave-breakers, as if arrows shot by someone?s skilful hand, went out far in the sea. She climbed on one of them, going up to the edge of it.
The moon appeared on the sky, its soft light drew a path on the sea water. Its beginning was somewhere beyond a line of horizon and ended at the edge of a wave - breaker, being dissected about stones and turning in sparks of foam. The young woman approached the edge and looked downwards. The dark waves ran to small stones, catching each other. " As it is so beautiful now, " she thought, then, probably, it is possible to make a wish in such a night. " I want, that... " She made it so often, and often her wish turned to be the same ? to love and to be loved?
I want, that my child would be happy. But here the internal voice repeated to her a phrase which she heard a long time ago. The happy child can be brought up only by the happy mother.
Remembering the child, she realized, that it was night, and that she went so far that it would take her much time to get to the hotel. She was so absorbed in her dreams, that did not pay attention, how long she was walking and what distance she walked.
She went down on a coast and went to the direction to multi-coloured fires, which were reflected in water and meant that the city was there. The time was dragging.
"Stars are lucky", she thought. " They are not lonely, that is why they shine so beautifully". Distance is anything, many kilometers can be much shorter, than several meters to the next house.
There was nobody on a beach, but she did not feel lonely. If her child were at home, nobody would make her return. The man, who she was married to, was sp clever, he spoke to her often, telling his wise ideas and asking her opinion about the boring topics. But what is intelligence without feelings?
A passer ? by was approaching her. She was not walking slowly, but the step did not slowed down. She was not frightened, more just curious, and when he came up to her, he turned out to be a young man. He looked at her surprisingly and asked,
" And aren?t you afraid to go for a walk alone at night? ".
She looked at him directly in the eyes. "Handsome", - she marked silently. Brown eyes, cheerful and thoughtful at one time; short straight hair. Instead of answering she asked:
- Is it long to get to the town?
- A bit more than a kilometer, - he answered, - And you walked by feet all this distance?
He looked at her. She wore light summer clothes, completely not for evening walk. Her long hair was freely on shoulders, touched by the sea wind.
- And I have also decided to have a walk. I shall accompany you, if you do not mind. I can?t allow that such a beautiful girl would go for a walk alone, though the city is safeguarded during the night.
?Take it?, - he gave her his pull-over. In his every gesture the intelligence was seen.
She smiled. In some minutes they were chatting, as if they knew each other for a long time. About what they spoke? About nothing and about everything.
Suddenly girl asked ? ?What does your name mean?...?
The salty wind blew from the sea, carrying away all her sad thoughts. Having put on his pull-over (what a famous mark, she noticed before), the girl was thinking and thinking. Constantly trying to contradict the expression ?the woman can?t create using the pen, the woman can?t create using a brush?, she would like to be near someone strong, reliable, not with poor intelligence, and not with the lack of feelings, but near the man, with whom she would feel complete safety, taking his love and loving him.
Suddenly, he stopped and looked on the sea, the waves, changing one another, hit the beach. He told a phrase, either a citation from a book, or from a song. The girl surprisingly looked at him. She did not like the men who were pretending to be romantics, just to make an impression on people, but not being romantic at all, but everything that she heard from him seemed to her so real, so nice, so in-place.
The town was coming more close and close to them. But she was looking at the man and listening to him, trying not to admit that she did not want to go to the town.
- Probably, you got tired. Let's have a rest, - he said.
She sighed with relief because she really had walked much.
- But where shall we sit?
He looked around - wet sand was everywhere, but there were little rocks near the sea, probably for the waves did not wash away a line of a beach.
- It is possible to sit here, - he said, pointing to one of the rocks.
He climbed up the rock and held out his hand for her. He sit her on his laps, laughing, - you are so decent. She did not answer and put a hand on his shoulder.
?I know you only some minutes?. ?The whole eternity?, - he answered.
The waves brought a light of the moon, reflecting it, converting in drops of water and throwing them to rocks. He touched her cheek by his tender lips. ?I do not know him at all?. She turned a head, little imperceptible gesture... A long kiss.
?But it is very important for me?, - she tried to defend her fairness. ?For me too?, - he said.
After that kiss the time has ceased to be stringy for her. It has smoothly begun to flow, as a wave, in a happy sequence of his kisses, his touchings.
She could not define how much time they were kissing. Some minutes or hours...
?Probably, it is necessary to go?, - he said to her.
The phrase, which she often thought of, but never spoke aloud, suddenly was told: ?I do not want to come back home... To him?. He smiled. ?Now everything will be different, and I shall be another?.
? Maybe?, - he said, hugging her and kissing.
The next day. He will wait for her in a cafe, with the view on a town. She climbs a road leading to the cafe, she runs higher and higher, overtaking her thoughts, she runs to the new feeling, already present, to the love.
