**Disclaimers** “Unchained Melody” – Righteous Brothers (not mine)
Donna’s trashy romance is “A Kiss Remembered” by Sandra Brown
“Bed of Roses” – Bon Jovi from the “Keep the Faith” album
And we all know who the WW characters belong to, right? Right.
Donna felt her body pressed deeper into the mattress and groaned softly, caught
somewhere between agony and pure pleasure. It felt so good to have his weight resting
on top of her, opening her legs to his questing touch, rubbing her sex against his hard
length. She had never thought fantasies could come true…at least, not like this.
His mouth moved its way along her neck, teasing a pleasure spot near to where
her pulse thrummed rapidly against her skin. The gentle rasp of his unshaven face sent
shocks throughout her body. Grabbing his head in both hands, she dragged him up to
capture his lips with her own, revelling in his taste. They both moaned as their tongues
met and caressed.
As he continued to kiss her, one hand slid down across her smooth alabaster skin
to tease the triangle of soft curls. Donna instinctively arched her hips, wanting his touch
further down. He drew away from her lips for just a moment to watch her pupils dilate,
their fevered passion growing more intimate. Her mouth formed a small “O” of delight
as his fingers teased her moist folds. The smile that could brighten even the darkest day
appeared on his face and, despite the waves of bliss, she kept her eyes open to watch him
enjoy her. Moving her arms up underneath her pillow, she arched even further into his
hands, rolling her hips so that his fingers could flick her clit. Every nerve and muscle in
her body tightened with a delicious slowness and her breath caught in her throat.
She could feel his touch inside her, fingers moving in small circles, making her
wet. The keening sounds coming from deep within her grew louder as he knelt between
her legs and replaced his fingers with something larger and hotter that seared Donna from
the inside out.
They rocked together in a timeless rhythm. She had already been so close to
climax that this new assault of his love seemed almost too much to bear. He gazed down
at her, as her fingertips traced the contours of his face, devouring the look of rapture that
possessed her as she writhed beneath him. Their eyes remained locked as the tumult
began. Donna felt as though her world was crumbling with every thrust of his hips. For
one brief moment she saw herself reflected in the depths of his eyes and understood the
overwhelming love that was hidden there. Then she lost herself as her sweet orgasm
broke and flooded through her body.
Donna awoke ever so slowly, stretching languorously amid the rumpled sheets of
her bed. Her body still felt achy and heavy from her arousing dream. The world seemed
so wonderfully hazy as the early morning sun shone softly through her window.
The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar and she could hear the shower running.
An impish look crossed her face as she silently moved across the room and opened the
door. The bathroom was hot and steamy, fogging up the shower door. She imagined the
look of startled surprise on his face when she joined him under the spraying water and
almost laughed. She drew back the stall door, ready to pounce.
Her sexy smile froze in shock.
Clear blue eyes gazed back at her instead of the melting brown ones she had been
expecting. The black hair, sleek as a seal when wet, had none of the crazy waves and
curls she’d played with in her dream.
A soapy wet hand grabbed hold of her wrist and gently pulled her into the shower.
Reality crashed down on her as his lips lovingly kissed her nose, her neck, and finally her
mouth.
“Good morning,” growled Sam. He ran his hands up and down her back, pressing
her against his wet nakedness. She moved against him instinctively, desperate to cover
up her mistake, but her eyes remained somewhat dazed.
Sam looked at her and smiled, his eyes twinkling as he peered into her face.
“What,” he joked, “were you expecting someone else?”
“So, how was Hawaii?”
Josh leaned against the doorway to Sam’s office, his hands shoved in his front
pockets. It had been a long day and only now, near eleven o’clock in the evening, did he
have a chance to catch up with his best friend. Problem was, he had no idea how to
answer his question.
Sam shook his head sadly at Josh’s silence. “That bad, huh?”
“Let’s just say it wasn’t the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever had.”
“Amy?”
“Yup, that just about sums it up.”
Sam leaned back in his chair and loosened his tie a bit more. “What are you
going to do now?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Suicide is always an option.”
“Josh…”
“Come on, Sam! This situation is going to be impossible!” Josh ran his hand
through his hair, making it more unruly than ever. “For some godforsaken reason that
defies explanation Amy now works here…with us…in the frickin’ White House. This
whole relationship is going down the tubes and I can’t even come to the office to get
away from her!”
“Whatever happened to the Josh that was so enraptured by this woman he put up
fake palm trees in his apartment as part of the ultimate seduction scene?” Sam asked.
“Yeah, well, he kind of got the crap kicked out of him as soon as we landed in
Maui.”
“That can’t be good.”
“Ya think?”
“So, I suppose this would be a bad time to ask for my UB40 CD?”
“I’m thinking maybe, yeah.” Josh sighed and flung himself down into one of the
chairs across the desk from Sam. “How did things ever get like this? Before it just
seemed so…I don’t know…different, somehow. Now it’s like Amy has some evil pact
with Satan where she always has to mix work and play, always be right, and never leave
a room without picking a fight…usually with me.”
Sam looked intently at his friend. “Josh, things haven’t been good between you
two for a while. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen this coming.”
Josh scowled. “I suppose I might have had an idea it would end like this. But,
come on! She’s being completely unreasonable! All I did was call Donna on her
birthday and Amy tries to lock me out of the hotel room as some twisted form of
punishment. She’s cracked, seriously.”
The sudden tension in Sam’s body almost betrayed his secret. “You called
Donna?” he asked softly. “I thought you forgot her birthday.”
“Well,” Josh smiled weakly, “I kind of remembered last minute. You see, Donna
and I always did this thing on her birthday…” He paused. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.
The point is that Amy’s psycho melodrama doesn’t make any sense. She knows it’s not
like that with Donna.”
Silently, Sam willed for his muscles to relax, but it was a losing battle. “It’s not
like what?”
“You know,” Josh stammered, “romantic or…whatever…between Donna and,
well, me. There’s nothing going on between us except being…good friends.” His voice
ended on a high note and he sounded rather uncertain. He cleared his throat. “I mean,
you’ve never noticed anything at all inappropriate, right?”
Sam’s hands were squeezed so tightly together his knuckles were turning white.
He replayed his conversation with Donna from the week before, that first night they had
made love on her birthday. She had confessed things to him about her feelings for Josh,
feelings that he had assumed were now buried in the past.
He had been sitting with Donna on his couch. “Are you in love with him?” he
had asked.
“I might have been, once, a long time ago.”
Squeezing his eyes shut to block out the memory, he tried to focus on the present.
“Was I supposed to be looking for anything in particular?”
“No! No!” Josh began to fidget in his chair. “There might have been some
harmless flirting, and I always bugged her about all those stupid gomers she dated, and I
don’t think she exactly likes Amy…” He shook his head in denial. “Look, let’s just drop
this, okay? Forget about whatever I was saying. Donna and I are just friends.”
“Friends,” Sam repeated, his voice monotone.
Josh looked around Sam’s office. He let out a deep breath and stood up. “I think
I’m gonna head out. Best to leave now before the Gorgon makes her way to my office.
You coming?”
“Not yet. I have a few things here I need to check over. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure thing, buddy.” Josh reached up and hit the top of the doorframe on his way
out. Sam’s head snapped up, remembering something.
“Hey, Josh?”
“Yeah?”
“Has Donna gone home yet?”
“Um…I don’t think so. She’s been in some kind of weird female mood all day.”
He looked back at Sam. “You don’t happen to know why, do you? Did anything go on
with her while I was away?”
Yes, she and I had wild, passionate sex on every piece of furniture in my
apartment and I think I’m falling in love with her.
