Self-exclamation ? look, he has a big pieces of ice
Instead of his heart and nothing instead of ?
Spain? She always wanted to go to there. When she was a child, she liked to spend time looking on the map, imagining hot sun and yellow sand, high blue sky and green palms. Barcelona and Malaga, Granada and Murcia, Cadis and Alicante? The Prado Museum in Madrid and shining fountains in Barcelona, Arabic and European mixture? One day a friend of her called:
- Do you want to go to Spain?, - she asked. She was a director of a touristic agency and proposed Emie a hot trip. She knew that Emie would get more conveniences by less money; she also knew about her dream. So Emie just asked:
- When? She had to go in two days if she were fast enough with her documents. Definitely, she was fast. In two days Emilie was sitting in a big Boeing plane, charter flight. It took them almost five hours to get to the point, but it was worth it. They saw many countries below them, rivers and mountains, seas and clouds. When they were flying above Spain, hey saw beautiful white houses which were standing near the mountains, reflecting the sun. As soon as the group left the plane, they were surprised of the bright sun and heat. Besides, it was the first time when Emilie saw a palm-tree. A big bus brought them to the hotel. The hotel was big, white an looked like a big ship. Emie entered her room and was impressed ? the hotel number had two rooms, done in a modern style, with the white colour used most. It had a big balcony with a beautiful view on the sea and park which was near the hotel. She felt herself like in a fairy-tale.
Next day she woke up and opened the French window to let the cool sea air come in. It was hot outside and there were no clouds in the sky. Emie decided to go to have a swim in the sea. She came to the beach, put off her clothes leaving only the little swimming suit, came into the water?but jumped off. It was not possible to swim in it. Now she remembered that some people from her touristic group were speaking about a cold storm that runs near the coast. But she was not sad - she saw a set of swimming pools near the hotel, so she went directly there. She decided to enjoy the sea by walks near it when it will not be so hot, later in the evening. There were rather many people in the swimming-pool set. But as there were several pools, there was enough of space. The water was clean and warm, it was a pleasure to swim in it. Emie spent much time there and after she laid on the towel on a grass, thinking where she could go next day for an excursion. She felt that she was hungry, but then she realized that she forgot her watch in the hotel room. Emie had a look around - and saw a company of young people. There were some dark-haired boys and some girls who were bursting in laughing from time to time. Among them she noticed one boy who was definitely the most handsome from them all. He had an intelligent look, but what was strange was that he was wearing jeans and t-shirt and not swimming suit as other people did. Probably, he did not want to swim, Emie thought. She decided to ask them what the time was. She stood up and came up to the company.
- Will you please tell me what?s time, - she asked.
The boys turned up to her, and began telling something in Spanish.
- No English, - was all she could understand.
But then the boy whom she liked answered her question in English and smiled. She smiled to him too, told thanks and went to the restaurant as it was dinner time. But it seemed that not only she was hungry. The restaurant was full, though she managed to find a free table. In some time she noticed that boy. He took some plates on a tray and was looking where to sit. She waved him by a hand, as there was one free place near her.
- Mauro, - he said.
- Emie, - she replied.
- This restaurant is always full of people at this time, but the food is very good here, - Mauro said.
Emie was fascinated just from the fact that he was sitting near her. Very handsome, very clever, and with a very good sense of humor. He was talking as a chatter-box, making jokes every minute, and it was very interesting to listen to him. Mauro told that he is not Spanish. His family moved to Spain from Argentina when he was a teen-ager.
- Why did you move, I mean how you managed to move from Latin America? It is poor. - asked Emilie.
- Yes, but my Daddy got a job here?.