He bought an ice-cream for her ? so an unusual one - beautiful name ? the same as the name of the town, in which they were staying. Chocolate- caramel pieces were thawing in a mouth, leaving a new taste. The ice-cream was thawing and flowing in light trickles, running down on a waffle glass, making her thin fingers sweet and brown. ?We shall go to the car, there is a napkin there?, - he said.
The beautiful car shone on the sun in its bright red colour. The young man embraced the girl, carefully wiped her fingers. A little moto-scooter drove near them. The people, sitting on it, cast a glance on a pair near the car, thinking ? ? And he is lucky?. She precisely knew what that glance meant. Therefore answered to the invisible interlocutor - and me too. Also kissed him... Tenderly.
"Peak", - the signal system of the car beeped, and the girl got inside a car, sat in a soft armchair. Her new friend turned a key, and the car easily drove away. In a minute a wind blew from the conditioner, music also played. A thin aroma of man's perfumes was noticeable inside.
She did not listen to music for some time. Being a child, she often liked to dream listening to a silent, romantic melody. And then, not admitting it to her self, she stopped to turn on an audio tape recorder. Music derived associations, association ? thoughts. She did not want the man who was her husband, interfere in her thoughts because her ideas could not be understood without feelings.
And music was pouring from a little automobile hi-fi, painting her feelings in a pink melodious colour. The girl did not understand any word, the beautiful voice sang in language, unfamiliar to her, but she was enjoying the music. ?You know, what is this song about??, - she asked. He smiled and began translating. ? I need you?the night comes and I love looking in your eyes?.
She saw through clean transparent windows that they had already driven away from the town, and drove in the direction of a road from which a sea was seen. She looked at perfect landscapes, slim palms. Without asking where they were going to, her glance fell on his hands holding a rudder. "Strong", - she thought. While he was changing the speed, she slightly compressed his hand. A rudder now was held by one hand.
The car drove away on a road which was lying near the beach. Suddenly, a wonderful view opened in front of them. They went on a road, which lead on a mountain. The boundless dark blue sea was below. It was seen how the waves began somewhere away, they ran to a coast, their dark blue colour was changing and became light-blue, on edges white from foam, the waves beat along a coast.
The beautiful white villas, reflecting solar rays, ran behind a window of the car.
Her glance slipped on him. ?How handsome he is?, - the girl thought. He was also admiring a perfect landscape.
They again drove in the town, and it welcomed them, turning on evening fires - white, green, dark blue - they blinked and shone nicely.
Having driven by narrow streets of an ancient city, the car drove under a green arch and stopped near a hotel.
?I stay in this hotel?, - he said.
?He brought me here, and had not asked me before?, - a thought occurred to her, and disappeared at once. She smiled and got out of the car. The hotel is the form of a ship. They entered a hall. Everything was shining around. The water in little fountains, palms in big pots. The girl looked at all these, and, it seemed that she absorbed all this rich beauty. They went along a long corridor and stopped near the lift. The door of the lift opened, and they come inside, all the walls were in clean mirror, they reflected everything, making a little lift large and spacious. Her lover embraced her gently and kissed.
The key made a turn in the lock, and they entered his room. He switched the light by a quick gesture, approached to a large French window and opened it, letting a cool Mediterranean air come into a room. She was standing in a room and looking at everything in astonishment. The walls of a room were painted in a white colour, the little pictures hung on them. The floor was laid out with white tiles. There was a sofa in a style of modern near the window, and a glass little table near it. She saw another room through the door which was not closed ? the room was also very clean and the white colour was the basic colour in it. An accurate bed, large wardrobe, built in a wall. Everything was an example of an excellent taste.
? Are you hungry??, - he asked. The girl nodded, feeling, that it would be nice to eat something unusual and tasty.
They went out on the large terrace. The sea was seen very clearly, it lied almost in front of them, absolutely closely - beautifully, as if they were standing on a ship. The mountains were on another side. It was dark already, and the cars on mountain roads were driving with the headlights turned on, and consequently, the roads reminded multi-coloured long fires for decorating a Christmas tree.
She looked downwards and pressed his hand. ?Look?, - she said. The wonderful garden ? there were green palms, stretched below, cactuses and thin but real bridges above the lakes. The large lanterns were everywhere, they flickered, illuminating paths.
?I also love the sea, as well as you do, but I like not only the light-blue colour, but also all the bright colours?, - he said. She felt that he was absolutely serious. So beautiful and strong, sure in himself, how nice it was that he loved not only the light-blue colour. ?You know, and the green colour of the sea is also very beautiful?, - she said.
She wanted to listen to that song, which they heard in the car some minutes ago, passing some white villas. Apparently, the same idea occurred to him also, as he already turned on an audio tape recorder, and the noise of the sea, with which the song began, merged with hereby noise of light-blue waves, which were heard through the window.