Sam shrugged, hoping he looked non-chalant. “Nope, no clue. Do you want me
to talk to her?”
Josh pondered the idea and then smiled mischievously. “Nah, I’ll let her brood
for a few more days and then get it out of her when she’s closer to unspooling. It’s
always more fun that way.”
“Right.” Sam’s smile felt incredibly forced. “Do what you’ve got to do.”
“Something like that.” Josh took one last swat at the entrance to the bullpen and
was gone.
It was very quiet. It would have been the perfect time to work, but Sam couldn’t
think of speech writing. Instead, his mind focused on Donna. Had it only been a week
since her birthday? It seemed so natural now to make love to her, hold her, to simply be
with her. As much as he hated to admit it, the thought of Josh as a single man again, a
man who was obviously flustered about his feelings for his assistant, was a severe threat
to Sam.
He sighed and ran his fingers over his face. It wasn’t a matter of not trusting two
of his closest friends; he knew that Donna wasn’t the kind to cheat, and neither was Josh.
Well, not really. How could something as natural and simple as making love to Donna
suddenly seem so complicated?
Letting out a long sigh, he cradled his head in his hands. “Damn,” he swore
softly.
“And just what do you have to be cursing about?”
He looked up to see Donna smiling back at him, her coat slung over one arm. The
tension in his shoulders melted away as he gazed at her, feeling secure as soon as he
looked in her eyes. “It’s been a long day,” he smiled, “that’s all.”
“I agree,” she replied, “ and so I think it’s about time we both get out of here.”
“Yeah.”
She waited as he packed up, then hit the lights to his office. “Come on, Champ.
Let’s go.” She smiled as he helped with her coat, then took his arm as they walked out
together.
For some unknown reason Donna’s keys seemed stiff in the lock tonight. There
were so many questions running around inside her head that the simple effort to
concentrate on getting into her apartment seemed overwhelming.
As long as Sam doesn’t notice, she thought. The entire day had been a game of
keeping her real emotions and confusion at bay. That dream about Josh in the morning
had really thrown her off balance. Especially when it came after yet another sweet
evening of romance with Sam. And she certainly had no complaints whatsoever with
their lovemaking. So why the dream?
All day long the gossip floating around the West Wing had been about Josh and
Amy’s disastrous vacation and their ensuing battle royale that seemed to be occurring
whenever they met. When their break-up was coupled with her erotic dream, where Josh
had loved her so perfectly, was it any wonder she felt so up in the air?
And now Sam seemed all withdrawn, just when she needed him to be a
distracting, inviting presence. He had been her saviour a week ago, when she was near
the breaking point after Josh had forgotten all about his trusty, rusty assistant. Every
night since had been sheer bliss.
The only niggling factor had been that message on her machine from Hawaii that
had been so…well, so Josh. He had been the old Josh, from before the Cliff thing, from
when things had seemed so right. If only my blasted machine hadn’t cut him off! her
mind screamed for the hundredth time. But whatever Josh had really been wanting to say
was lost – he was so in love with the sound of his own voice he couldn’t stop talking long
enough to say something truly meaningful.
Donna sighed and leaned her head against the still-locked door.
“Here, let me.”
Sam reached around her and turned the key easily.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “The door doesn’t like me.”
He gave her a half-hearted smile and walked through into her apartment.
Donna went in and got a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. Sam took his
filled glass without a word and swallowed half of it in one breath.
“Sam? Is something wrong?” Her eyebrows were all scrunched together,
concerned. Despite his silence, of perhaps because of it, she touched his arm. “Sam?”
When he finally met her eyes she thought he looked exactly the way she felt –
burdened.
“You’ve heard about Josh’s trip?” he asked.
“Not that much,” she admitted. “There was so much work to catch up on, he
didn’t have a chance to say anything to me himself.”
Sam sat on her couch and stared at the wall. “It’s over.” His voice held definite
finality. She gave him a look of confusion, unable to speak. He realised his mistake
quickly and took her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it softly before speaking.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean us. Not that. Never that. I mean Josh and Amy. They’re over.
His trip was…” He paused, searching for the right words. “It wasn’t what he hoped for.”
“So it’s really finished between them?”
Sam nodded. “It certainly looks that way.”
“I had a feeling the rumour mill might have gotten it right this time. More than
that really, since he had me running interference all day.”
“Interference?”
Donna smiled and leaned against Sam’s strong body. “He was ranting all day, but
not really about much of anything. That’s always a sure sign he’s feeling trapped. The
only thing he said about Amy was to switch all calls from her over to Margaret. I mean,
talk about misdirection, especially since the phone incident last winter.”
Sam wanted to put his arm around her, but his limbs felt too heavy. “Hm? What
phone incident?”
“Well,” Donna said, smiling, “you know how Josh has a habit of shooting his
mouth off before making sure it’s safe?”
“I think the entire Hill knows about that small flaw in his personality.”
“Well, he really did it this time. Last winter, Margaret got a bit of an earful about
Josh’s sex life without meaning to. Or maybe she did mean to, I’m not quite clear on that
one. I mean, she certainly didn’t rush to tell Josh it wasn’t Amy calling. Leo handled
that instead.”
“Leo?”
Donna giggled. “Anyway, between the two of them, Leo and Margaret heard
enough about Amy and some feather boa to keep her on the line for quite a while if
needed.”
Sam smiled, and it quickly turned into a laugh. It was the happiest he had felt all
day, except for when Donna had joined him in the shower. “Josh does know Amy has an
office in the building, right? How long can he avoid her?”
“Not long. I hurried out of there tonight because they’d just started World War III
in his office.”
Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say. Sam’s face clouded over and
Donna was shut out again. She bit her lip and let the glaze of tiredness run over her eyes
too. Why had one amazing week of learning to love each other melted away so quickly?
She took a last sip of wine and stood up.
I’ll be damned if this is going to beat us, she thought. Walking over to her CD
player, she started to rummage through her albums.
Sam looked up, tired. “What are you doing?”
“Making us feel better,” she replied, winking saucily at him. “We’ve both had a
long day. And, well, when you think about it, the last thing we should be doing in my
apartment is getting glum over Josh and his latest Mandy-clone.”
Sam’s eyes slowly came back to life. “Amy is a Mandy-clone?”
“It’s a theory I have. But we’re not going to discuss it tonight.”
“We’re not?”
“No.”
Finding the right CD at last, she loaded it into the machine. The music began to
play just as she turned to face him. The ever-familiar notes of “Unchained Melody”
filled the room.
Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time.
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love, I need your love,
God speed your love to me.
“Dance with me, Sam. Please.” Donna held out her arms to him, the softest of
smiles playing about her lips.
He knew she was doing her best to drag him out of his foul mood. And to be
honest, it was exactly what he wanted. He only hesitated for a moment before shedding
his tie and standing up. Walking over to where she was, he gently pulled her to him,
moulding their bodies together. They slowly swayed to the music.
Donna tried her best not to do it, but she couldn’t help thinking one last time
about her dream as Sam held her against his chest. Josh’s arms had held her close, like
this, and his touch had made her burn. Wanting him had been such a large part of who
she was for so long, it felt odd to start the slow process of replacing him with Sam in her
mind. And she didn’t think it would be as simple a job as she had hoped.
But, in truth, she had never felt Josh’s body pressed intimately against hers, in the
way Sam now cushioned his hard length against her softness. Josh’s arms had never held
her long enough for her to relax into his embrace, and his kisses now belonged to Amy.
Not Donna, but Amy. Even if their relationship was on the rocks, Josh’s feelings for
Amy were of a completely different nature than what he felt for her – or what he used to
feel. And it wasn’t about to change. She knew it. She might not have accepted it yet,
but she knew it.