Emilie did not notice how he changed the topic and began telling that he liked fast driving. When he got to know that Emilie was in Spain for the first time, he for sure decided to show her around. Next day they went to see the city. Emilie enjoyed their walk, their talks, their closeness when they were sitting in a car. In the evening Mauro drove her to the hotel. Emilie was thinking that he would kiss her but he did not. Just smiled and told her bye. Emie was surprised. She hated the modern relations when people made sex in the first day of meeting and parted on a second one. But this time Emie was falling in love, so she was waiting when Mauro would make the first step. Next day they spent in the swimming pool but Mauro told that he did not like to swim, so he was sitting near the tree watching Emie swimming and chatting with her when she came back. In the evening they went to the cinema. After it Mauro went with Emie to her hotel room. They sat on the big terrace looking the sea and speaking. Emie had to go home in some days, her trip was only for a week. They decided that Mauro would come to see her as soon as he could. It was late and time to sleep. Emie accompanied Mauro to the door. They stood. Mauro was as if hesitating. Then Emie put her hands around his neck and they kissed. It was such a pleasant kiss. Emie did not know why ? either it was because she loved him or he was Latino who was very talented in kissing and love making. Then she decided that it was because of both facts.
They spent the days remaining from the trip together. Mauro went to the airport and saw Emie off flying back home. They both were sad.
Emie was sitting in a plane and thinking about her trip, Spain and Mauro. She loved Spain and felt that she would come back. Emie smiled. She met such handsome romantic young man. It was interesting to speak to him, to joke and to laugh. Though they did not make love, Emie was sure that he would be very good in bed, judging from his kisses.
Some time passed. Emie was standing in the airport to meet Mauro. She saw on the electronic table that his plane arrived but he did not come out. She waited some more time and?the door opened and he was there. Emie put her arms around his neck, Mauro hugged her. They were glad to see each other.
Mauro brought her many presents even the big heart from plush. He saw Emie?s parents. They liked him too. Next day they went to see the city. Emie was proud of herself as all people who saw them were turning to see them better. Mauro, with his Latino origin, looked so exotic in her country.
In the evening they made a romantic dinner. Emie took a candle, turned on slow dancing music. Mauro hugged her and invited to dance. They enjoyed each other. Then Mauro turned his head and kissed Emie in lips, by a long sweet kiss. His hands caressed her back, then came down to hips, putting slowly her dress up. Emie whispered:
- Let?s sit. It was such a pleasure to make him naked, to touch his silky skin. It turned out that he is hairy on breast and Emie?s fingers were touching him. She wanted to be up, first - and began kissing his neck, licking it, coming down to his breast, then belly and then?
- Emie, please, stop. ? he said.
She looked at him in surprise.
? I want to be up, to give you a pleasure.
It was so nice to lay under him, to feel the warmth of his body, to get his kisses. Indeed, Mauro was great. He kissed her neck, slowly coming to her breast. He took one nipple to his mouth, sucking it, playing by his tongue; while another nipple was caressed by his long tanned fingers.
- Mm, - Emie moaned. - Please, Mauro, - she told. He kissed her belly, putting his hands up and up along her legs. Then he looked into Emie?s eyes and?kissed her there, on her most sensitive place.
Next morning Mauro made her a proposal. For sure, Emie accepted it. She was wondering a bit why the day before they did not make real love but who knows, she thought, maybe he was brought up by Argentinean old style and would prefer a real first wedding night. Mauro?s exclamation brought her back from thoughts.
- Very tasty, - he said, kissing the air near his two fingers to show that the food was really special.
Funny, he was always doing many gestures that meant many different things. Latino, Emie thought. They are always very emotional, as well as Italians.
He breathed on his fingers, half-fist, than as if rubbed in front of his chest ? I?m the best, - he told, showing his empty plate. Emie laughed and kissed him.
Some days after they came to Spain. It was not hot at that time, sometimes even gray, but Spain is Spain and it is nice to enjoy it.
- Emie, - he said. ? I would like that you meet my parents. We are invited today to their house.
- No problem, - she told. She wanted to ask him more questions about his family as he never spoke much about them, except his sister who was already married and has two children. Mauro interrupted Emie.
- I have to tell you something.
She raised her eyes on him.
- About my parents.
- Yes?
Then Emie found out that Mauro is from a very rich family. His father is one of the most rich and powerful people in Spain.
Actually, she always suspected something like that. His manners, his clothes, his style gave a hint that he is from high society. But one thing is to suspect, and another is to know the truth. She even did not ask him why he hided that from her and told about it only now. But she was not glad from his richness. She knew that big money could cause problems, influences a person?s character. She guessed well that when Mauro and his sister were children or better, teen-agers, after moving to Spain, they had everything they wanted. Well, they still have.