They ate something with the taste of a fur-tree, something very exotic and very tasty, laughed and talked, then he lifted her on hands, and they came into a room.
The next year. Early morning. It is important to wake up in a good mood. The girl came out of the house, white villa. The bright sun was shining. It is her country now, the country of heat and sun light. A kitten was sleeping near a bush of roses. And now here he is, already in her hands ? little asking for protection. She lets him go back, the she takes a petal from a rose, and goes near the swimming pool. It sparkles and is full of clean transparent light-blue warm water. She will not swim not, she will go to the sea. She ran quickly by the stairs to her beach, came up to the sea. She tells him ? hello, and throws a petal of a rose. It also greets her, throwing the foam from waves to her to feet.
She sits in the car and goes on the palm avenue to the city centre. She lets her child go to school, then she goes to the travel agency and quickly comes back home, beautiful, pleased by herself. She hears a sound of his car. He comes back home, kisses her , and she gives him the tickets. He looks at them ? avion, Paris. They are kissing, and she tells him: ?I love you?.
Summer, 2001, Spain.
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.
A FOUND PARADISE
I don?t just love you but I admire you,
For you are my world which I adore.
A priest?s voice broke the silence. He began a wedding ceremony. The wedding took place at a small church near the sea shore. There were rather many people who were invited to the ceremony but they didn?t seem to be very happy at all. The bridegroom was tall, handsome, with big brown eyes which were sad- it was so strange to have such a look at his own wedding. The bride wore a white dress but there was something wrong with her behavior. The ceremony began. The bridegroom tried to make himself to listen to the speech but he couldn?t. All of a sudden the face of a girl came to his mind. Her green eyes were looking straight at him, she was smiling at him very sweetly, she was so beautiful like his dream that he felt a lonely feeling in his heart. Then her image vanished. The young man tried to get out her of his mind, to clear up the mess in his brains but he was not able to do it. He looked at a woman who stood near him. She was a short one, a little bit stout. They lived together for about five years in civil marriage. In fact, he never loved her but he didn?t want to live alone and, besides, she liked him very much and cooked and cleaned for him.
So, he was just accustomed to her and didn?t want to marry her until he was obliged to. She used to point out everyone?s faults and failings, find faults with her friends. She wanted him to believe that she was a virtuous person, that she lived an exemplary life, worked herself to skin and bone and did so much for a host of others and for the young man. She tried to make him think that he wouldn?t be able to live without her and her ?wonderful? dishes.
Suddenly, he felt a powerful gust of wind. The sun vanished in the gathering storm; between two close-packed clouds a wan fork of lighting flashed through the gray air; thunder rolled echoing among the rocks; a deluge of rain dropped its murky curtains between the church and the sea. In all his life the young man could not remember such a storm. The wind boomed, the long narrow windows of the church shook and clattered as the rain lashed them. The wind flung itself against the door and, at every thud the door gave, from every crack and hole came shrieks, whistles, hooting, flutings and trumpeting; and behind all sounded the steady roar of the sea, crazed and billowing.
Bridegroom?s mother set herself against the wall. She knew that her son wasn?t happy with that woman and under her consciousness she understood that something was going to happen to him.
The wind came into the church with a whoop and a gallop, all the lamps flared and went out. The young man understood that at that moment his future life might be decided. And he ran out of the church. The rain has stopped already but the wind was still blowing. The young man went away but he didn?t know where he had to go. He turned for the sea shore and went along it. The shore was littered with brown ribbons of seaweed. Great waves staggered and broke along the shore, and the run of them swirled up around his feet, so that sometimes he was ankle-deep and sometimes high and dry. From the tops of the breakers an off-sea wind flung foam into his beautiful eyes. The sun has come from the clouds already, and it wasn?t dark. Suddenly, on the shore, he caught a glimpse of a little rock which touched the sea. By his inward impulse he went there. A girl was sitting just on the rock and looking at the sea. The young man came up to her. The girl turned to him and he looked into her green, tear-streaming eyes, and it took his breath away. It was a girl whose image came to his mind during the ceremony. She was tall, beautiful with long dark straight hair. He stretched out his arms to her. There was no need to ask about something. He remembered that they met twice but he didn?t know that she went overboard for him, that she loved him. The tears were flowing from her eyes in silver streams and he wiped them joking that she hadn?t to cry because the tears might drown the whole world, and where they would live then. Two months passed. The young man and the girl of his dream were flying above the sea on their honeymoon.
They bore a child. She called him Astrolabe ? it is a special device which measures the distance to the stars, and so brings the paradise nearer.
The boy had the same birth-mark on his neck-just on the same place where his father had. The young man embraced and kissed the girl. ?You are my happiness?, he told her. ?I know I am?, she smiled.
Autumn, 2000.
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.