Estelle did not know what to think. Apparently, his visit meant something. Why had he to see her in the day of his wedding? How did he dare to leave his wife, Dina, in such a day? Whatever Estelle had an opinion about Dina, even Dina did not deserve such an attitude.
Next day Andre?s brother brought back the tape-recorder but told nothing about the wedding. Estelle guessed that Andre or Dina prohibited their relatives to tell Estelle about wedding. But why, she did not know. A probable explanation was that Andre did not want her to know not to be hurt. If so, Estelle was grateful to him. One thing was to guess, another was to know for sure.
Estelle decided to fool Andre?s brother. She pretended that she knew about the wedding and asked in what building it took place. He replied and now no doubt was left.
In some time after the marriage, Andre and Dina went into a kind of a honey-moon to another city. Estelle knew when they would go because Andre told her ? he said about the trip as if it was not a honey-moon but just a trip to the city he liked. Or did he really treated the trip as an usual one? Some days they were there and Andre called to Estelle from another city. Just to chat. Why did he do it? Dina did not know about it, maybe, he ran away from her.
Estelle was suffering, but trying to forget Andre. Once he provoked the meeting, and she noticed that Andre was hiding his hand from her, she looked more attentively and saw that he was hiding a ring. Was he shy of his marriage?
Andre continued doing attempts to date with Estelle but she always refused whatever she felt about him. Soon he made less attempts, then stopped doing them.
Looking at other men, Estelle was comparing them with Andre, and as she did not see a better one, she did not date with any boy, and was sad about Andre, or, probably, about her state ?in love? and her feelings to him.
Part 15. Free.
Estelle still loved Andre. But she would never agree to date with a married man who had no respect for other people.
She was using a modern way to meet people and soon met a man. They began chatting. She was waiting for each chat with impatience, her new friend was a very interesting communicator. It turned out that he knew very well how to behave with women and make them interested.
After some chats Estelle realized that she really liked him. If there was a choice with whom to chat ? with Andre or with her new friend, Estelle admitted that she would choose a new man.
They decided to meet each other. As it was summer, the sea-coast was preferable. As they both liked to travel, southern country was chosen, to which none of them had been before.
It was a beautiful holiday. They liked each other, loved the country. The new friend was very charming, gave many compliments to Estelle, behaved like a gentleman. With him Estelle realized that she is beautiful, able to make a man fall in love with her. He wanted to make love with her, she refused. Instead, they were kissing and caressing each other. Their feelings were enough to spend a beautiful holidays and to stay good friends, but not enough to feel pain after they both went home.
When Estelle came home, she had a look at Andre?s windows. She was not in love with him any more, and understanding that, she felt free, wonderfully free from the love which was not worth her suffering. Estelle was free and soon met a man who suited her.
Sometimes she saw Andre. Every time they were speaking, he told her how successful he was, achieving something in life. But Estelle knew very well what was the price of his achievements. His mother took care of him very well, helping with money.
Soon Estelle noticed Dina. She was pregnant. Estelle did not care about it any more, but was just curious who would be born and how the child would look like. The girl was born, she looked like any child, but resembled Dina.
From friends Estelle knew more about their life. The child was very little, even less then a half of the year, and Dina left her with a nurse, baby-sitter, and went to work though they did not feel the lack of money.
Estelle was surprised. She thought that Dina would be a good mother. Dina told many times that she wanted a child. Now Estelle never saw that Dina was hugging a child, or showing her love to her daughter, or speaking to her. The child was always with a nurse which was indifferent to her and could say only some words to a child during her job.
Andre became more fat, more white-haired and looked much older than he was. From the same friend Estelle knew that he had lovers. One of them was a woman with whom he worked. For some time Dina was also working with them and saw their relations, pretending that she did not understand anything in the fear that he would leave her with a child. They cared nothing for each other, they did not love each other. But they were not free.
Winter, 2005 ? 2006.
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.
Very often Estelle was standing near a window and looking at his windows, trying to guess what he was doing. Suffering from a jealousy. Guessing if they were making love at the moment.
They had fast meetings either in his flat or in Estelle?s - Andre did not go further only speaking and kisses. But not real kisses.