Sam’s arms tightened around her as he softly hummed along to the music. Donna
pillowed her head on his shoulder. He smelled nice – warm and spicy and most
definitely male.
“Donna?” he whispered. “Why did you pick this song?”
She closed her eyes. “I don’t know. Do you like it?”
“Of course I like it, it’s a classic. But…you’ve been watching “Ghost” again,
haven’t you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with liking that movie, Sam Seaborn,” she chided.
“Did I say there was?”
“You were insinuating.”
His hands slowly caressed her back, making their way down to cup her ass as he
continued talking. “It’s just that this song is making me think about that scene from the
movie.” His eyes shone down at her. “You don’t happen to have a pottery wheel hidden
somewhere in the closet, do you?”
“No, I don’t.” As she spoke she slowly undid his fly and began to stroke him
through his boxers. Sam gasped as her fingers worked their magic, surprised at her
sudden boldness. “But,” she continued, “I think we’ll be able to improvise as we go
along.” The ever-increasing movements of her hand along his cock were making Sam
dizzy. His arms pressed her close against him and he breathed in the flowery scent of her
hair.
“Donna, I need you.”
Putting her hands on either side of his face, she smiled. “I know.” And then she
kissed him. It started out as a simple kiss, his lips firm and inviting against hers. Then,
as the music around them became more passionate, so did their hunger for each other.
Their tongues ran along each other, playing, until Donna felt she might never get enough.
In one swift move, Sam lowered them to the pleasant plushness of her couch. As
he nibbled his way down her neck, the CD switched over to “Hungry Eyes.” Sam
couldn’t help laughing in between kisses.
“What is this? A Patrick Swayze tribute album? I feel like I’m reliving all…of
his…love scenes.”
Donna blushed and then lightly smacked Sam upside the head. “I like the songs,”
she muttered, glaring at him sweetly. “Don’t you agree?”
He smiled at her, rubbing his hands over her stomach, her rib cage, and then down
lower, to the tease her sensitive folds through her clothing. “I love it,” he whispered.
The banter was relaxing, and they took advantage of the moment of calm between
them. As he leaned over her, naked and aroused, Donna looked up into his clear blue
eyes and felt tears threatening to overwhelm her. Here was a man who saw all of her,
every facet of her personality, and had never taken her for granted. It was enough to
make her cleave to him, hoping he could shut out all her doubts with his tender loving as
he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
But despite the passion igniting them both, there was still an edge to their
lovemaking that they both wanted to ignore.
Donna came as Sam flicked her clit with his able tongue, and for a second time
when he was inside of her, thrusting against her and with her, giving her everything he
had. In her orgasmic haze, she could pretend that all of the stress from the past twenty-
four hours had finally disappeared.
Sam held her through the night, loving the feel of her sleeping in his arms – but he
couldn’t close his eyes for a moment, afraid she would be gone when he woke.
And in the morning, when she felt the first warmth of the sun on her face, Donna
could not understand why she was disappointed that it had been a dreamless sleep.
A few nights later Donna sat at her desk, alone, completely engrossed in the book
she was reading. Lately, when Josh kept her at work longer than any other White House
employee – or human being, for that matter – she’d grab a book from her desk drawer
and read until she was summoned to write index cards.
Tonight wasn’t really an index card night. Instead, Josh and Bruno were closeted
in Leo’s office working on some new angle for the campaign. It was now past eleven
o’clock, but since Josh hadn’t surfaced since around eight, Donna felt she couldn’t leave
without making sure he was ok. She knew it was a reflex reaction to check on him, but
she couldn’t help it. Not even loving Sam could interfere with that instinct. Looking out
for Josh went deeper in some way – a detail she was in no way about to investigate
further.
She had realised by now that any edginess around Sam on her part was because of
her inability to exorcise any last personal attachments to Josh. Thinking of herself as just
his assistant was even harder now that Amy seemed on her way out the door of his sex
life. But since denial had worked for her so well for so long where Josh was concerned,
she saw no reason to attempt anything different this time around.
If she didn’t think about her latest round of Joshua Lyman Fantasies, they didn’t
exist, leaving her free to concentrate on Sam.
At the moment, she was concentrating pretty hard on the romance novel in her
hands. She had found that the best way to lose herself for a few hours was to read
something deliciously smutty. It was sheer escapism and Donna revelled in it. The small
portable tape deck she’d brought from home was softly playing power ballads in the
background. The machine was a total relic from the 80’s and she loved it, even if she did
have to hide it every so often so as not to be mocked by Charlie.
Donna was so caught up in her latest penny-dreadful – Grant, the sexy university
professor with a jaded Washington past, was giving Shelley, his one-time high school
student, a forbidden massage in a hidden corner of the library – she didn’t hear footsteps
behind her.
“Whatcha doing there, Donna?”
“Josh!” She whirled around, furious at having been interrupted just as Grant had
cupped Shelley’s breasts in his hands, and totally embarrassed at being caught reading
what was basically a dressed-up bodice ripper. As casually as possible, which was really
not at all, she turned the book over to hide its give-away romance cover.
“You’re done with Bruno so soon?” she asked, covering for herself.
“Soon? It’s going on to midnight! Why are you still here?”
“I didn’t know if…you know, you’d need anything after the meeting.”
She felt his eyes sizing her up, searching for a clue as to why she was so flustered.
“So, if I’ve been in with Leo and Bruno,” he said slowly, “what have you been
doing out here?”
“Nothing.”
Donna caught the glimmer in his eye a second too late, as Josh deked around her
to grab the book on her desk. He only looked at it for a moment before rolling his eyes
dramatically.
“You’re not. You can’t be. Donnatella Moss, tell me you are NOT reading
another one of these trashy novels. Not after I banned you from ever bringing them to
work, oh, maybe two years ago?”
“The jig is up,” she deadpanned. “I’m a frustrated old spinster with a dirty mind.
I also eat bonbons and always picture Toby naked. Now, will you give me back my
book?”
He shook his head, grimacing. “After that…delightful…mental image, I’ve
decided to confiscate this as a lesson to you. Maybe then you’ll stop reading crap.”
“It’s not crap and you’re not my elementary school principal. Hand it over.”
“Nope,” he smiled, dancing out of the way.
“Fine then. Be childish about it.” She looked away, then suddenly lunged at him.
Josh caught the impact of her body straight in the chest, but he somehow managed
to keep an arm stretched up in the air. The book dangled just out of her reach. Donna
tried jumping for it and smacking Josh at the same time.
“You’re only winning because I took my heels off,” she muttered, getting out of
breath.
In retaliation, Josh began to tickle her with one hand, his quick fingers scrabbling
against the thin material of her blouse.
The breath caught in Donna’s throat as her nipples tightened beneath her bra.
Josh had unfortunately found out how ticklish she was watching movies together during
his recovery – but it wasn’t a trip down memory lane that was making her panties wet
and her breasts strain out towards his hands. She wanted to sigh and beat the hell out of
him at the same time.
“Give…me…that…book!!!” she yelled.
Josh’s tickling hand moved up to cup her chin, holding her immobile. Their eyes
locked, mere inches apart.
“No,” he taunted.
His eyes danced before her, making her almost dizzy as the fever of arousal
ripped through her body. They moved imperceptibly closer together, so that their thighs
nearly touched. Donna smiled at him, innocent as a lamb, and then jammed her foot
down on his instep.
“OUCH!!” Josh hollered in pain and started hopping up and down on one foot.
The romance novel fell to the ground, and Donna snatched it up immediately.
“That should teach you. Second rule regarding women, Josh: never get between
us and the trashy novels. It just isn’t done.”
