You are Visitor:  Happy?
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 New here, aren't you? Thought so.
Well, I suppose I'd better tell you a few things, just to get you off on the right foot. You can start by calling in and paying your respects, like any well-brought-up young person ought. That should get the conversation going.
If, on the other hand, you prefer to churlishly ignore me, well then...there's a bloody great signpost just over there on the left. Find your own way: see if I care. (Oh, all right, here's a map as well. The bone idle and navigationally challenged can pull down the Readers Digest Condensed Map just above my head there. No, I won't get up: do it yourself).
Pay attention, now...
I do appreciate the personal touch, don't you? I'm always glad to give a young person the benefit of my wisdom and experience; but listen up, I'll only tell you once, then it's up to you.
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