One day Estelle was at Andre?s flat. In some minutes Dina had to come and Estelle did not want that she would see her with Andre. She fast came out and saw Dina - Estelle had to hide up on stairs and wait till Dina entered the flat. Andre was surprised that they did not meet.
Andre was making a reparation in a flat. Estelle was looking at it. Dina always hinted on their bedroom. The flat was bought on the money of Andre?s parents. Dina also wanted to give a part but they refused. Her parents gave money for furniture and inside details. Dina had no right for the flat.
13. Real kiss.
Andre had a birthday and invited Estelle. His parents were present and a girl with whom Andre and Dina were studying Estelle felt that something would happen. Andre was shooting multi-meaning glances at her when they were playing near his computer. He was caressing. Dina?s hear when he was walking near her.. Andre?s mother was trying to be friendly but she showed a bit of a superiority. She was telling how Andre was born and Estelle listened with an interest. After the party Estelle went home and Andre was accompanying her. She was sure that they would kiss, no special reasons to feel so. And they kissed. It was Estelle?s first kiss. First they kissed as always, just in lips, and then she felt that Andre put his tongue inside her mouth. Then he told:
- Do you want that I teach you kissing?
- You may, - she replied.
And they had a real kiss. For Estelle it seemed to be very nice and sweet and she was glad. His tongue was moving inside her mouth, dancing with her tongue, touching it; Estelle got excited.
She could not sleep well at night. Estelle was thinking about their kiss, again and again remembering it.
After that it was a kind of dating. Andre was lying to Dina, inventing the reasons to meet or to call Estelle but never went further than kissing.
14. His brother. Separation. His wedding.
Andre had a younger brother. It was supposed that Estelle would date with him. They had a walk together and went to a caf?. He looked as if nice but was just a faded copy of his older brother whom he was following in everything. In some time after Estelle would see that he had no respect for women and did not deserve respect to himself too. He did not want to marry the girl with whom he was living, the same as his brother.
The relations were not nice for three people. Estelle decided to find out at last what Andre wanted. She told him directly that she liked him and that he had to choose. He turned pale and did not tell anything. But then Andre said that she should understand, he had a woman whom he loved and whom he would marry. Estelle wanted to give him a slap across his face but she did not know how to do it well and she did not want to loose her dignity, she preferred just to leave him. She turned and went away slapping the door loudly. She heard him telling ?Estelle?? but did not want to listen to him. What could he say?
It was very cruel of him. He knew that Estelle loved him and he encouraged her feelings. Moreover, he behaved as if he felt something towards her.
Estelle did not know how to understand his behavior. She decided to separate with him and was very sad from it.
Once Dina said that her life was going to change completely ? she wanted to make Estelle think that Dina would marry Andre, but when Estelle asked her more questions, it turned out that Dina changed the job. She was very proud of it but it turned out to be not a nice job. So now Estelle did not have to see Dina at work. Estelle tried to work carefully, as she did before, but was always thinking about Andre.
Estelle remembered how sad she was when she got a false hint about their wedding. Did not know what to do, she opened a newspaper with advertisements where people offered to repair flats and began calling one ad after another, just to speak with people. It was something strange in that.
Andre was calling Estelle, provoking her for a meeting. She was missing him and was even more sad to refuse his propositions.
Once she was going back from work and noticed him standing in the place from where he could see all people living the building. For sure, he was waiting for her. They began speaking but Estelle was not keeping the conversation, showing that she was offended. But after she confessed that she was glad to see Andre and understood that at least he had some feelings towards her. Though it did not change her decision to part with him.
Once Estelle noticed Andre?s parents. It was strange that they came ? no real reason, except one, his wedding. They spoke a little, his parents did not seem to be glad as they should be though Estelle knew that they did not want Dina to be their daughter-in-low; his mother was sure that Andre deserved someone better.
Dina?s parents were not seen. Both Andre and Dina told her nothing about their wedding. But still Estelle knew about it. She was proving herself that she was not sure about it, but somewhere beyond understanding, she knew the day of their wedding.
In the evening he called and asked the permission to borrow her tape-recorder, to make the copies of the tape. She looked at their windows to see the guests, something that would prove her guess. In some time she saw Dina, but she did not seem to wear a wedding dress.
(the continuation of the novel is on the next page)
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.