“Ok, ok, I get it,” he winced, still massaging his foot. “Remind me of the first
rule again?”
“Always bring me chocolate when I have PMS.”
“Which is, like, every day of the month, right?” The sarcasm dripped from his
voice. Donna took a menacing step closer and raised her hand, ready to give him such a
smack upside the head.
“I give, I give. Uncle!” he yelped in surrender, his hands up to protect himself.
“Good,” Donna nodded smartly. She dusted off the book, removing Josh’s taint
from its fabulous pages, and then resumed reading.
“I dunno, Donna,” he muttered, limping for sympathy. “I’m just saying that it’s
never a good sign when the author’s name is bigger than the title of the book. And that
Fabio guy in the kilt is sure to kill brain cells just by reading about his ‘throbbing
manhood.’”
“Right, well as you can see, there are no kilts on the cover.” She waved the book
around for emphasis before pausing to assess him with a keen eye. “And I truly doubt
anything of yours has throbbed in a long time.”
It was a definite insult, but also an opening for their old-style of banter. Not a
large one, but an opening just the same. Donna couldn’t look at him anymore as the
words left her mouth – couldn’t bear to see the glimmer in his eyes inevitably dim as her
taunt crossed over that undeclared boundary between them. Her fluffy novel was
suddenly far too interesting and she swung her chair away from him. It was silent for a
long moment.
“Donna, my foot hurts.”
She smiled secretly, knowing things were ok. “Then put some ice on it,” she
replied.
“Donna! It really hurts! I think you broke me.”
“Josh, please! I’m trying to read!”
He scowled, doing a fabulous version of the man-pout. “You’ll have to stop that.
I need you to help me run over some stats on female voting patterns in the Industrial
North East.”
“Isn’t that what we get Joey Lucas to do with her polling? Or maybe you could
call A…”
“No we can’t,” he snapped, cutting her off. “Sorry. Just…can we not do that –
not tonight.”
Donna looked up at him. He was leaning against the divider to her cubicle, his
maimed foot crossed over the other ankle. He was the picture of casual stylishness, but
the burning in his eyes told her that he was anything but relaxed. She nodded at him, her
eyes softening just a bit as the truce was called. “Sure,” she replied.
They smiled tentatively at each other. “So,” he continued, “are you coming or
what?”
“I want five minutes.”
“Why?”
“Because Grant has Shelley up against the stacks in the library and he’s just told
her to put his hands under his shirt and touch…”
“All right! Enough!” Josh yelled to drown her out. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m
getting stupid just listening to you.”
Donna laughed and rolled her eyes at him. “You’re ridiculous.”
She turned back to Grant and Shelley, then reached out to turn up her music.
Strains of Bon Jovi echoed in the silent room.
“Now as you close your eyes, know I’ll be thinking about you,
While my mistress, she calls me to stand in her spotlight again.
Tonight, I won’t be alone, but you know that don’t mean I’m not lonely.
I’ve got nothing to prove for it’s you that I’d die to defend.”
Feeling watched, Donna sighed, put the book down again, and looked over her
shoulder. Josh hadn’t moved. He was staring at her, his face a study of unsaid emotion.
“Josh, you’re not leaving.”
He didn’t say a word as the music swelled.
“I want to lay you down in a bed of roses,
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails.
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is,
Lay you down in a bed of roses.”
The song ended. Slightly perplexed, Donna waved her hand in the air to stop
Josh’s mind from continuing its wandering. He blinked rapidly, and then tried to recover.
“What’s with you and all the cheesy music lately? You’re getting to be as bad as
Sam.”
“This is coming from the man who owns Bryan Adams’ “Reckless” album.”
“I thought we agreed not to talk about that in public.”
“Why, are you ashamed of your ancient music collection?”
“You wouldn’t understand. It was a classic back when you were probably playing
with your Rainbow Brite doll.”
“Rainbow Brite?” Donna gave him a look of disbelief. “Josh, I think you should
go into your office before you hurt yourself. Or do you want to hear more about
Professor Grant’s sexy treasure trail that tapers down into his jeans?”
He blenched and walked quickly to his office, muttering something about his
“virgin ears.” The door shut behind him, only to open again seconds later.
“Donna, you’ve got five minutes, and then you have to put the smut away.”
“Ten!”
“Five!”
“I’m finishing this chapter.”
“Do you mean to tell me that your cheesy romance novel is more important to you
than the duty you owe to your country, working here in this palace of democratic ideals?”
“Right now, I’d have to say yes, the novel wins.”
He exhaled dramatically. “Donna, as soon as you’ve finished that chapter – and I
mean it, just that chapter and no more – I want you in my office and ready to work.” He
paused, waiting for some reaction, but her eyes were already tracking across the pages.
“You know,” he continued, “I’m only letting you finish because it’s late and that means
you get huffy if I’m not my nice sweet self.”
“Whatever, Josh.” She still didn’t look at him.
“Read faster, damn it!” he roared.
The door closed.
Josh laughed to himself as he settled into his desk chair, not bothering to turn on
the lights yet, waiting for Donna to finish with her clap-trap. Imagine, Donna loves the
smut books, he thought. His grin deepened as images of Donna reading trashy fiction
filled his mind. It would be just the kind of thing that could get her all hot and bothered
without anyone being the wiser.
Damn, that went pervy pretty quickly. Maybe the tickling match had affected him
a little more than he originally thought. He shook his head and tried to think of
something else, anything to curb the Donna fantasies that had lurked in his brain for way
too many years and were set for yet another appearance.
Truth was, he felt enormously happy about their latest play-fight. Things hadn’t
been that relaxed in…well, it was a really long time ago – even if she had maimed his
foot for life. Maybe, if I play it right, he thought, I could guilt her into a foot
massage…that’d be pretty cool…
He kicked off his shoes and felt around his bruised foot. His instep was still
tender, enough to make him wince. “Damn it, Donna,” he muttered, “thank God you
weren’t wearing heels.” He’d be perfectly happy if she continued walking around the
office barefoot – then at least he had a bit of a height advantage.
He frowned. Nope, bare feet would mean stepping on tacks or staples and Donna
smacking him for it on a more regular basis – not a good plan, since the woman could
pack a mighty wallop.
Suddenly he sat up in his chair. “I’ve got it!” he yelled.
“Josh?” Donna’s voice was muffled through the closed door. “Are you ok in
there?”
He froze for a moment before replying. “I’m fine. Are you done yet?”
“No!”
He rolled his eyes again and went back to his train of thought.
Flip-flops. They were just the thing to avoid future injury from Donna. She
could walk around without stepping on anything painful, but be rendered defenceless
next time he started a tickle fight.
Josh smiled and leaned back in his chair, problem solved. He’d give Donna a
memo in the morning about his newest office footwear policy. His mind wandered as he
pictured Donna in flip-flops…flip-flops were also good on warm sand…bikinis…Hawaii,
which made him think of…Amy.
“Don’t go there,” he warned himself. The Amy vacation had been a nightmare,
starting with the flight over the Pacific. He had been a little too self-conscious to take up
Amy’s offer of joining her ‘Mile High Club.’ Not that he was against such an activity in
theory – who in their right mind wouldn’t be in favour of sex on a plane – it was just that,
lately, sex with Amy had an infuriated edge to it he didn’t like, and fighting while
fucking was not something he wanted to share with the rest of the passengers.
Josh checked his watch – Donna was late by his standards, but then again, it was a
crappy watch. He tried to stop the mental picture, he really did, but the what-ifs
overpowered him. What if he had taken Donna with him instead of Amy? It would have
been a birthday wish for Donna, seeing as Hawaii was the only thing she really wanted
from him – well, that and all the skiing crap.