And the precipice between them, Mauro and Emie, was too big now. She was from a middle-class family, not poor but definitely, not rich as his. But ok, she thought, maybe it was not wise, to be sad of money? Maybe, Mauro managed to avoid the influence of money on his character? But Emie was mistaken.
Emie was surprised, but surprised in a good way. His father turned out to be a very kind and friendly man. It was a pleasure to speak to him. Emie did not feel ill-at-ease. She got a very good education and was rather of a very good opinion of herself though definitely she did not have so much money.
She did not really like Mauro?s money. As Emie understood, his mothers family were very rich too and that is why his father was able to have such a powerful position. Mauro?s mother spent her time painting pictures and making sculptures. Being polite, Emie told that all looks really well when they show her some examples. But his mother also tried to be friendly to her. It was seen that she loves her son very much.
The wedding was not too big, but enough to have a pleasure. Young couple was tired after a celebration and they were glad to return to Mauro?s flat. Emie took a shower and went to the bedroom to wait for Mauro. She put on a half-transparent nighty and laid in a bed. In some minutes Mauro entered the room. He was half-naked, wearing only a pair of shorts. Emie was enjoying just from his looking ? Mauro?s wet hair was combed, some remained water drops were shining on his tanned body. He was so handsome, all his gestures were sexy. He came up closer and said ? Emie, if you are very tired?we can? tomorrow if you want. Strange, she thought. He is as if pressured by something. She just shook her head showing that she did not want to wait till next day.
Mauro hugged her and kissed in lips by his special very sweet kiss. They began caressing each other. Wanting more, Emie put her hand down to his shorts. Mauro laid in a bed and for a second she thought that he wants to hide somewhere. Having paid no attention to it, Emie pulled his shorts down.
- What?s that? ? she asked.
- What?s that, I ask you? ? she shouted.
She was holding in her hands his penis. It was terrible crooked, wry? and little.
She had never seen before that a penis could be not straight. Mauro blushed.
- Sorry? he told.
- Why you did not tell me before? It is almost a crime to hide such a thing.
Mauro became angry.
- How do you want me to tell you? Hello, Emie, I can?t make sex because of Peyrony?s illness?
Emie sat in the bed in silence.
After some minutes she asked.
- And can you have children?
- I suppose so, he replied. But definitely I can?t tell because you know, I never made children before ? he added sarcastically.
Emie had nothing to tell. Suddenly, she felt so tired and sleepy. But one thought appeared in her mind.
- Mauro, - she said. ? Now we can never make real sex, can?t we? Nothing could be done about it? Poor?
- Nothing can be done, - he repeated after her, but with completely different intonation. He got irritated.
- For some people sex is not that important. Why do you think that all people are interested in that? Not all are obsessed in it like you. Do you think it is normal that you tried to seduce me and pull into a bed beginning from our first meeting?
Emie thought that it is normal. Normal that she wanted to enjoy making love with a person whom she loved, normal to have children by the usual way. But she said nothing.
Mauro slammed the door and went to sleep in the living-room.
Unbelievable, she thought. He tries to make me guilty because I want normal sex?
Next day she spent alone. Mauro went to work and she did not see him in the morning. In the evening he came and behaved as if nothing happened. They began staying together like two friends. He still was interesting to speak, was joking as usual.
One day Emie decided to cook some food but she did not manage to. She never cooked at home ? was busy at studying and managed to be the best student and that definitely required time and efforts, after she began working and it also needed time. But it was not a problem ? her granny was cooking for her and her parents.
Anyway, the food was spoilt. Mauro came home, laughed from it and they went to the restaurant. It was a romantic evening. Emie relaxed and could normally talk with Mauro first time after their wedding night. They even danced a bit.
When they came back home, Emie tried to find a solution to his problem.
- Mauro, - she began far away. Have you ever been to a sex-shop?
- Yes, I was once. ? he replied.
- And what is there?
- Nothing interesting ? many funny things. But it was good for general knowledge. Why do you ask?
- You know, I thought about false?