Donna in Hawaii…Donna with him in Hawaii…
Josh closed his eyes as his imagination took over. He didn’t need a trashy book to
get himself going. Just ten seconds, he told himself, I’ll think about her for ten seconds
and then I’ll stop. Well, maybe twenty seconds…
He pictured Donna in his hotel suite that, in real life, had become Amy’s version
of the Western Front. It was dark and the breeze was blowing in from the beach. She lay
on the bed, wearing something lacy and sheer that screamed Victoria’s Secret. Her face
was mysterious as her eyes lured him closer, so that he sat next to her, tracing the soft
lines of her body. Her dusky nipples, already aroused, seemed to beg for the touch of his
tongue. Her skin smelled like lilacs and they both sighed as they touched each other,
slowly, deeply, never able to get enough. Her lips nibbled his ear and her hand slowly
passed down his stomach to touch his hardening cock…
“Josh! I’m ready now!” Donna barged into the office at an extremely unfortunate
moment. Figures.
He was totally busted.
There are times in life when one gives thanks for the small mercies still left to us.
Josh had never been so grateful before for his desk, which was the only thing blocking
Donna from seeing his hard-on.
“Can’t you ever knock?” he squeaked.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?”
He cleared his throat, stalling as his mind raced for an answer. “Um…I was
thinking?”
“You wanted to scare me, didn’t you?”
“Maybe…” He gave her his best boyish grin, silently rejoicing that Donna always
thought his mind was eternally set on ‘frat-boy mode’, and turned on his desk lamp.
“See, lights. Happy now? Are we ready to get started?”
“Do you see these index cards in my hand? That’s the signal that I’m ready.”
“Took you long enough to finish that chapter.”
She sniffed. “I’m not going to discuss my book with you. You can’t understand.
You’re a man – well, some might argue a boy, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt –
and that means that your mind is incapable of learning the intricacies of a carefully
orchestrated, yet thoroughly stimulating seduction.”
“Right,” he said slowly. “I’ll remember that next time I ask you about Fabio and
his manly friends.”
Josh fidgeted in his seat, trying to find a way to alleviate his present hardness.
The frat boy thing had made him briefly picture a panty raid involving him, Donna and
an empty Victoria’s Secret store, and now he was back to square one.
“Josh, are you all right? You’re doing that thing again.”
“Thing? What thing?”
“You know, that six year old boy thing where you squirm like you’ve got ants in
your pants.”
“I’m just sitting here.”
“You’re doing something!
“Leave me alone and get to the cue cards.”
“Index cards.”
“Whatever.”
They worked on Bruno’s new campaign strategy for a few minutes, though it felt
like hours. Josh became much more logical once he was able to pace around the room
without looking like a rutting stag. Even so, after a while they both needed a break. Josh
ran his hands over his face and stretched as he stood behind Donna’s chair.
“Donna? What time is it?”
“You’re never going to get that watch fixed, are you?” She turned around to
watch his face as he answered.
“I can’t get the watch fixed…it would ruin this charm thing I’ve got going on.”
The sudden appearance of his dimples had always made Donna’s heart flutter just a wee
bit – she gripped her notepad harder, trying to suppress anything stupid. “Donna? Did
you hear me?”
“What, sorry?” She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
“I asked if you thought it was late enough for me to break into CJ’s secret stash of
Corona. I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go home yet…Leo and Bruno want to approach the
President with this as soon as possible.”
“Which means we don’t get any sleep tonight?” she asked, winking at him.
“Yup. I’ll go get the beer.”
He was only gone for a few minutes, loping back with four bottles and a sealed
bag of cut limes. “It took me a bit longer than usual because I had to go to Sam’s office.
He’s always smart enough to remember the limes. And since he’s not here, I feel no guilt
in stealing them.”
Donna took her beer and hoped she opened it casually enough. “Sam’s gone
then?”
“Yeah, he left hours ago. Lucky bastard. Toby wanted him to get enough sleep
so he could write something stupendous tomorrow.”
“Oh.” She took a long swig after pushing the lime down the neck of the bottle.
Josh sat back in his chair and put his feet up, cradling the Corona in his hands.
“So,” he said, “what’s been going on?”
“Pardon?”
“I don’t know…we haven’t, you know, talked for a while and I just wondered if
there was anything going on with you. How was your birthday?”
Donna took her time answering. “It was…fun.”
“That’s good. Look, I’ll say it again, I’m really sorry I forgot. But I meant what I
said on the phone…that’s how I really feel.”
“How you feel about what?” she asked, utterly confused.
“You know…what I said at the end of my message…I phoned you from Hawaii.”
He stared at her, looking for some kind of a response. “Donna…didn’t you get my phone
message?”
“The machine cut you off.”
“It didn’t.”
“It did. I just heard about how the vacation wasn’t going well and that you
wished you could have been here with me and that was about it.”
“Oh.” He looked down at his beer, thinking. “I guess it doesn’t matter.”
“Why? What did you want to tell me?”
“Never mind,” he said, taking a sip of Corona, “I’ll save it for a rainy day.”
“Josh, if there’s something you need to tell me, I want to hear it,” Donna said, her
voice serious.
“Nah. It’s all good. Anyway, you heard the main bit.” He let out a deep breath,
staring at the wall. “The vacation definitely sucked.”
Trying to lighten the mood, Donna thought she’d bring in the funny. “You know
why…it’s because you went to Hawaii, when you should have taken Amy someplace
else. Hawaii belongs to me.” Her humour fell flat.
“Yeah, I guess it really does.” Looking at Josh’s face at that moment, his eyes
hardened with anger and regret, all Donna wanted to do was hug him. But, of course,
that was out of the question these days. When was the last time they had held each other,
even for a moment?
“Was it really that bad?” she asked softly.
“No, it was probably worse, actually. Ask Sam sometime, he can give you all the
gory details.”
“Gory? You make her sound like some kind of monster. She’s a strong-minded
woman, Josh, not the bogeyman.”
He smiled slightly, searching for the best word to describe Amy Gardiner. “No,
not the bogeyman, not quite. Kind of like the world’s most self-involved, over-the-top,
bitchy prep girl. But with killer legs.”
“An interesting choice of words,” she said wryly.
“Yeah…she’s kind of like that really nasty Air Raid senior…you know, the girl
from Dazed and Confused?”
Donna rolled her eyes. “Have you been renting that movie again in a vain attempt
to relive your misspent youth?”
Josh dropped his feet off the desk and looked at his assistant, feigning shock.
“It’s a good movie, Donna…All about high school back in my day. You know, not
everything has to somehow lead back to me. I’m not that egotistical…I hope.” His
forehead wrinkled as he pondered the thought.
“Seeing as you’ve been a cocky, swaggering idiot for your entire life, I’m
thinking those seniors back in your day must have paddled you within an inch of your
life.”
“Hey! I took it like a man.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You promised to do their homework for the year, didn’t
you?”
“It was a masterful piece of political manoeuvring that spared me twenty licks.”
And suddenly, the dimples were back in full force.
“Yes, Josh,” she laughed, “you are the Master of the Universe.” Donna put down
her pad of paper and stretched her aching back. Using an old volleyball move, she
popped the joints in her shoulders. “Ah,” she sighed, “that’s better.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“So, if I have this right, in your world, Amy is Parker Posey from Dazed and
Confused.”
Josh thought about it for a minute, weighing his options. “Yeah, that’s the best
analogy I can come up with. I guess, whatever happens after the election, as far as
Amy’s concerned I say just bring it on. I’m ready, I can take her.”
“I’m sure you can.”
Josh fidgeted in his chair again, wanting more of a response from Donna. “I just
don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?” she asked.