Mauro did not let her finish the thought. He interrupted her, became angry.
- You are not independent! You do not know how to cook! You are like a big child, are not an adult, you can?t manage to live by your own. You always need someone to serve you. You have a terrible character ? you parents do things for you that you should do by yourself. You did not earn money enough to buy a flat, your parents did it for you. You are not able to have a good job if your parents did not help you? I took you away from poverty and you instead of being grateful to me?
Emie did not listen what he was telling more. Just some pieces of thoughts were coming to her? Mauro, your father took you to work, at his company? your mother has woman who helped about the house and to cook? your father found a job for your sister? And that flat is bought by your parents? money? Who is independent? And why we speak about some independence if we began speaking about sex?
Some days passed. A sexy-looking, friendly, funny Mauro disappeared. Another man was on his place ? irritable, sarcastic, the one who tried to offend her any time?
You have no right to blame me or offend. I did you nothing bad. I just loved you and even agreed to accept your lies if I would get good attitude from your side? Emie put the note on place to be seen, packed her bags and went away.
Being in depression for some days, Emie decided ? it is him who has anatomical problems. Why should I be sad because of it?
Once she wrote to him to know how he was. A person who was in her bed, even without a real sex, couldn?t be alien to her. He answered that he had a girl-friend, his future wife. Emie could not understand why he still wanted to offend her. Emie thought that maybe his father ?bought? him a girl-friend who could stay with him without sex.
Emie married. With time, she stooped thinking about Mauro, she forgave him without knowing all his reasons. Emie was in love and she did not care about other boys. But one day by chance she got to know one person. It was a woman, doctor. By chance Emie knew that she could cure Mauro?s illness. Thinking for some days Emie decided to write him first just to renew the contact. And again, she got an answer about his girl-friend. He did not marry her still. But he gave many details about how he loved her, the new girl-friend, that he had to prepare something special because it would be a date - some time since they first meet.
Poor Mauro, she thought. He does not know that his offensive words will not reach her ? too much she is in love now and too much time passed. But she still did not understand why he could not part with her friendly, even if he felt no love to her, but still he wanted to have love story with her and had some romantic relations with her.
Emie was deep in thoughts. Should she help him to cure or should she never think about him? They have their own life now. And own partners. Ok, he may invent about his girl-friend, but Emie has a real loving and loved man. She still does not know the answer.
25.10.2005
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.
Did you read ?Rhinoceros? by
Eugene Ionesco?
It was raining and everything was grey. Sinthia left the high building on the 28 Avenue. She was as grey as the weather that day in New York. However, Sinthia was in a good mood. The boss, knowing that she had a little baby, let her go home earlier. Sinthia opened an awkward umbrella of an acid color and hurried home. She tried not to get into puddles but it was a heavy rain. People were in a hurry to get home fast and someone pushed her aside. Sinthia grasped a lamp-post not to fell down and stared in the shop-window in front of her. She noticed her reflection in it, and the thing she saw did not make her glad. It was a woman of an average height, an average age, rather fat, and just grey. No, not just grey but dirty-grey. Even mice, the classical representatives of this colour, had nothing in common with her. The fat fingers were squeezing a handle of the umbrella, the thin hair dyed into a cheap yellow colour sticked together and were hanging by wet dirty locks. But Sinthia smiled to her reflection, and something disgusting and ugly slided across her face expression. I am not a beauty, so what? ? she thought. But how much I achieved in life, not every provincial is able to go so.
Sinthia came to subjugate New-York some years ago. She found a low-paid job, went to the computer courses. There she met a good-looking but rather infantile fellow, whom she made marry her managing to get pregnant. Thus, Sinthia moved to his little flat, and soon gave a birth to a baby. Sometimes she went to her little town to visit her friends and relatives. But,speaking to them with a big superiority, Sinthia did not notice that they felt not a jealousy of her ?victories?, but a pity and perplexity.