“I don’t understand why all these smart women cross my path, only to end up as
ex-girlfriends or ‘just friends’ or something worse…like Republicans.” He shuddered,
playing up the moment.
Donna looked at him deeply, head tilted slightly to one side, searching for
something in his face. Not finding it, she shook her head and smiled sadly. “My God,”
she said, “you really don’t get it do you? Josh, the reason why it hasn’t worked with
Amy is because you always try to date a Mandy-Clone. Thank goodness Mandy left here
when she did, otherwise you might be back with her, and even Amy, despite your
inability to communicate with her, is better than that alternative.”
“What? What are you trying to tell me? You’re freaking me out.”
Donna sighed, trying to make him see what was so glaringly obvious to her.
“Amy Gardiner is a Mandy-Clone. You’re dating Mandy all over again. She’s a Mandy-
Clone.”
“What do you mean by that?” he squeaked. The Mandy word always did that to
him.
“Do you really want me to do this?” she asked seriously.
“Do what?”
“Analyse your continuing failure to maintain a fulfilling relationship with a
woman.”
“Failure?” Josh voice rose higher as he spoke. “Isn’t that a little harsh?”
“Josh, how old are you?”
“Fort…” His voice dropped off into a long mumble.
“What?”
“Forty-something!”
Donna continued her questioning. “Are you married?”
“Obviously not.”
“Do you have a family?”
“Not last time I checked.”
“Josh, if you were a woman, many people around the world might call you a
failure. You have no partner, no family and you’re life is basically half over. I’m just
erasing the double standard between men and women to make my point.”
He sat back, ready with the sarcasm. “Really! Thanks a lot there, Donnatella.”
She leaned forward with a gleam in her eye.
“Shall I continue?”
He huffed slightly, almost beyond words. “Yes…but, only because I want to see
you dig your way out of this hole you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“Then stop interrupting me. You were initially attracted to Amy, I believe, for a
variety of reasons: nostalgia, common background, the thrill of the chase, not to mention
the key points that she’s an intelligent, dominant, politically-oriented, thin, brunette who
cuts you down to size and puts you in your place.”
Josh tried to laugh. “Well, at least you give her points for being smart.” His
chuckle died away as Donna glared.
“I’m analysing you, not her.”
“You know, it’s shocking that you didn’t finish that psychology major.”
“I know,” she smiled. There was a slight pause as she drew breath – Josh gripped
the armrests of his chair a bit tighter in anticipation, or fear, he couldn’t tell which. He
didn’t know if he should smile back at her, or fire her immediately. He couldn’t make up
his mind, and so his mouth kind of just hung open, like a moose stunned by an accurate
tranquilliser dart.
“Amy’s a challenge for you,” Donna continued, “because you’re more or less
equals, which is usually vital to a relationship. Plus, she has a real passion for what she
does, just like you do, and you find that kind of intellect sexy. But, it’s not that your
equals, it’s that you’re twins – same tactics, same sarcasm, same smarts, different sexes.
So you start to get snippy, or she does, and then neither of you can over look it…though
she usually scores more points, interestingly enough.”
“Hey!” he interjected. “I score points!” He frowned at her patronising look. “I
do!” he whined.
She chose to ignore him at this juncture. “Since neither of you understand the
language of compromise with your lover, or take the time to listen, or figure out what you
really want and need from the relationship, the whole thing becomes a hopeless screw-up.
And then you just schlep along, waiting for her to dump you since she’s a powerful
woman who knows her own mind, and if she takes the initiative you won’t feel guilty
about hurting a girl’s feelings.”
Donna sat back, victorious. Josh tried many times to say something to take that
smirk off her face, but he couldn’t get the words out and just huffed instead. At last, all
he could come up with was, “Didn’t Toby warn you about bringing out the Yiddish?”
“Is he here now?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then I don’t care.”
Josh took a few deep breaths, running his hands over his face and mussing up his
hair. “So, according to you, we now know that I’m an emotional idiot, and thank you,
really, for bringing that to my attention, but where exactly does the clone part come into
it?”
Donna had had just about enough of intentionally obtuse Josh in one ten-minute
period, so she took a more direct approach: yelling. “You date the same woman, Josh!
You’re only ever interested in one type that’s out there. And you date her all the time!
Mandy, Joey, Amy. The names may change, but song’s the same.” Her voice grew
louder and more impassioned as she continued. “It’s like you love chocolate ice cream
and you won’t have anything else, ever. But would it kill you to try butterscotch for a
change? Would it??”
“Do I still get to keep the waffle cone?”
“Argh!” she screamed. “You’re impossible!”
By then Donna was on her feet, leaning half way over the desk and shouting in
Josh’s face. They stared at each other for a long time, neither one moving, but both
breathing heavily. She thought his eyes hadn’t looked this brown in quite a while, and
that they hadn’t taken stock of her this way in forever. When was it he had held her last?
She could remember a quick kiss on the cheek and a bear hug at the last State of the
Union, but nothing after that. Nothing after that.
She backed away from the desk slowly and sat down, trying not to run
immediately out of the room. She knew that Josh didn’t have much of a poker face, but
for some unfortunate reason just now he had finally nailed it.
“Donna, I…”
“Oh, forget it. It doesn’t matter.”
“But…”
“Just drop it!” She looked at her watch and groaned. “It’s late, I’m going home.
Are you coming?”
Josh looked at her, his eyes bright. “To your place?”
It wasn’t a serious offer, and she knew it – right now, she didn’t know for sure if
she would have wanted it to be a genuine proposal. Somewhere away from the West
Wing, Sam was thinking of her and wanted her. One man knew his own mind, and the
one in front of her didn’t, and that was enough for now.
A ghost of a smile passed her lips. “You’re impossible,” she said again, this time
as a whisper. She opened the door and walked out to find her coat. A few seconds later
Josh was leaning against the doorframe, watching her move about the bullpen.
“Are you okay getting home?”
“I’ll be fine,” she muttered, doing her best to avoid looking at him. She walked
by him, her smile unfocused.
“Hey, Donna!” he called out when she had passed by him.
“Yes?”
“I know this is coming out of left field, but do you know if Sam is dating someone
new?”
She froze. Now would be the perfect time to tell him yes, and that it was her. But
she couldn’t do it. The look on his face that night she had told him about Cliff in her
apartment was seared into her brain. She didn’t want to see it again.
“I’m not sure. Has he seemed different to you?”
“Not really, but kind of. He just seems distracted and happy, you know, in the
manly guy way. I got a feeling something might be up.”
Donna looked back at him, leaning against the wall. “I couldn’t tell you,” she
said with a tight smile.
“Yeah, I guess not.”
Just then the phone rang. “Can you get it?” Donna asked. “I’m already leaving.”
He walked over to her cubicle instead of going into the office and picked up the receiver.
“Hello?” His voice softened immediately. “Oh, hi…” The change was an
obvious sign that a woman was on the other end of the line, and that whoever it was
meant something to him. And for Donna it was just more proof that he still liked
chocolate ice cream.
By the time Josh turned around, she was gone.
“Donna! Did you hear?” Margaret slinked up to Donna and grabbed her arm,
pulling her away from a much-needed morning cup of coffee.
“Did I hear what?”
Margaret silenced any questions with a look that could only mean one of two
things: either Leo and the President were preparing for a nuclear holocaust, or Margaret
had tracked down some extra juicy gossip.
“We can’t talk here,” she whispered cryptically, dragging a bewildered Donna out
of the bullpen and over to her desk next to Leo’s office.
“Margaret, what have you found out?” Donna couldn’t help assuming a
completely false air of seriousness. “Is Charlie going to destroy Josh’s desk next?”