Having forgotten that she came from the province, she considered herself to be a business-woman from a big city, not noticing that she wore out-of- fashion clothes, showed a lack of a good taste, and spoke with mistakes. But Sinthia did not worry about all that. What she was worried about was her husband. He lost the interest to her after some months since their wedding (but was he ever interested in her?), and little by little he was turning into a donjuan, or, to say more exactly, into a gigolo. They say that he got a new position at his jot because of his boss who was a woman and who liked to entertain with different men. But what could Sinthia do and where could she go? To come back to her town? She would be mocked and laughed at. To find a better-paid job? She had neither talent nor friends who might help her. So, she had to control her husband, to call him at work, and to wait for him near his job after a working day. The things which were left, were the business-trips. She knew with whom he went, and why. And it was not very often connected with a job. But, instead of making a scandals for him after his returning home, Sinthia was smiling and asking him how the trip was.
After same reflections and thoughts about life, Sinthia entered a shop to buy something tasty for her (she was doing it often for her husband not to see it, to make him think that she did not spend money for herself and so he had an economic wife), then she turned home. Paying not much attention to a babysitter who was telling how the day was, Sinthia had a look around the room ? there was no dust on the floor (as they had agreed with a babysitter, she cleaned the flat). Having an indifferent look at a child who was playing on the sofa, Sinthia closed the door after the babysitter, and put off her wet coat. The baby, and it was a girl, irritated her. The girl was almost two years old already, but she was still not speaking. Actually, neither Sinthia nor her husband needed the child, so they did not give much attention to her development. Sinthia sat on the sofa and took the girl in her arms.
The wide face of a child, who suffering from squint in eyes, was only in some centimeters from Sinthia?s face. They resembled each other so much that sometimes Sinthia had an impression that she was looking into a mirror. Remembering that soon the news would be, and after it, her favourite serial, Sinthia switched on TV. After the international part of news, the announcer came to the news in their city. ?Today in the day-time, three pigs were noticed in the 21 Avenue. Who their master was, is not known. The animals were given to the zoo?.
Sinthia was surprised. Definitely, it was strange ? pigs in the city. She turned on TV more loudly and went to the kitchen to prepare a supper for her husband. Having warmed some dishes bought in the shop, - Sinthia had a look on a watch. Everything must be ready and warm for his coming, - she thought and her hand reached her nose ? she was touching it several times during the evening, without any special reason her nose scratched and even seemed to be bigger than usual. Sinthia decided to take a bath ? there was enough of time before her husband came back from work. Suddenly, she felt incomprehensible burning pain in the end of her back. Maybe, I stroke it against something, Sinthia thought and noticed that the place there became slightly pink.
The evening was an usual one. Sinthia fed her husband, put her child in a bed, cleaned the kitchen and came back to her bedroom. They decided to watch TV before sleeping. The news was strange. The pigs were noticed in several places, on streets in the city. What did it mean? The news did not explain it.
Sinthia woke up early in the morning from the shout of her husband.
?Why haven?t you washed my shirt? And there are dirty dishes in the wash-basin. I wonder what you were doing yesterday ? the boss let you go home earlier?. He grasped a fresh shirt from the wardrobe and went away.
Sinthia stood up from a bed thinking how she could not notice his shirt yesterday and trying to recollect whether she washed dishes yesterday. Sinthia put off her pajamas and took a blouse though paying no attention that the stain from the sauce hadn?t been washed off. While she was dressing, she noticed that something was disturbing her. Sinthia came up to the mirror to look what it was. And it was a little tail. An accurate light-brown tail, the one like pigs have. Sinthia thought that it was not real, just it seemed to be there, but when she touched it, the tail did not disappear, it was still there, in the end of her back. What is that? ? Sinthia did not know. Maybe, a new virus? But at the same time her eyes slided across the mirror and she stared on her nose. A snout. There was a snout, dirty pink wet pig?s snout, with two little holes. Suddenly, Sinthia remembered the news which she heard yesterday on TV. Pigs. They did not run away from the zoo, and no master lost them. They were people, people who became pigs.