“Donna, I think you had better sit down, because I’m fairly certain you’re not
going to believe this.” She quirked an eyebrow at Margaret’s latest madcap melodrama,
but sat down just the same.
“Okay, now when I tell you this, I want you to remember that we’re near the Oval
Office, so screaming would be a really bad idea…I have it on good authority that two
certain people were seen leaving the building together. And it looked like it was about to
get pretty hot and heavy as soon as they left the parking lot.”
Donna was stunned. Someone had seen her leave with Sam? When? They’d
been so careful not to let anyone clue in about their affair—though they both had agreed
they preferred the term ‘romance.’ But if Margaret knew, then it could only be a matter
of hours until Josh found out. Oh Lord.
“But Margaret…how can you be sure?”
“They were seen leaving together late last night.”
The words flew out of Donna’s mouth before she could stop them. “But, I didn’t
leave with Sam last night.”
“What??” Margaret’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head and her jaw dropped.
“You and Sam??”
“Oh God, no one was supposed to find out.” All Donna wanted to do was shrink
into the chair, or maybe crawl under the desk. “Please…don’t say anything.”
She looked up to see Margaret definitely giving her a once-over, looking for
telltale hickeys or, even more obvious, a telltale turtleneck hiding the telltale hickeys.
“Donna, I promise I won’t say anything, though you have to fill me in on all of it later.
But, what I’ve got to tell you is an absolute nightmare.” She paused, letting the moment
build up. Donna leaned forward in the char, waiting.
“It was Josh and Amy,” she whispered.
Rearing back in Margaret’s chair, the blood drained away from Donna’s face.
“No!” Her cry came out a little louder than she had intended. “They were breaking up,”
she argued, shaking her head in denial. “It was World War III between them. There was
no going back, it was so over. He said she’d become the Air Raid girl…she is the Air
Raid girl…”
Margaret came closer and put a hand on Donna’s shoulder. “I can see that you’re
not taking this well.”
“Oh my God!” Donna’s eyes snapped out of their trance. “Has anyone seen Josh
yet today?”
“My sources tell me you might be in for a bit of a day.”
“Margaret, I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but just who are your sources?”
She shook her head. “I’ll never say. I have to protect my secret informants until
my dying day. Otherwise, Carol and Surveillance Camera Ed would never forgive me.”
There was a long pause as Margaret replayed that last sentence in her head. “Okay,
Donna, new plan. I won’t say anything to anyone about Sam, I won’t even ask for
details, and you just forget the last thirty seconds of this conversation.”
“Deal.”
“But since you’re on the inside now anyway, I can tell you that somehow I doubt
many of us will be hollering for joy now that Boa Girl and LemonLyman are back
together again.”
“MARGARET!” Leo’s bellow for his assistant echoed down the hall.
“Oops,” she said quickly, pushing Donna out of her chair. “I think you’d better
go.”
Leo appeared, set to kill. His face changed drastically when he saw that Margaret
had company. “Good morning, Donna,” he greeted cheerfully, with enough saccharine in
his smile to bring on a cavity. The smile vanished as he pointed at Margaret. “You, my
office.”
“But I…”
“It seems that someone has been hassling Ed over at Surveillance about getting to
see film from the security cameras. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?
Get in there.” He waved goodbye to Donna as he pushed Margaret through the entrance
to his office. “Donna, you’d better get back to Josh—the Gossip Queen here is about to
lose her crown.”
Margaret shook her head dismissively and gave Donna a thumbs-up before Leo
closed the door behind him. He didn’t stand a chance.
The day went by quickly, but Donna still felt physically and emotionally drained
by the extremely early hour of 10pm. Josh had been moody all day—not quite what one
would have expected after a night of hot sex with Amy. In fact, instead of oozing
masculine satisfaction at his latest conquest, he had been downright cranky with staffers
and doing his best to avoid any contact with Donna from the first moment they had seen
each other that morning. She could only assume that he was fighting with Amy…again.
It was definitely becoming an annoying pattern.
After Josh had a temper tantrum in his office about Ritchie’s latest right-wing
media attack on the President he had gone, under orders from Donna, to have a rest in
Toby’s office.
“Cat-naps are powerful things, Josh. I had them all through college.”
“You didn’t get through college,” he muttered, but his sulking soon lost out to
sheer tiredness. Donna followed him into the darkened room with a blanket draped over
her arm.
“Lie down,” she ordered.
“Now’s really not the time for tough love, there, Donna.”
Rolling her eyes, pushed him lightly back into the couch, then shut the blinds and
unfolded the blanket, tucking him in. “Now I know why my mother likes you so
much…it’s because you’re twins.”
“That’s not the kind of thought you want to stick with if you’re going to have
sexy dreams about me,” she joked.
Josh sat halfway up, his eyes wide open. “You know about those?”
“Know about what? Your kinky boss-assistant fantasies? I’ve known about them
since the California Primary way back when,” she teased.
He scowled and flopped back down on the couch. “You’re sassing me,” he
growled, “that’s mean.”
“That’s my job! Now go to sleep and I’ll come back to wake you up in a few
hours.”
“One hour.”
“We’ll see.” And with that, she closed the door and headed back across the
bullpen. She almost walked straight into Sam as he walked down the hallway.
“Donna!” He looked around to make sure no one was there before pulling her
into his arms. Their kiss was brief, but powerful. His tongue tasted her lips before her
mouth opened beneath him. Their tongues touched for a moment before Sam backed
away. “That would have lasted much longer if we weren’t where we are,” he sighed.
“I know.” She smiled at him and then hugged him tightly. She spoke softly with
her head pillowed on his shoulder, “It’s been a long day.”
“You can say that again. Can you leave yet?”
She pulled back and shook her head. “Josh had a bit of a day too, so we’re
somewhat behind. I’m not going to be going for a few more hours.”
“He’s a slave-driver.”
“Just like you,” she teased.
Sam bent down, resting his forehead against hers as he let out a long breath.
“We’re going to have to tell him sometime.”
“I know that.” She did her best not to get defensive, but her tone was still
somewhat sharp. “I know we have to tell him, but it can’t be now. He’s so stressed with
everything else that’s going on, we don’t need him to be distracted by some idiotic notion
that we’ve…I don’t know…betrayed him, or something.”
“Donna, we’re not betraying anyone. We’re two consenting adults who have
known each other for a long time. This is perfectly normal. So why do we have to
pretend to our friends?”
“I’m just not ready yet to go more public about this.” She sighed, wishing she
could find the words to make him understand. “You have to trust me right now, Sam.
When it’s the right time, I’ll scream it from the rooftops that you’re my guy.”
He smiled, his blue eyes crinkling at her despite his fatigue. “I can live with that,
I suppose. I’ll be waiting for you at my place, okay?”
“Sure.” She paused, thinking. “Sam? I was talking to Josh last night…he asked
if you were seeing anyone new.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. He thought you were giving out subtle signs to the other
males in the building that something was going on.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “I’m really good at that.”
“I just thought you should know.”
“Just promise me you won’t lie about anything. If he asks you straight out about
us, you should tell him. Or I will. Or we both will. Okay?”
“Okay,” she promised.
“I’ll see you later.” He kissed her quickly on the nose and then moved aside so
that she brushed his body as she walked past him. The smile didn’t leave her face until
she got back to her desk.
The sound of Josh’s office door opening pulled her from her reverie. Donna
swung around in her chair to see Amy leaning against the door.
“Donna.”
“Hi, Amy. If you’re looking for Josh, he’s gone to sleep for a bit on Toby’s
couch. He seemed pretty worn out today.”
“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” Amy snapped.