***
At that time, in one of the towns in New England, in the flat in the style of modern the telephone rang. A young woman who was wearing a strict light-blue suit took the receiver. A man asked the excursion company. She was going to tell, ?No, you?ve dialed not that number?, but her attention was caught by the voice of the unknown man which was heard in the receiver ? soft, tender and a bit shy. The girl imagined at once a business man, tall, slim, clever, interesting collocutor. And she decided to have some entertainment as she did not have a lot of work. ?Yes, we take the order for the excursion tours. What date is suitable for you? Tomorrow day-time? No, unfortunately, there will be no group excursions, only individual ones. Is it ok for you? Perfect. No, let?s meet not in our office but better directly in the centre of the city from where our excursion will begin?. The girl told him the time and the place and hang the receiver. She was surprised from her plan, but, on the other part, a little adventure attracted her by its risk. The route, she thought. It was necessary to invent the route and to decide what interesting sights to show him and about what to speak. She was deep in thoughts, then came up to the bookshelf, took one of the books about the history of the town. Rather fast she decided what she would show him; she took a paper and a pen and wrote the main events and dates which had connection to this or that historical place. But her thoughts were coming back to the man whose voice had attracted her so much. Her green eyes were sparkling from the excitement of the future coming meeting, the tenders rosy lips were smiling ? what if he looks like a prince?
***
Sinthia recoiled with horror. What should she do? She turned on TV and saw the announcer ? big pink snout, pink ears, pig?s look. But Sinthia was not surprised at all. Moreover, after the news which was usual, she waited for a babysitter, took her bag and went to her job.
In this time the authorities of New York found an ancient book near the building of the town hall. Some scientist were able to decode what was written in it. In the connection of the degradation of the society, people who were the most degradated, started turning into pigs. But just after the transformation, they stopped noticing their image and the difference from other normal people.
What is more, they considered themselves to be better and ?higher? from other people, correspondingly, they started occupying the high positions in the state government, penetrating into the all spheres, were thrusting their culture through TV and radio and mass media. It was said in the ancient book that, by a legend, only one thing could stop pigs and prevent them from occupying all countries ? when the most clean girl in the USA would be kissed by her prince, all pigs would turn back into people, will forget their pigs? past and would build a normal human society. But who knew where to look for that girl? And what to do if she would be found? The town council decided to wait. What else could they do? Because their stuff was turning into the pigs too.
***
The young man had a look on his watch. Only some minutes were left before the excursion around the city, but the girl who was a guide did not come yet. He came to work here by a contract only some days before, and he was given a week to familiarize with the new town before the beginning of his work. He liked the town. It even resembled him more England than multi-national America. He understood that in some time he would get the feeling of new surroundings. His thoughts were broken off by a young woman who left the car and now was looking attentively around till she noticed him. They were staring at each other, paying no attention to the crowds of passers-bys and on the bright sun-light which did not allow to see the details. The guide? A thought flied in his head. It is him, for sure ? the girl thought. In some minutes they were speaking. But, to be more exact, the girl was speaking more and the young man was walking near her and was trying to get into the things which she was telling to him about the town. It was hard for him to concentrate because involuntary he was looking at her rosy lips, long hair, thin waist?
***
And the big city was turning into a shed. The rubbish was on the streets, pigs were around. Step by step, little by little, they were re-doing the society to fit their needs. The means of transport were re-done, also in the caf?s now the food was put directly on the floor. Normal people were still staying in the city but most of them could not stand the pigs? company and they tried to leave New York. Everything was changed ? fashion ? it was in the fashion now to be dirty, the public order ? every self-respected pig should throw the rubbish on the street, the culture of meals ? if a piglet was eating without champing, he was distilled off the trough. The committ?e to save the city gave no result ? because its members turned in time into pigs.
Soon the pigs were noticed in other cities too. The government of a state gave the proposition to change the name of the country into a Swinland.
***
The wind was rustling in the crows of the trees in a park that was near the descent gently sloping to the river. The young man and woman were standing on the view place and were enjoying the sights. But their thoughts were far from those views.
You know, - the girl said. ? I am not a guide. I just heard your voice by the telephone and wanted to meet you.
- I know, - the young man said. He leaned his head and touched her lips. They kissed.
***
All pigs turned back in to people. But some of them got so deeply inside pigs? image and they liked so much their pigs? style of life, that they did not loose pigs? habits and still dream to create their Swinland.
Autumn, 2005.
Copyright © 2006 Victoria Z All rights are reserved.