“Excuse me?”
“Josh being worn out. Like I’ve made him tired from all the ‘love-making.’
Wasn’t that your line before?”
Donna blushed slightly and slowly got to her feet. “Look, Amy, I don’t know
what Josh told you, but I have no problem with you two dating. If my teasing him hurt
you somehow, that’s not what I intended.”
Amy stared at Donna so intently her anger seemed almost palpable. “You know,
I’m really quite intrigued by your intentions where Josh is concerned.”
“I hope I’m misunderstanding you.”
“I don’t think you are,” Amy snorted.
Donna looked away and started packing her things. “I’m not having this
conversation.”
Amy laughed cruelly. “You never struck me as the flighty type, Donna. But then
again, what do I know?”
“I don’t think you know anything if you’re acting this way.”
“I think you should come into Josh’s office so we can discuss this properly.”
Amy paused staring Donna down. “What, are you afraid?” she taunted.
“I could never be afraid of you. And I think you should be ashamed of yourself
for being an advocate of women in public and then in private act like the biggest bitch in
the world.”
“Well, well, well, it seems you do have some spunk in you after all. Shall we?”
She pointed to the empty office. Donna met Amy’s glare and then went into the room.
She spun around as Amy shut the door.
“I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, but there’s nothing going on
between Josh and me. We’re just friends.”
“He called your name,” Amy snapped.
“My name? When?”
“When do you think?”
Donna’s hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Oh my God,” she whispered,
“during…you know…”
“No, not then.” Amy gave her a small cruel smile, which easily confirmed
Margaret’s suspicions about what happened when Josh went home the night before.
“He
called for you afterwards, during some kind of bad dream.”
“A bad dream? What kind of bad dream?”
“It doesn’t matter…”
“Oh yes, it does. When Josh has bad dreams it’s serious. He’s overstressed right
now—the campaign, Simon’s death, Ritchie, and of course your little daily melodramas.”
She looked away as her mind put the clues together. “A bad dream right now could mean
that it’s coming back.”
“What is?”
Donna gave her a look of absolute disbelief. “You really don’t know much about
him, do you? He must have told you he has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He’s kept it
under control for a while now, but that doesn’t mean it just disappears because the
shooting was a long time ago. If he’s stressed he can have episodes again.”
“And just what did you use to do for him during these ‘episodes’?” accused Amy.
“Because he certainly made it seem last night like you did a lot.”
“Excuse me?”
“He called for you. When I tried to wake him up he thought I was you and
then…stuff happened.” She waved her hand in the air dismissively, but the hurt was
clearly in her eyes. “It’s obvious something had to have been going on whenever it was
you took care of him.”
Donna’s mind reeled. When Josh had called out for her during his recovery she
would come and hold him, but it had never gone beyond that. And a hug wouldn’t have
pissed off Amy to this kind of degree. So what had he done? He had had an episode and
then called for her while in Amy’s bed. Had he kissed Amy? Touched Amy thinking it
was really her? Her mind couldn’t absorb the information fast enough.
“What did you do to him?” she asked quietly.
“What did I do? What anyone else would have done. I told him to get lost and
stop acting like a needy five-year old. It was just a dream.”
Donna’s mouth fell open. “How could you be so cruel to him?”
“How could he call out for you in my bed? You’re just his assistant.”
“I’m more than that.”
“Only in your own delusional little world.”
Donna could hardly believe what she was hearing. Did the woman have no
feelings about Josh that ran deeper than sex? “Can’t you see you’re making it worse for
him?” she asked. “He needs someone he can lean on when he needs to, not some
heartless harpy who pushes him away.”
“J’s more than old enough to take care of himself.”
“That doesn’t mean he won’t need other people to help him through when things
get tough.” She was breathing deeply by now, and the spiteful look in Amy’s eyes made
her mad enough to forget all boundaries. “And stop calling him J!” she yelled. “It’s so
annoying and he doesn’t even like it.”
“Who do you think you are to tell me what I can and can’t call my boyfriend?”
Amy retorted. “Where do you get the nerve to do that?”
“Where were you when he was shot?”
“Well, obviously, I wasn’t there,” said Amy, rolling her eyes.
“No, you weren’t,” agreed Donna. “You weren’t in that hospital waiting to see
whether he would live or die. You weren’t there for him when he needed friends the
most. In fact, you’ve never been there.”
“Listen here, Donnatella,” Amy snapped, pointing her finger in Donna’s face, “I
knew him years before you dragged your sorry ass into that campaign office.”
Donna snorted. “You don’t even know who he is.”
“I know him well enough to know that he’s doing just fine with me, thank you
very much.”
“Fine with you!” she cried in disbelief. “God! You’re the main reason the attacks
are coming back!”
“Time to clue in there, Donna. He’s not sick anymore.”
“How would you know anything about it? I was the one who was there. I’m the
one who took care of him for months. When he woke up screaming from his dreams I
was the one who held him in my arms until the tremors stopped. That was me, not you. I
know him better than anyone else in this city, anyone else in this country! So believe me
when I say that you giving him grief for the past few months hasn’t exactly been good for
him!”
Amy shook her head derisively. “Well, you can think that you’re Florence
Nightingale as much as you want, but your days as his nursemaid were over years ago. If
you know J so well, tell me this. Who does he come home to every night, you or me?
Who does he kiss? Which one of us does he join in the shower in the morning? Do you
even know what it feels like to have his weight above you and beneath you and pressing
against you and inside you? You might have seen his scar, but have you ever traced it
with your mouth? Have you ever touched him so that he moans like he can never get
enough? Do you know how it feels when he’s worshipping your body with his hands, his
mouth, his tongue? Does he get hard for you from the smallest glance and take you to
places where your whole body shakes from need and pleasure? Does he make love to
you every night again and again and again?”
There was a long moment of silence as the blood slowly drained away from
Donna’s face. Shock, anger, jealousy and the pain of the truth raced through her, until
she couldn’t stand it and flung the door open. Amy’s eyes gleamed in triumph.
“That’s what I thought,” she said smugly. “You’re his assistant, Donna, not his
wife. Certainly not his lover. So why don’t you shove this know-it-all attitude and get
out of my face.”
Donna closed her eyes and shook her head, not hearing Amy’s last words. “It’s
not love with you,” she said softly.
“Excuse me?”
“He’s not making love to you.” She opened her eyes and stared Amy down.
“You have sex, you fuck each other. But he will never love you. It would never be
making love for him.”
“Really?” The sarcasm dripped from Amy’s voice. “And I guess you’re wanting
me to ask why.”
Donna smiled, her face perfectly calm. “Because I’m still here.”
Amy blenched visibly at the power of Donna’s words and then tried to recover.
“You won’t be here for long, I can promise you that.” Donna just continued to smile and
then turned to leave.
She stopped in her tracks as Josh stepped out of the shadows.
“What are you doing here?” cried Amy.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
Donna felt consumed by the look in his eyes. “How much did you hear?” she
asked quietly.
“Every word.”
She let out a long breath and nodded. Josh didn’t smile, didn’t frown. He just
kept staring at Donna until she moved aside, grabbed her things and walked past him. He
moved his hand as if to stop her, then reconsidered and let her walk by him without a
word. His eyes then turned on Amy. As Donna pushed her way through the door she
could hear the hardness in his voice as he spoke. “Do you mind trying to explain to me
what the hell just happened here?” he asked.
Donna stopped for a moment as the door swung closed behind her, stopping her
from hearing Amy’s answer. She looked up at the ceiling of the main foyer as Josh’s
words reverberated around her brain. *Do you mind trying to explain to me what the hell
just happened here?*
She only wished she knew.